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Frustrated custody rant


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  • 1 Post By JenJen3574

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  #1  
October 10th, 2012, 06:47 PM
KatyG's Avatar Super Mommy
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I just really need vent right now. I'm sure if this is the right place for this thread to go.
Just some background info: I broke up with the twins dad shortly after they were born. He was in the hospital the day were the born. He brought his parents to see them 6 weeks later but other than that he hasn't seen them. He will ask me about them at school and ask for pictures but he doesn't come see them. He doesn't pay for anything not diapers or daycare not anything.
Then today he comes to my house asking about overnight visits and them spending the weekends. I told him he hasn't seen them in almost 5 months and before we start taking about over night visits he should come see them a couple of days during the week for a while. Then he got mad and started saying how he was going to take me to court and when he gets them that's the last time I'm going to see them ever again. I'm mad. I never kept the twins from him and I always told him and his parents to come see them whenever he wants and I'm not trying be like those moms who keep the babies away from the dad for no reason. But they are still so little, I'm not ready for them to be gone overnight. His mom smokes like a chimney so I really don't want them at that house. I just don't get why out of the blue he thinks he can just come and take them.
*Sigh* looks like I'm getting a lawyer
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  #2  
October 10th, 2012, 08:41 PM
shanirah's Avatar Mommy Strawberry
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i don't think you were being unreasonable. they don't know him, so there is no reason that he should just take them and go. No judge is going to go with what he is saying, you weren't keeping them from him but it's in their best interest to have him be around more with you there then not.
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  #3  
October 11th, 2012, 08:18 AM
JenJen3574's Avatar Super Mommy
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You are doing the right thing by suggesting shorter visits first. He cannot just expect those babies to go overnight with someone that is virtually a stranger to them. What a moron - he wouldn't even enjoy that visit because the babies would probably be pretty fussy at missing their mommy!

As for his threats - I know it is upsetting to hear, but there is no possible way any judge on earth is going to just take those kids away from you and give them to him. PLEASE! Plus, remember that in order to get himself a lawyer, get before a judge, and have a ruling against you would take effort and money from him. Things he hasn't really shown he's willing to invest in the first place. I bet he is just mad you are not giving him his way and those are pretty empty threats.

Keep doing what you know is best for your kids, agree to reasonable visitation if he will, and know that he can't and probably won't even try to follow through on those threats.
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  #4  
October 11th, 2012, 12:45 PM
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Agreed.
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  #5  
October 12th, 2012, 11:56 AM
KatyG's Avatar Super Mommy
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Thanks ladies! I just needed some words of encouragement
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  #6  
October 15th, 2012, 10:41 PM
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You def are not in the wrong....it amazes me he thinks that would be ok after not seeing them for months!! I am sorry you have to deal with that.
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  #7  
October 16th, 2012, 11:19 AM
KatyG's Avatar Super Mommy
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Girl he is crazy, he won't even come to my house and see them or let me come over to his house without the babies . I don't think he really wants to spend time with them.When the twins are used to him I would be more than happy to let them go with their dad for a few hours or something, I think they are way to young to be away from me overnight but I can try to get over that eventually lol.
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  #8  
October 16th, 2012, 10:53 PM
JennLynn_'s Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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i am in a similar situation. From all the research i've done, a judge will not grant overnight visits to babies at this age away from the mom. A friend of mine has a court order in place for her 4 month old and the dad is only allowed supervised visits every sunday fo 3 hours. So pfft to him.
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  #9  
October 24th, 2012, 09:44 PM
lilmissb772's Avatar Super Mommy
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I'm going through the same thing right now and I'm terrified that the judge is going to give him shared custody cause that seems to be the norm around here. He's only seen my daughter 4 times and the last was at 7 weeks old (she's 6 1/2 months now). He's a known pill addict and shoots up. I've personally witnessed him passed out in a plate of food on more than one occasion, seen him nod out while standing, and I accidentally came across his needle. Not to mention he wrecked 2 cars in less than a year all while under the influence of pills. I fear for my daughters life around him, but I have no way to prove anything besides a police report for possession. He's already told me that he managed to pass a drug test a few years back even though he'd taken a few pills earlier in the day. I seriously lose sleep over this
Btw, you don't have to get a lawyer. I'm in Florida and I'm doing the paperwork and filing myself. I will get one if the judge gives him anything more than supervised visits though.
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  #10  
October 26th, 2012, 02:07 PM
KatyG's Avatar Super Mommy
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lilmissb772 View Post
I'm going through the same thing right now and I'm terrified that the judge is going to give him shared custody cause that seems to be the norm around here. He's only seen my daughter 4 times and the last was at 7 weeks old (she's 6 1/2 months now). He's a known pill addict and shoots up. I've personally witnessed him passed out in a plate of food on more than one occasion, seen him nod out while standing, and I accidentally came across his needle. Not to mention he wrecked 2 cars in less than a year all while under the influence of pills. I fear for my daughters life around him, but I have no way to prove anything besides a police report for possession. He's already told me that he managed to pass a drug test a few years back even though he'd taken a few pills earlier in the day. I seriously lose sleep over this
Btw, you don't have to get a lawyer. I'm in Florida and I'm doing the paperwork and filing myself. I will get one if the judge gives him anything more than supervised visits though.
I'm so sorry that's happening to you. I would loose sleep over that too. I got a lawyer because he has a really good family attorney and I just want to be prepared for whatever happens
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  #11  
November 6th, 2012, 07:11 PM
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I wouldn't let him have the kids without a custody order in place! In most states if there is no custody order he can take them and not bring them back until you fight in court to prove you had them full time. Trust me it happens!!! It sounds crazy but it happened to my friend! She had to fight to get her kids back and because they were not married they had equal rights until proven otherwise.
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