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Help! My girl does not want me to put her down!


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  #41  
January 8th, 2013, 02:05 PM
Jinnah
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Michelle, I think you gave some nice suggestions (trying swings or playgyms, using pacifiers, etc.). I know sometimes a baby will fuss for a few minutes and then go to sleep, and if they don't have the few minutes, they won't go to sleep. I, personally, just hold Elijah all the time and if he fusses, I pick him up, BUT I am a SAHM (I do online school) and I have the time to do that, plus DH wants me to do that and picks up the slack when things around the house don't get finished. So, of course I say just hold the baby and let other things slide (I take a shower - daily - when DH gets home or Elijah is asleep in the swing). I do understand that not everyone does this (holds baby at all times) and I know they try to train their babies to soothe themselves for a little bit.

On the other hand, it's the terminology you used that got others upset/worried. Crying it out is not what you described. It's leaving baby alone to cry themselves to sleep and I feel it's completely inappropriate. That is why Cutx said not to use that term, as it is not what you do! I don't think she was trying to be rude to you (I would hope not) and I do think that KMH is correct about things getting misinterpreted online. So, what I am trying to say is, don't feel bad about your suggestions and just know that you did clarify what you said and all is well! I think we have a great group and wouldn't want something like this to ruin it, ya know? I do understand why you got upset, but don't be!

Quote:
Originally Posted by kristenpie View Post
Ashley, I have been on JM long enough to hear about mothers letting 2 month olds cry for 30 minutes. May be hard to believe, but I guarantee that MANY people do it. There is a crackhead doctor somewhere out there informing parents that babies should be STTN by 15 lbs, I hear that one a lot on here. I know that's off the subject but I just wanted to explain that I'm not exaggerating. Whimpering a few minutes while you get out of the shower is different than for example making your baby cry for 30 minutes so they'll take a nap so that you can shower.
You are correct, people seriously do this. I saw a mother letting her newborn baby cry his or her little head off while she texted/talked on her cell phone. The baby was in the hospital because he/she was sick. Sooo inappropriate!
  #42  
January 8th, 2013, 02:12 PM
michellelove0502's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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This isnt even the first post where I have seen her go off at people so im going to let it go and for you to call me a ***** is completely inappropriate. I may not have a farm but I am working on a masters degree, taking care of home, taking care of my child, and working. Im not comparing lives with you but dont try to make it seem like taking a shower is more important to me thany child. I didnt judge you for not showering but look how quickly you blew up when your hygiene was in question. I didnt call you a ***** or use other curse words in what I said. After all, what I said was misinterpreted and what if I was a mother who did in fact let their child cry it out? This is the same as the rice cereal post where people are being judged for not being in comformity. So my choice of cryig it out was wrong but do not call me a ***** because of it.
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  #43  
January 8th, 2013, 02:15 PM
KMH KMH is offline
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I think saying "cry it out" is like yelling "fire" is a movie theatre. It makes people freak out!
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  #44  
January 8th, 2013, 02:18 PM
abur's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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^ I agree Jinnah! I don't know if you ladies have noticed but we are one of the most active and close DDC's/PR's on here and we need to calm down and take a breath. It's easy to get words twisted and read into something that isn't actually there. We are all GREAT moms, that's why we're on a dang mommy site! We care about, love, and do the best we can for our babes. So let's move on from this. No use in getting so serious. Nobody's baby is going to lose brain cells because one of us has left them to cry their eyes out! We don't do that!
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  #45  
January 8th, 2013, 02:18 PM
Jinnah
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Quote:
Originally Posted by michellelove0502 View Post
This isnt even the first post where I have seen her go off at people so im going to let it go and for you to call me a ***** is completely inappropriate. I may not have a farm but I am working on a masters degree, taking care of home, taking care of my child, and working. Im not comparing lives with you but dont try to make it seem like taking a shower is more important to me thany child. I didnt judge you for not showering but look how quickly you blew up when your hygiene was in question. I didnt call you a ***** or use other curse words in what I said. After all, what I said was misinterpreted and what if I was a mother who did in fact let their child cry it out? This is the same as the rice cereal post where people are being judged for not being in comformity. So my choice of cryig it out was wrong but do not call me a ***** because of it.
I'm not liking the bad words, either. Completely unnecessary.
  #46  
January 8th, 2013, 02:26 PM
michellelove0502's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Which is understandable but im being hypothetical now when I say what if I did let Jayden cry until he fell asleep? Should I be judged and told my child is losing brain cells and its a bad parenting choice and I shouldnt out things like that on the internet? No two moms on this site are the same, so when I see things that could possibly be judgemental it makes me mad. And now to know that I was called a b**** that makes it even worse. My point was some people dont get showers some people co sleep with their children some people dont put their children down some people feed their childreb rice cereal and solids before 6 months but none of that is abuse and I dont judge anyone and never have so why should i be cursed at? Theres a lot of stuff I dont agree with because of independency issues and things I have noticed in certain children but Ive never come across a brain dead child because his mother let him cry it out. Not my choice but I really dont think we all have to be so judgemental and I know a lot of it is miscommunication but still, its wrong. There was just a post in the private forum where another young lady got angry because another member gave her advice that she didnt like, it happens but I dont aim to argue with anyone on here. I only want to get along with all of you but I do not like when im judged.

Okay, this is not the first time I have felt judged by you. I am not going to argue with you any longer. Pointing out that not showering in two days in my opinion is poor hygiene because I get two showers a day did not call for you to call me a b**** and was completely ridiculous. But im done with this and im not responding.
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  #47  
January 8th, 2013, 02:32 PM
Pageturner
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You know, cuatx, Michelle and I are not the only ones who have had issues with you. I actually had you blocked for a while because you are so offensive, but I thought I'd give you the benefit of the doubt. But I'll probably just block you again. I'm here for positivity.
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  #48  
January 8th, 2013, 02:42 PM
michellelove0502's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Okay.
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  #49  
January 8th, 2013, 02:44 PM
Jinnah
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Quote:
Originally Posted by cuatx View Post
I would certainly hope at least one person would pipe up with the facts of infants being left to CIO, links to medical information on the topic and suggestions on how to do things differently, because yes, at THIS AGE, that would be a bad and dangerous choice. Infants can, and have, died from being left to cry - they overheat and can have heart attacks. Losing braincells seems tame compared to that, but if anyone tried to justify letting their 1,2,3,4,5 month old cry it out in such a way I would certainly hope every mom in here woudl advocate for that child and help the mother to come to understand what a poor, dangerous, decision that is.

I don't want anyone in here to have to experience that, which is why I mentioned twice that since none of us do that, we should be careful what words we use since it would be a horrible thing to a) have people think you do and b) be judged on in a forum like this. But if someone brought that up and no one mentioned anything, I would consider that a massive failure in our society that we can hear about what is tantamount to infant neglect and abuse and no one did anything about it.

So there. If you call that judgement, fine. I would judge anyone endangering their child. If you or anyone else doesn't like that, you're welcome to get angry and judge me on wanting what is best for everyone's kids out there whether I know them or not. I love kids, I don't want any of themt o have to undergo any sort of mistreatment that can endanger their health in ANY way.
Woah, I've never heard that before. I just don't like crying it out, as it seems mean to me, but I had no idea that could happen.

I do think you should provide the info, but it's important to say things respectfully.
  #50  
January 8th, 2013, 02:46 PM
michellelove0502's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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^^ agreed.
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  #51  
January 8th, 2013, 02:55 PM
Pageturner
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Sorry double post

Last edited by Pageturner; January 8th, 2013 at 03:22 PM.
  #52  
January 8th, 2013, 03:01 PM
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Let's simmer down.

I just re-read everything in this thread and Michelle totally did clarify from her first post what she meant by crying it out, and continued to clarify herself a bunch. I was skimming on my phone and missed when she clarified the first time that she was right there talking to him and giving him a paci, etc.

Like Melissa said, the phrase "crying it out" does get a crazy reaction because it is very controversial and people just get fired up about it. We are all great moms who love our babies and when we start talking about a topic where babies are treated unfairly, we all want to say something. I think it was starting to be a general off track discussion about crying it out, not about how Michelle is a bad mom.

I don't think that people were responding to you personally Michelle, until the last page. I don't think the intention was to scapegoat you either. I honestly think people were just sharing their opinions about crying it out since that's what you called it, and it caused peoples minds to start getting worked up.

I do think we can talk about our differences respectfully. Just because we disagree doesn't mean we are fighting or disliking each other. These discussions can be stimulating, thoughtful, and interesting if we keep them respectful. But I think we have to be careful to not get too personal. I get that Michelle feels offended because she caused a big discussion about something that she doesn't necessarily even do. So I'm sorry for making you feel that way Michelle. I know you're a good mom and I understand that you do not make Jayden cry it out in the true sense of the term.
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Last edited by bostoncreampie; January 8th, 2013 at 03:03 PM.
  #53  
January 8th, 2013, 03:06 PM
ShawnaCAN's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Ben's the same, it's a baby thing. I hold him most of the morning, then he naps in the afternoon for quite awhile, then he wants to be held most of the evening again. I roll with it, it's just what most babies do and they grow out of it sooner or later. He's in his carrier a lot too.

I actually saw this floating around Facebook the other day and it was good reminder for me.
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Last edited by ShawnaCAN; January 8th, 2013 at 03:08 PM.
  #54  
January 8th, 2013, 03:07 PM
michellelove0502's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Thank you Kristen, that means a lot to me. Its just overwhelming because even though i was explaining myself it was going over looked. I think im going to stay away from the topics on advice for a while lol

Nothing I said was justification to call me a b**** that was just completely ridiculous and uncalled for but people can say a lot behind a computer screen.
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Last edited by michellelove0502; January 8th, 2013 at 03:10 PM.
  #55  
January 8th, 2013, 04:37 PM
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I think it's a shame that things got misinterpreted in this thread and that it resulted in name calling. When I logged out last night we were still on page 1...I had a lot of reading to do when I got back on this afternoon LOL! Michelle, you clarified things perfectly multiple times. I knew even from your first post that you probably didn't mean for it to come across as it did initially to many of us. Cuatx, it's fine to feel offended and verbalize it, but it is against JM policy to swear on the forums. I hope we can all move past this, AND that the original poster feels they got the support and advice they wanted/needed!
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  #56  
January 8th, 2013, 05:21 PM
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Holy S H I T this is a 4 page thread?!? Can't wait for my 2am feeding when I have time to read this mess. Hope were all getting along!! Lol
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  #57  
January 8th, 2013, 05:23 PM
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7 pages on my phone.
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  #58  
January 8th, 2013, 06:00 PM
doremi's Avatar Team Blue Mama of Two
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JillMama View Post
Holy S H I T this is a 4 page thread?!? Can't wait for my 2am feeding when I have time to read this mess. Hope were all getting along!! Lol
You obviously haven't read my most recent response about swearing on the forums, oh most colorful language mama
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