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How's your DP/DH holding up?

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September 8th, 2012, 01:51 PM
Carwen*Angel's Avatar Fly away on my zephyr
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Manchester, UK
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How's your DP holding up post-partum? Is he ok, or do you think he feels down or pushed out or anything like that since baby arrived?
Or is he driving YOU crazy because of not doing enough himself?

I'm a little concerned about Shaun. I think he was a bit traumatised by the way Michaela's birth went. He witnessed more than I did both in terms of her rough start and me being critically ill, whereas I was too out of it to realise the gravity of our situation at the time, and it just seems so distant now looking back.

Plus he has his court case looming not this coming week but the week after, over custody of his older daughter. He is also tired because he's the only driver in our house right now and he's doing a lot of Michaela's night care because he will insist on me getting a good night's sleep and will only let me do the night feeds every few nights, because I'm supposed to be convalescing.

It's his birthday on Wednesday and since I couldn't well go shopping I have ordered a personalised card and flowers and chocolates to be delivered for him, with messages about how he's been my absolute rock and I couldn't have got through the last few weeks without him, how much I appreciate him. I don't know what else to do for him. I am waiting for him to be out when my ex is over to see Daniel because I want to ask my ex (we're still friends incidentally, this is not that weird for us) to strike up a conversation with Shaun about my births, since he had the trauma of the first one and there were similar elements to the two. They talk every Saturday when Shaun picks Daniel up from his dad's house after his weekly visit, so it would be easy to rig up, and perhaps he would talk about it more to Chris than to me. Who knows. Wish I knew what more I could do for him...wish I could go to court with him just for moral support, too, but it just isn't possible. Sorry, rambling now....I hope all your DPs are doing ok.

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September 8th, 2012, 03:07 PM
K.A.T's Avatar Enjoying her Sticky Bun
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: NYC
Posts: 13,499
He's been crazy but that's due to other things non baby related. I'm truly worried about hit due to how he's handling the stress. I'm hoping he can wake up and see that his way to destress isn't healthy.

❤ Big Thanks to Vicki, trishosaurus, & Shortcake for the great siggies of my kids! ❤
Liz (36) Kev (35)
Tiana (16) Doni (14) Lil Kev (8) Ethan 7/23/12 Lil Roo 10/29/11

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September 8th, 2012, 03:13 PM
Jessimaaka's Avatar Pink in a house of Blue
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 16,567
I think he's feeling a little left out...Sometimes Cameron just wants me because I'm his source of food. He sleeps in the spare room as I get Cameron transitioned to his bassinet. He's also gone all day and then sometimes goes out in the evening and I don't go with him. So he's a bit disheartened sometimes. He also still smokes, and now that Cameron is here, all I want is a smoke so its very hard for me to kiss/hug him since it makes me want one even more and I don't want to start again. Its the 4th trimester for sure.

Sharron - he also saw a lot more than me during his birth - they had already started the c-section when they led him into the OR so he saw EVERYTHING and he was definitely disconcerted and freaked out by that.
DS1: C 8/12/2012
DS2: L 3/30/2014
Surprise baby! due 3/27/2017

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September 8th, 2012, 07:14 PM
magz88's Avatar First Time Mum
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 3,411
Don't smoke, Jessica - you made it so long without one!

Rich seems OK - I think he misses having access to my body as much as he used to.
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September 8th, 2012, 07:51 PM
alicenwonderland's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Location: Rochester NY
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hugs! I can see where that would be rough for him

DH seems pretty unaffected so far, as i pretty much take care of Cora and he takes care of Ted. Things will change once i start working again.

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September 8th, 2012, 09:31 PM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jun 2005
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DH has been so helpful in taking care of the other kids. When he gets home from work he jumps right in.

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September 8th, 2012, 10:35 PM
Sherry777's Avatar Blessed Mommy
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Memphis, TN
Posts: 2,360
George gets incoherent in the middle of the night when he helps. He still gets up, but I try not to ask him for much help. I'm not back at work yet. Therefore, I want him to get plenty of rest for all he handles: taking the kids to and from school, helping with homework, etc. Right now, I still nurse Pippa round the clock, and he takes up the slack.

I think the thought of sex in 2 weeks keeps him going.

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September 9th, 2012, 07:42 AM
MosaicWife's Avatar Missa
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Virginia
Posts: 5,370
Bobby is great as always. He is an awesome father. He's also recently taken up the responsibility of taking Doc to school and therapies. He cleans when i can't get to it because i have a clingy baby. He cooks, he takes care of the older kids when he's home and still has time to snuggle Paxton and change a few if his diapers to give me a break. He gives the older kid's baths and puts them to bed. He gets up in the middle of the night with Doc when he has to. He gets up early to make Doc's lunch for school. He's amazing.
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September 9th, 2012, 12:29 PM
berryblue031's Avatar Mathias' Super Mommy!
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Denmark
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My hubby is loving having a baby that will let him help lol. DS is a mommy's boy - when DH tries to help him he usually screams "go away daddy!" and as a baby he would just scream lol.

Anna on the other hand loves snuggling with daddy and he is soaking it all in lol

Mathias: Born Nov 10 2009 weighing in at: 9lbs 2oz & 22inches (4150g 54cm)

Anna Elizabeth: Born Aug 24 2012 weighing in at: 8lbs 6oz & 20.5inches (3795g 52cm)
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September 9th, 2012, 12:45 PM
Mom2JDub's Avatar (formerly junie22)
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: California
Posts: 11,271
Sharron, sorry things have been so rough for Shaun. I hope things start looking up for him. I think it would be great if you could get Chris to talk to Shaun about it all. I think it's wonderful that he's been your rock, and it sounds like you're his rock too.

My DH has been awesome. He honestly just does anything I need, including trips to get me more maxi pads and a hemorrhoid pillow to relieve the pain on my stitches.

He's been especially amazing this weekend, waking up with Jack during the 3 o'clock hour both mornings so I could get more sleep. Now that I'm pumping, that's an option, and he's more than happy to do it. He loves cuddles with his "little buddy."

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September 9th, 2012, 06:42 PM
tryingfornumber1's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Sep 2011
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Brian has been awesome, but I think he's wearing a bit thin. He gets frustrated a lot more easily now and it sucks to see.

He does all the night time feedings on the weekend for me so he's pretty exhausted by the time Sunday night rolls around.
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