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so last night taylr and i really got into it. there was some weird drama that i wont get into but he decided he was going to be all p***y and stay at his friends last night because we were arguing. i told him thats fine but i am putting in our 30 day notice of lease termination on monday. i told him this was stupid and he was being immature that i wasnt even mad just tired and confused and he ignored me but 20 minutes later he came home and we hashed out a lot of our issues. it was actually really good. tuckr was asleep so we were able to talk about everything that has been bothering us and talk about how we are going to make things better. then today i woke up feeling better than i have in a long time. its a beautiful day here, i slept great, and we both have a better out look.
i wrote him a long letter this morning after i thought a lot of things through to better convey my feelings on things and suggested that we take this week and write letters to each other saying things we appreciate about each other and fun times we have had and memories we liked and things we want to do in the fututre and then next weekend we will get a sitter and have a nice dinner and have some fun have a few drinks play some games and then at the end of the night trade our letters and just appreciate each other. its kinda corny but i think it will be a lot of fun.
he also has been doing well with watching tuckr. with family of course. but even when hes home i see him making a better effort with him. i know its still to early to really be anything but still the fact that he is making an effort is a big deal and the fact that he came home last night to deal with our problems instead of staying out all night on his army buddies last night says a lot. he also has put out his resume at a few different places so he is actively looking for a job so fingers crossed. i just hope things continue like this.
but yea thats the update on that.
tuckr has been doing really good. he is standing up on his own like crazy now. its fun to watch him stand up and balance and then try to take those steps. i keep trying to get him on video but he will not cooperate. so much so that i STILL have not gotten a picture of his teeth!!! and hes already getting his top teeth in too. his gums are swollen right up and he has been so drooly and cranky! so thats fun.
things are good. for now. im hoping everything continues to work out.
im not holding my breath, just kinda hoping. but im going to just keep worrying about my baby and doing what needs to be done and if that train includes him awesome but if he cant get his SH** together than so be it. he can giddy on up and giddy on out.
no i meant that if he was going to be that immature than i was going to put in the lease termination so he would have to be moved out and i would take over the lease because i still qualify he doesnt. im not moving out.
i think you've got lots of us in the suspicious camp unfortunately (file my suspicion under "the old as dirt group") but i have never been where you are with a child involved so i can't speak for what i would do. i imagine i would try my ****dest to make it work, as you are doing right now. we just want the best for you!!
Me (34), Hubby (42), DS (2 years) - and baby DD (born on 7.24)!
I get that you want to make it work because of Tuckr. I really do. But honestly, Maddie, it seems like you go round and round with this man (and I use that word lightly because after all the stuff you've told us he's done to you and your son, it's hard to consider him one). You fight, he seems to try for a while, then he's right back to his old self and you and Tuckr suffer for it. You have to think about what's best for your baby right now. The way he treats Tuckr isn't the only thing that is going to affect him. The way he treats YOU will have a big impact on him as well. He'll see it, hear it and feel it all. I think you're on the right track with Taylr having supervised visits and spending time caring for him while family is around, but until he can show you he's matured and ready to be a Father, I honestly think you need to take a step back from him and maybe living together is something you should rethink. You don't want to be forced to live with him if you're fighting at some point and have that negative energy around Tuckr, it would make you miserable
I honestly pray things work out with him in the end, but from what you've said, I can't see it myself. You deserve the best, Maddie. Tuckr deserves the best. If Taylr isn't willing to put his son first, then maybe it's for the best you move past him and start a new chapter in your life with a fresh start.
All the best to you, though. I really do hope he proves us all wrong.
I always struggle if I want to respond to these topics about Taylr because I know how easy it is to judge a bad relationship when you are in a good one and I also know how difficult it is to come to terms with the fact things aren't good with someone you love.
Having BTDT with Daniel's dad (different problems but same going round and round in circles) I just want to offer you love and hugs and say I'll support you and be here to listen whatever happens. Sending all the positive vibes I can your way sweetie, and certainly glad for you that the air has been cleared and you feel better right here and right now. Big xxxxx