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Spoiling a newborn?


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  #1  
January 1st, 2013, 11:34 AM
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Maggie will only sleep at night if she's sleeping with me (on my chest, in the crook of my arm etc.). I don't really mind right now, it would be nice if she'd sleep in her crib, but I'm too tired right now to keep getting up to comfort her when she cries. (which is constantly when she's in the crib.)
BIL and SIL keep telling me that I'm spoiling her, and that we need to make her sleep in the crib now, because it will only be harder later. DH told me "She's only two weeks old, she's still trying to adjust to life outside."
I'm inclined to go with DH's thoughts, but now I'm worried that BIL&SIL are right. Can you spoil a newborn? I don't really think you can, but maybe I'm setting myself up for months and months of having to sleep with Maggie.
I know part of the problem right now is that DH moved his Xbox into our bedroom and is playing all night long which keeps her awake. She'll sleep just fine in her crib if the lights are out, it's quiet and we have the heartbeat sound going. (DH will be moving his Xbox back down to the living room Friday, when all the "company" leaves.)
Maybe I should just not worry about it until next week when everyone is gone and we're back to our normal schedule?
It's so hard to try and figure things out with 2 SIL's trying to tell me how to do things. (They are constantly finding fault with how I'm doing things. Grrr.)
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  #2  
January 1st, 2013, 11:55 AM
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Caleb sleeps in his crib and is usually an awesome sleeper, but my MIL still thinks I'm spoiling him because I don't let him CIO and I feed on demand instead of on a schedule. Don't listen to your in-laws. You can't spoil a baby this young by meeting her needs. Just follow your mommy instinct and do what's best for your baby and family. It sounds like she'll do fine in the crib once the xbox is gone anyways.

I'm looking forward to getting back to our normal routine too.
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  #3  
January 1st, 2013, 12:04 PM
taatie10's Avatar New Mommy & Pro Auntee
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I would worry about it after company leaves and things return to normal. From what I've read and been told is that you cant spoil a newborn.
I think DH is right, shes just trying to adjust and wants the comfort you being close to you that she had for so long.
We've had the same problem a few nights so Ill bring Samantha to bed with us.
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  #4  
January 1st, 2013, 12:06 PM
Dhartanya's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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You can't spoil a newborn.
You are meeting her needs.
Dont be told otherwise!
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  #5  
January 1st, 2013, 12:07 PM
Cassie.S's Avatar Proud Mommy!
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I don't think you can either. DH says I hold her too much, which I do pretty much hold her all day long, but she's just too cute to put down! haha
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  #6  
January 1st, 2013, 12:18 PM
Dhartanya's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Cassie.S View Post
I don't think you can either. DH says I hold her too much, which I do pretty much hold her all day long, but she's just too cute to put down! haha
That's what steve tells me too.
I've resorted to sticking my tongue out at him when he says it lol I'm mature lol
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  #7  
January 1st, 2013, 01:04 PM
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You can't spoil a newborn! Don't stress it, it will work itself out. PS you are a better wife than me because that xbox would be out the window!
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  #8  
January 1st, 2013, 01:54 PM
Gripstress's Avatar GothMom
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Don't listen to them...you can not spoil a newborn. They have lots of needs and don't have the ability to take advantage of you. It is hard to transition to a crib later but much easier than doing it now. Later they can at least sort of understand that they are going in the crib to sleep. Just ignore them.
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  #9  
January 1st, 2013, 02:17 PM
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Thanks ladies. That's what I thought, but with everyone being so insistent I was beginning to have doubts
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  #10  
January 1st, 2013, 02:35 PM
lilemma86's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I don't think you can spoil them. But my lo has been on a two to three hour crying spell about three or four in the morning.
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  #11  
January 1st, 2013, 06:01 PM
Miss Kelly's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Victoria spends most of the night sleeping with me. She squishes her head against where my heart is, skin to skin, and does not want to be moved. I'll worry about getting her into the crib later.
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  #12  
January 1st, 2013, 06:55 PM
bug, boo, n boogers mom's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I don't think you can spoil them at this age! I hold Kenzie as much as I can!
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  #13  
January 1st, 2013, 08:17 PM
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I would say dont worry about all that right now.

With my second, she never ever fell asleep by herself when she was a newborn. She had to be strapped tight into the Moby and bounced on a yoga ball. When she was about 2 months old, she started liking the swing so she was in that all night long to sleep. If any baby was going to be addicted to anything, it was going to be her! I was worried about it for awhile, but quickly realized that in the early days you just do what you can to get sleep!

So when she was about 3-4 mos old, one night I just decided I was going to start a bedtime routine and move her to her crib. Ill be honest that I was going to let her CIO a little bit. Well, I did a little routine, put her in her bed, and she didnt cry at all. Just went to sleep like she had been doing it all along! And she didnt cry after that at bedtime (at least not for a looong time). Naps were a little bit more of a task, but it still wasnt bad because she napped in her swing until she was 14 mos old, haha.

So yeah, dont worry about it, they are all needy at this point! They will outgrow it soon.
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  #14  
January 2nd, 2013, 11:19 AM
Blcooper32's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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i have been told by all the drs and nurses that have been involved with the twins that you can not spoil a newborn. i say mine are as close to spoild as it gets. at this age they need comforted when something is off so i think its probably just the excitment of the holidays and the xbox which i too would destroy if it was an issue lol.
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  #15  
January 2nd, 2013, 06:38 PM
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I might be the only mama who somewhat agrees with NOT sleeping with the NB. BUT only b/c I am still sleeping with my almost 3 year old now. Heh heh. It's hard to tell what temperament your baby will have as they get older. I was a total cosleeper with my 2 older sons. DS1 adjusted just fine and at 4 months transitioned to his crib with no problems. DS2 turned out to be very needy and anxious AND have asthma. Needless to say, trying to get him to a crib and then a toddler bed later on has been impossible! With my NB I have swaddled him tight and made sure to bassinet/crib train him from day 1. I totally LOVE snuggling my new baby, but unfortunately, you just can't predict how their sleeping habits will develope as they age. I hope that didn't come off sounding preachy. :/ Just wanted to offer my experience.
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  #16  
January 2nd, 2013, 07:46 PM
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I want to add that I was very pro-crib with my first and at 3 yrs old when she was in a toddler bed she started crawling into our bed every night... and is still there, haha. So just because you crib train now doesnt mean that wont change later on. All children are different and IMO its important to meet them at their needs. <3
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  #17  
January 3rd, 2013, 11:26 AM
rucca1002's Avatar Veteran
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You cannot spoil a newborn. I recall reading with my first that 6 months is when they are start to be spoiled? Either way, all of my kids slept with me... it wasn't planned... just where they slept the best and I needed rest too. I think it is just fine that she is sleeping with you.
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  #18  
January 4th, 2013, 08:29 AM
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You cannot spoil a newborn. They are used to being "held" and comforted 24/7 to all of a sudden being alone in the world. They need to feel secure. It is also WAY to early to CIO. You can try putting her to bed awake but drowsy but that doesn't always work. Do what works for you now and once LO gets older you can try other sleep methods or things will just work out on their own.
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