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MIL seems determined to find something wrong with baby


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  • 3 Post By mlc52811
  • 1 Post By MarlowesMum
  • 1 Post By Crystallee

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  #1  
February 15th, 2013, 09:43 AM
The Truth is out There
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Seriously, every day this week she has pointed out some non-existant problem. It's like munchausen's syndrome.
Monday- She assured me that baby's poop is wrong color/consistency, and I needed to switch formula right away.
Tuesday- She is certain that baby isn't digesting properly, I need to start probiotics.
Wednesday-She convinced SIL that baby has vision problems, because baby wouldn't focus on anything close to her
Thursday- She told me that baby shouldn't be burping an hour after she last ate, and something is definitely wrong.
Not only that, but she is convinced (I don't know why) that baby is not pooping every day, and that explains her weight gain. I.e. "She is spitting up too much." "Well, she's still gaining weight, so it's not a concern." "She is only gaining weight because she hasn't pooped in several days." My face-

I understand that she is just concerned, but it is really starting to feel like she wants something to be wrong. This only started after I quit BF'ing so maybe it's her weird way of trying to get after me? I've just started ignoring her. 2 month appointment is Monday, I'll ask about my concerns, but I know there's no point in telling MIL, because she is also convinced that our Pediatrician is leading us down the wrong path and has advised us to switch.
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  #2  
February 15th, 2013, 10:09 AM
mlc52811's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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ugh, SUPER aggravating... and the poop thing is funny, cos when young babies don't poop for a few days it's not like it all builds up in there. it's because most of the food is just being absorbed and there isn't really much to get rid of. Anyway, I can understand why you're annoyed, cos I'm annoyed just by reading it!
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  #3  
February 15th, 2013, 10:48 AM
MarlowesMum's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Is this her first grandchild Brittany?

My mom was the same way with DD1. DH and I used to laugh about how bad it was; well, when we weren't ready to shake her in frustration that is. In my case it was compounded by the fact that my mom is a nurse, so she was always going way overboard in her medical "diagnoses". My favorite was the time that she questioned whether Marlowe had severe gastrointestinal issues because she thought she saw blood in her feces. (She didn't. I imagine she mistook something else for blood in the same way that she can't apparently see that she never gets my daughter's bottles actually clean of the oily breastmilk residue...but THAT is another issue.) But it was the same way...always something or another.

I think that as a FTM you are acutely sensitive of these things (or at least I was) because it somehow feels like this person is suggesting that you aren't doing the best job as a parent if you are missing these (non-existant) concerns.

IMO, you just have to ignore them and move on. You know that your child is fine, and as Maggie continues to thrive...they will stop making these comments and start focusing on the more enjoyable aspects of being a grandparent, i.e.: actually interacting with Maggie. And yes...it's totally obnoxious, but also really, really common. I hope it helps to know that at least!
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  #4  
February 15th, 2013, 11:29 AM
mlc52811's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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(three Maggies are involved in this thread)
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  #5  
February 15th, 2013, 11:30 AM
MarlowesMum's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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We need a diagram. Pie chart anyone?
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  #6  
February 15th, 2013, 11:51 AM
The Truth is out There
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That's the funny thing, this is her 10th grandchild. But I have noticed she does it to the other 9 as well. Her daughters are much more easily convinced by her antics so some of the kids are on meds they probably don't need.
But yeah, I just ignore it. She is crazy at times


And woohoo for pie charts! Is it super weird when I talk about baby Maggie? I think it would be if someone had a baby Brittany.
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  #7  
February 15th, 2013, 11:53 AM
Dhartanya's Avatar Paleo Mommy-to-be
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Some people have a "need" for something to be wrong or there to be drama... Could this to be her?
If not, then I bet its a paranoid grandma thing.

Quote:
Originally Posted by mlc52811 View Post
(three Maggies are involved in this thread)
.... I go by Meggie sometimes.... Do I count?
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  #8  
February 15th, 2013, 12:28 PM
MarlowesMum's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Nah...it's not weird. I'm obviously biased, but it's a good name. I can't fault your taste.

Close enough Meghan.
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  #9  
February 15th, 2013, 12:44 PM
Blcooper32's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Mom mom is that way with me and my sisters. She thinks we are all dying of something and should all be on meds of some kind.
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  #10  
February 15th, 2013, 01:16 PM
MarlowesMum's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Well, we're all dying of something...

But seriously, you see the trend here, Brittany? Becoming a grandmother makes formerly sane women go crazy. We can't hold it against them because like it or not, someday it will be our turn.
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  #11  
February 15th, 2013, 03:29 PM
burnbot's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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It does sound really frustrating. She is most likely doing it out of love but hearing it (as a mother) makes you feel like they WANT something to be wrong with baby. I wish I had some advice, but I really don't. HUGS
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  #12  
February 15th, 2013, 05:07 PM
BrooklynBump's Avatar neurotic newbie
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These situations make me almost glad I don't have many family members. I would have told her to shut her trap after the second idiotic diagnosis.
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  #13  
February 16th, 2013, 02:59 PM
Crystallee's Avatar Host of the Dec 2012 PR
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I so agree with sane women turning into psychos when the become Grandmas. Now get into my shoes where you start with someone less than sane and you end up with godzilla for a baby gramma lol.
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  #14  
February 16th, 2013, 04:29 PM
lilemma86's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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sorry your having issues. maybe she wants to be the one "who said it first" kinda thing. like if the baby had vision problems she would have been "right" about it.

on a side note my mil's baby voice is like nails on a chalkboard to me!!!!!!!!!

oh and E is her 10th grand too
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  #15  
February 16th, 2013, 04:33 PM
Crystallee's Avatar Host of the Dec 2012 PR
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My mothers baby talk voice literally makes me want to off myself lol.
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  #16  
February 16th, 2013, 07:10 PM
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Franks mom is schizophrenic so it isn't really an issue for me with her. My mom has actually told me she loves her children more than her grandchildren and generally doesn't have any input. It sounds really frustrating though and I'm sorry
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  #17  
February 17th, 2013, 07:44 AM
Cassie.S's Avatar Sophia's Mommy!
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Sophia is the first grandbaby on both sides for us, and so far I've really lucked out with both moms not getting annoying or giving too much advice or anything like that. I can see how that would get really frustrating. I think you just need to keep ignoring her comments and go with your gut on if you think something is actually wrong or not. But hopefully she'll get the hint soon and quit nagging you about it.
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