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Why can't I make a decision?

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February 5th, 2013, 05:11 AM
Super Mommy
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Virginia
Posts: 781
I still haven't done anything or made a decision regarding continuing EBF, supplementing or FF all together. I make a decision to do something then I back out. One night DH was going to give Kara a bottle of formula and I changed my mind and told him not to. Last night she was trying to comfort nurse all through the night. My nipples are so sore because she is using me as a pacifier and she has two little teeth now or when she latches on my let down takes a minute and she starts pulling away... while still attached. At one point, I detached her without her nursing and gave her her pacifier and she was perfectly fine with that for over an hour. I suggested to DH that we try putting her in another room for a night and see if not being next to me helps but he would rather try a bottle first.

Every time I think about not EBF I think that I'm doing something wrong. Also I'm scared to stop or lessen the amount of feedings because I'm prone to mastitis and don't want to risk getting it again. I've never stopped before... there was always circumstances that made me stop like drying up or baby weaning. Part of my reasons for continuing is because it's good for her and it's something only I can do and if I stop, there is no going back. Other reasons are more selfish... one because formula is expensive and it's a cost that we don't NEED to pay... plus I burn calories while BF and with me still having 29lbs to lose I like the thought of BF helping.

Any suggestions on how to help me make a decision?
Wife to Anthony since March 2004 and Mommy to 3 boys(Blake-6, Owen-4, & Vinny-2) and a little princess, Kara

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February 5th, 2013, 05:35 AM
RunningMommyTo5's Avatar Marathoning Mom to 4!
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Georgia
Posts: 4,443
I would think about trying some of the suggestions you mentioned before abandoning BF all together. Try to have her take the paci, move her in another room at night, etc. If that doesn't work and she's truly hungry overnight and not just needing comfort, then have DH give her a bottle overnight. Can you pump? That will keep you from having to buy formula. I have the same feelings about not wanting to buy what I can produce for free, LOL. So, I pump every morning off one side while she nurses off the other. It helps with the letdown and I get more off the other breast while she's nursing vs just pumping alone. I can get about 6 oz off one side, so it's enough for a bottle a day, should she need it. I use the stash for bottles while she's in the church nursery and I'll use it to make pureed food in a couple of months.

I know it's no help, but only you can decide what's best for you and Kara. For me personally, I start to think about how I'd feel in a few weeks to a couple of months when, like you said, there's no going back (for most women, at least) once the decision is made. I remember how ready I was to be done EBF when my boys weaned themselves and then intensely missing nursing them only a couple of weeks later. I think that I would miss it even more with Bailey being so young, so I've resolved to keep it up. If you think you may miss it, then I would keep it going in some capacity, even if it's only a couple of times a day. She'll get the benefits of the breastmilk, and you'll get the closeness of nursing.

However, if you choose to supplement or FF exclusively, there's nothing wrong with that decision, either! She's almost 5 months old and that's a great amount of time with Kara receiving your milk. If it will be mentally easier on you to supplement or move to formula altogether, then please don't feel any guilt over that. (((hugs))) I know this is a hard decision for you. I hope you find something that works for you and Kara!
*~*~ Katie; Mommy to 3 fun-loving boys, one sweet little baby girl, and #5 on the way! *~*~

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February 5th, 2013, 03:19 PM
jojo2bee's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Colorado
Posts: 2,775
I agree with Katie, try your other options first like the paci and have her sleep in another room. See if any of that helps. I also think you can try pumping, that way she will still receive breast milk, thats what I do with Matthew and that way you dont have to buy the 'un needed' formula. I know its such a hard decision to make, I keep changing my mind a lot to. I originally just wanted to pump and only bottle feed but then decided to try bf and I ended up finding out I really enjoyed the time with him and the closeness. I said I would switch to exclusive pumping when he was a month then 2 then 3 then 4 lol and I still haven't and probably wont either lol.

But take you time on deciding, it is a big decision and one that you cant go back on after its been done you know. But n another note, if giving her a bottle or 2 once in a while will help give you more time for yourself then that is always good thing. We always need some time to ourselves to. *hugs*

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February 5th, 2013, 03:35 PM
Blessed Mommy Of 5's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Indiana
Posts: 4,056
Katie and JoLina both gave excellent advice! I agree with them. You definitely need to do what works best for you and baby Kara. Take your time and experiment until you figure out what works. Just make sure if you decide to stop bf'ing all together, that you're sure that's what you want. Since it can be a permanent decision. We are all here to support you!


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February 6th, 2013, 10:49 AM
Super Mommy
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Virginia
Posts: 781
Thanks ladies! Thanks Katie for the idea of pumping from one breast while she is nursing from the other... I need to start trying that in the morning if she goes long periods at night, or after I get back from the gym since that's at least 3 hours since her last feeding.

I really don't want to give her bottles (unless of expressed milk and only when I have to be gone for appts) and so I'm trying everything I can to avoid it. Last night Kara was up a bunch and at 2am she wouldn't nurse. I emailed DH when I was frustrated and he told me that I need to start giving her bottles that maybe BM isn't enough for her any more. It had only been about 2 hours since I fed her and so after trying for several minutes to get her to nurse and her pulling while latched on, I detached her and gave her her paci and she slept for another 2 hours. (I told DH this when I got up and he said to do what I feel is right). I'm still not sure if it's comfort but it seems like it. Also our room can't seem to stay a good temp at night. She wakes up really stuffy, as do I a lot. I talked to DH and he agreed since he is off this weekend that we can put her in Owen's room, put Owen in with Vinny and try it for 2 nights (that way there is no worry of keeping Blake up when he has school the next day). If she or the boys don't do well then we change back and try something else.

I know DH doesn't want to push me to put her on bottles but I can tell he wants me too since she is up so much and I'm losing sleep. He also worries about why she is doing it like if she is still hungry. Vinny woke up every 2 hours until he was 1 so I keep having to remind myself that her eating frequently doesn't mean she isn't getting what she needs.
Wife to Anthony since March 2004 and Mommy to 3 boys(Blake-6, Owen-4, & Vinny-2) and a little princess, Kara

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February 6th, 2013, 03:02 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jan 2012
Posts: 1,109
I agree with what the ladies above have mentioned I would also like to say that when Aden was four months (THE WHOLE FORTH MONTH) he nursed about every two hours all day and would go 8 hours at night some nights and then 6 hours other nights I was pumping at work and was dipping into my freezer stash to keep up and now in his fifth month of life it is like a switch is flipped. He nurses like every three or more hours and is soooo quick I thought he was quick before but he is quick now. He does still comfort nurse mostly to get to sleep but he seems like a different nursing baby now. I say that you should do what feels right for you and your family.

The only thing that I want you to think about is DON'T QUIT ON A BAD DAY! If you decide that you want to switch to formula do it on a good day so that you know for sure that is what you want to do. Good luck mama IDK if this helped at all or if I just rambled on but good luck

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