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Do your SO's attend your routine appts?

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November 6th, 2012, 11:01 AM
MarlowesMum's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jan 2012
Posts: 2,406
I have an appointment today and it's the first one that my DH will attend since the 20 week ultrasound. He was really good about attending these when I was pregnant with DD, but this second time around, it just hasn't been a priority. I don't blame him; he works in a different town, and he has to either get out of work early to come - or leave work entirely to come, all for what amounts to a lot of waiting for what is ultimately a 10 minute appointment. He went to the first in-office u/s appointment and the fetal growth/anatomy, but he hasn't been to one since. I'm going to try to schedule the final 4 for times that he can be there - but I'm wondering whether this is a trend with a lot of BTDT mommies/daddies?

So to reiterate my post title: How often do your SO's accompany you to these routine OB appointments? And just to clarify - are you a FTM/BTDT mommy?
Maggie - Proud Mommy to 2 Girls
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November 6th, 2012, 11:11 AM
taatie10's Avatar New Mommy & Pro Auntee
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: Northern AZ
Posts: 5,895
FTM- DH hasnt been to any of my actual Dr appts. He made it to the 17 week anatomy scan but that has been it so far.
He has tried to make my 24 week US and a few Dr's appts but he just hasnt been off work in time and we didnt feel it necessary for him to take the time off work. He always says I can explain whatever happens as good as he would get at the appt.
I always ask if he has questions he wants me to ask before I go for my appts. But hasnt had any yet.

I want to try to see my Dr after my follow up growth US & NST on the 12th. If I can, I want DH to be there for that. If I cant then I want him to be at the next Dr's appt after that.
But again it wont be the end of the world if he's not.

Thank you for the amazing siggy *Kiliki*

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November 6th, 2012, 11:13 AM
BlueJayBaby's Avatar Veteran
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Saskatchewan, Canada
Posts: 455
I'm a FTM. DH hasn't come to any of the "routine" appointments. He's just so busy at work that it makes it hard for him to do so. He came to all my ultrasounds and to my visit to the L&D a few weeks back though.

Thanks *Kiliki* for my wonderful siggy

Last edited by BlueJayBaby; November 6th, 2012 at 11:21 AM.
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November 6th, 2012, 11:14 AM
Join Date: Jan 2009
Posts: 207
I have to say im a bit blessed in the appt department, hubby has gone to every appt with me for this pregnancy along with every other pregnancy ( he works a dairy farm ( i feed calves so its close enough that i can pick him up or schedule for his day off ( during the week).
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November 6th, 2012, 11:17 AM
crystalcherry's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Bella Vista, Arkansas
Posts: 1,741
With Elijah only the mom was allowed to go back even for u/s. This time he could go but he doesent. I'm kind of glad he stays at home.
Mom to Jakob (10), Jarrett (9), and Elijah (4) and Tyler. (7 months) DH Cody
**always remembering my 3 angels*

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November 6th, 2012, 11:18 AM
lilemma86's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 1,101
mine has not been to them since the 20 week scan either. Work takes a little more importance right now than him attending a short visit in the middle of the day. I know that if there was something strange going on that he would be there, but i don't feel it is necessary for him to be there for every one. I have an appt tomorrow but he is out of town for the week. Im sure he will come to the last couple of them

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November 6th, 2012, 11:21 AM
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Milwaukee, WI
Posts: 268
It's typically not feasible for my DH to come to my routine apts due to his work schedule, but he did come to the anatomy scan U/S. most of them are so routine, I just don't feel it's necessary to have him juggle his work schedule, as I already have to adjust mine and we both work about an hour from home and my dr office. He will be attending my 37 wk appt next week though since he happens to be returning from a work trip that AM and was just going to finish out the day working from home.
Proud Mommy to Laila Grace, born 12/14/12

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November 6th, 2012, 11:29 AM
ash29nc's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: reidsville nc
Posts: 698
My dh has been to two of my atps with me its just not convienient for him

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November 6th, 2012, 11:38 AM
MarlowesMum's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jan 2012
Posts: 2,406
Well, it certainly appears that my situation is the “norm” for most everyone! Good to know that my DH isn’t the only one slacking in the appointment attendance department.
Maggie - Proud Mommy to 2 Girls
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November 6th, 2012, 11:46 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Los Angeles, CA
Posts: 1,259
DH never really has come to my regular OB appts. He's come for the big ultrasounds, but that's it. He works a 8-5 job and he cant just take off whenever he wants to.

Now that we have a midwife, she comes to our house during the day and he's at work anyways. I've never really wanted him there, to be honest, lol.

Mommy to Charlotte (b. 12/15/2008)
and Clara (b. 11/28/2010)
and Benjamin (b. 12/11/2012)
and NUMBER4! (due 7/4/2015)

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November 6th, 2012, 11:50 AM
Caleb's Mommy!
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: PA
Posts: 6,426
FTM- DH has only gone to the anatomy scan and the first u/s to see if there was a heartbeat. I personally don't want him there for routine ones, anyways.
I'm Becky
Wife to Josh
Mommy to Caleb Michael (born 12/11/12)
and Silas Carson (born 6/26/15)

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November 6th, 2012, 11:56 AM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Hoosier Girl!
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DH has never come to the routine appts. He has come to most ultrasounds...all first trimiester scans and all anatomy scans. Now that I am in the third tri I get more growth scans but he couldn't get off work for the last one...I have one more that he might come to but it is no big deal if he doesn't. There isnt much to look at when they are all squished at 36w anyway. But as far as regular BP, listen to HB, measure fundal height...any questions? visits...nope. No reason for him to take time off work to come for a 10 min appt. If he had a job where he could easily take off then it might be different. Now I do twice weekly NSTs and he doesn't come to those either. He has been to a few just to experience it though.
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November 6th, 2012, 12:26 PM
gardenbelle's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: California
Posts: 3,553
John went to all the first tri appts with my with my first born's pregnancy but mainly because I was so scared I would find out it was another miscarriage so I needed the moral support. After the first tri, I think he went to maybe one? He missed the level II u/s due to a stomach bug (which I had the pleasure of getting the next day, haha).
With Penny, he went to the 6 week u/s and the nuchal and I'm pretty sure he made it to the level II.
This one? He went to one ultrasound at 10 weeks and to the level II at 19 weeks and that's it. It's so hard to juggle childcare since I'm their primary care taker, so I've been scheduling them late in the afternoon so that he can come home to watch the kids while I go by myself. Getting a babysitter for an hour or two is such a PITA; they all want 3+ hour blocks of time. I don't mind though, this is kind of an old hat now that it's number 3 and unless I see a huge reason, it's more of a hassle to have him come than not since he works so much. He is always very interested about the appt though and asks for the play by play.

Last edited by gardenbelle; November 6th, 2012 at 12:30 PM.
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November 6th, 2012, 12:42 PM
Cassie.S's Avatar Proud Mommy!
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Illinois
Posts: 8,889
FTM - Nope. He has only been to my 2nd appointment, which was the first time we heard the heartbeat, and our gender ultrasound. I'm sure he'll come to our next ultrasound appointment as well. He would probably come to any of them if I asked him too but I don't think it'd be worth him taking the time off work for the routine visits that don't last long anyway.

Cassie, wife to Andrew, mommy to Sophia and Landon!

{Our family blog}

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November 6th, 2012, 01:13 PM
Blcooper32's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Tulsa OK
Posts: 1,991
I will be the oddball. Dh has been to all but two of my appointments with this pregnancy. With dd we were separated for some of it but he came to all the last ones. He works for our apartments so he can get offended he needs too

thank you bokkechick for my wonderful siggy

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November 6th, 2012, 01:27 PM
Becky_78's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: NYC, NY
Posts: 2,002
Joey has been with me to all the scheduled appts except one (when he was in Scotland & he was actually super bummed about it). He didn't go to the one in July when I was bleeding a bit either - although I wish he did so he could have sat through the 20 min DTD "positioning" talk as well I also was the only "chaperone" at all his PT appts after his surgery last year. We are obviously helicopter spouses

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November 6th, 2012, 01:29 PM
bug, boo, n boogers mom's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Texas
Posts: 5,795
BTDT mom- He comes to pretty much all my appts. He has only missed 3 because of being out of town for work. He def does try though!

Thank's to lovinMyGirls for my awsome name siggy!

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November 6th, 2012, 01:36 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Montana
Posts: 3,688
FTM here... my DH comes to all the appointments. In fact, we schedule them so that he doesn't have to miss work. He gets slightly offended at the suggestion that he doesn't need to be there. I'm glad about it, because I feel like it's really kept him involved and excited about the baby.

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November 6th, 2012, 02:04 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Southwest USA
Posts: 1,907
FTM- He came to a couple of appointments, the anatomy scan and that was it. He doesn't usually have to work when I go, but neither of us see any point in him going as they're routine and I find it far easier to talk to the midwife if he isn't there. (I love him, but he has the habit of jumping in and talking for me)

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November 6th, 2012, 02:07 PM
Tammyms's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Edmonton AB, Canada
Posts: 6,451
FTM - DH tries to come to anything he can, but it's mostly because I have SPD and it's very painful for me to get in/out of and ride in the car let alone drive

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