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Guidance, help, suggestions, anything! :(

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  • 5 Post By Zukin

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May 9th, 2013, 04:45 PM
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 17
Hey ladies.. so I'm in quite the predicament and don't know what to do.

My bf of 5 years and I have a 6 month old child. I am originally from Hawaii and all my friends/family are back home. Recently I was offered a job in Hawaii and I don't know if I should take it. Everyone tells me I am dumb for turning it down... I need help!

The job is good, especially for Hawaii. I would be making 10K less a year, but would not have to pay rent. Just daycare and my student loan. Here I make good money but majority of it goes to the cost of living (rent, utilities, daycare, etc). I am the primary breadwinner, so I pay for the practically everything. I love my job here, but there isn't much room for growth. In Hawaii, there is.

My relationship with my bf is rough right now. Originally, we planned on moving to Hawaii (I would move first and he would follow later)... then the fighting began. We were just about to break up when I received the job offer. And he received a job offer at the same time, to start in a couple of months. Although we were about to break up, we decided to give it one last shot... and if another fight happens, we call it quits.

Here I have no family support, no friends.... Hawaii I would have the help. My head says take the job, but my heart isn't ready to let go of him..

Now I am completely unsure what to do... start a new life in Hawaii with my son (with my son's dad visiting every 2-3 months) or give our relationship another shot, losing that good job offer??
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May 9th, 2013, 05:43 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Gulf Breeze, FL
Posts: 1,902
Honestly, I would give the job offer a shot, I realize that a relationship and having a father in his life 24/7, but giving a shot for better benefits, income and help back at home is better. If he can't understand that, then you have your answer. Didn't he say he was going to move before the fighting began? If he was true to his word, he wouldn't have a issue with you moving to HI, to better your family.
Thank you *Sharon* for the siggy
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May 10th, 2013, 07:29 PM
Super Mommy
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: michigan
Posts: 533
^^ I agree... Good advice. Good luck!
Missing my little sleeping angel ~ October 17th, 2011 ~ we love you Mychael!

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May 10th, 2013, 10:25 PM
MommyofAngels1985's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Ohio
Posts: 594
I agree with the others. If you decide to not take the job offer and your relationship does take a turn for the worse you will be out a boyfriend, the job offer will more than likely be gone and you will be where you are with your family living and friends in HI. Plus like you said, you will be saving money by not having to pay rent if you take the job offer in Hawaii. Taking the job offer would be best for you and your son and that should be top priority for you . If your bf wants to be with you this shouldn't change anything.
Married to Michael since May 14, 2010
Mommy to Sophie Lee Ann, 02-09-11
Mommy to Melody Beatrice Elizabeth, 09-27-12

Mommy to Abigail Sarah Louise, 1-20-2015

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May 11th, 2013, 05:48 AM
Belita's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Nov 2011
Posts: 12,105
I agree with the others. It sounds like the best thing is to take the job in Hawaii.

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May 12th, 2013, 03:58 AM
Posts: n/a
I agree. Your BF sounds like not really a sure thing...so do what's best for you and baby.
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July 7th, 2013, 11:18 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Gulf Breeze, FL
Posts: 1,902
I'm wondering what the update is, and how are you and baby?
Thank you *Sharon* for the siggy
http://facebook.com/strousephotog2 - My photography Page (Panhandle FL)
http://freshfrogs.wix.com/freshfrog - My Laundry Detergent Business

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