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how invested are the dads?

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June 11th, 2013, 08:54 AM
bostoncreampie's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: May 2007
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I'm curious, how "invested" are the dads around here when it comes to parenting decisions? For the working mothers, do you and the dads share the responsibilities equally or do you still feel like you wear the pants when it comes to the kids? Stay at home moms, do your husbands do things go to doctor appointments with you, or spend time reading parenting books or things online when they aren't at work, or do you take over the parenting role primarily? Do you feel like your parenting relationship is fair or unequal?
mama to 5 yr old DS1 , 3 year old DS2 , and nursling DD .
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June 11th, 2013, 09:01 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Feb 2012
Posts: 1,992
My dh is very invested. He never missed anything at my older dd's school. We take turns going on field trips. We also discuss all major parenting decisions. While she's in school, he is actually the one who gets her off the school bus and does homework until I get home.

He is very invested in Meghan as well, but more just as far as playing with, feeding, etc. He usually does bath at night while I get her jammies out and her bottle ready. He goes to work very early so I get both girls up in the morning and get them ready. I never hesitate to leave them with him. In fact, I have to go to a work conference in a couple of weeks and will be gone Tuesday-Sunday. He is perfectly capable.

As far as housework, I tend to do the dishes, laundry, etc. We have a housekeeper who comes every other week for the major stuff. He takes care of everything outside. He does take out the trash and will load/unload dishes if I specifically ask. Also, he's the better cook =)

I have a great partner, seriously. The girls & I are very blessed
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June 11th, 2013, 10:48 AM
bryan and nina's Avatar Love being a mommy!
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: NC
Posts: 7,574
My dh is starting to be more hands on. I wished that he would've done it without asking but I finally "made" him do story time every evening when I get home with Emmy. I guess sometimes guy need a little push. he reads her a story and changes her into Jammies while I get dinner ready and wash her bottle out etc.

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June 11th, 2013, 02:44 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Oct 2011
Posts: 3,577
DH is ver hands on. He is crazy in love with his little girl! He is desperate to get her to say I love you!

I do most of the care, but he is in charge of bathes. He feels a bit left out during the week because by the time we get home from work and have dinner, Madalyn isn't awake much longer!

I do almost all of the housework. He takes care of the outside (cutting grass/snowblowing). I wish it were more equal, but I don't like waiting for him to do stuff ... I'd rather just do it myself!
| Jessica | Wisconsin | Happily married since 8/22/08 |

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June 11th, 2013, 02:46 PM
marinewife01's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: California
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My hubby is as involved as the military allows him. He can't always be at every school function or every sporting event. He always wants to know whats going on with the kids and we make decisions on everything together.

Kaela-11 Ben-6 Avrey-8 months

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June 11th, 2013, 06:09 PM
GiaTortilla's Avatar FTM to a princess
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Los Angeles, CA
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Caden's been pretty invested since the beginning. Even now that he's working more, he still finds time to play with Riah, especially on weekends. He's pretty good about taking over the night shift, from when he comes home from work, he helps keep her occupied while I make dinner and finish cleaning up. He's the main one to get her to go asleep so I say it is equal, yes.

She has him wrapped around her little finger, he really adores her. He doesn't always make it to doctors' appointments, but he's been good with taking her to day care and picking her up when I'm unable to do so. We have a nice pattern of him taking care of dishes and me getting the laundry Couldn't ask for a better husband.

Gia - young mommy to a beautiful princess and wife to one amazing man.
6.24.10/9.24.12./5.25.13 we're married!
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June 12th, 2013, 04:21 AM
yashobo's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Location: Brisbane, Down under
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My dh was very spoilt when my mom was around. But now that she is not, I am AMAZED at how involved and invested he is. I give dd1 a bath and have her dressed before leaving in the morning. He gets Luyando dressed and drops both off to school and nanny's respectively. I pick them up and start dinner and often given them their bath before he gets back from work, but once he gets back, he keeps them entertained while I do dinner. He washes dishes, cleans the house up, vacuums if needed while I go read them story and nurse Luyando to bed. We then both have some adult time before going to sleep. On weekends too, he is pretty involved. I am most thankful for the initiative he is showing and not waiting for me to ask. He used to wait until I asked in the past; now he does way past what I expect or world do myself. So, he is definitely hands on; grateful to God for that.

Sisters, friends forever
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June 12th, 2013, 08:42 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: May 2012
Location: east coast
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Things are very different for me than most of you because dh and I are both 41 and 43 years old. We see Emma as such a unexpected blessing, surprise in our age after no babies for almost 8 years. I know you ladies see your babies as blessings to but we never thought we could have more children and we knew once we found out we were pregnant we knew this most likely would be our last baby because we are older and my infertility. So we do just about everything together for Emma and usually have an audience around to watch as we still have several kids at home.
Dh works from home. He has 3 jobs now but mostly computer type jobs.So when a kid is sick he takes them to the doctors or we both do. When Emma goes we usually both go and make a fun day of it. LOL He is very hands on with all the children. It was not always like this . We married at 16 and 18 and those were tough times with a one year old and another on the way 2 years later.
He is lucky I "allowed" him to live during those years. LOL..
He also does a bit of the homeschooling and is really enjoying it now that the children are older. He loves all the political debates and funny things they do and say about their ideas on every topic. He is very close with our children and I am a very grateful blessed woman. He does 99% of grocery shopping and cooking.
He used to be gone 2 and a half weeks out of the month for several years and feels so sad that he missed so much. The money was great and allowed us to live a life style that many only dream about. However it was not worth it for our family and we sold everything and he came home full time. Money is so tight at times but we all agree we would not do this any other way as long as we can.Also my dh had to have dialysis several months back for NO reason other than kidneys crapping out so we feel we had a very big wake up call and second chance to do things in this life that matter because death is just a heartbeat away for all of us.......... oh, After several weeks of his kidney failure they are working on their own.
Sonja, mommy to 6 girls & 4 boys
And baby # 11 (GIRL) due Oct 9, 2014
And 4 beautiful grandbabies

Last edited by babymama10; June 12th, 2013 at 08:50 AM.
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June 12th, 2013, 12:16 PM
Mich05's Avatar Veteran
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: canada
Posts: 144
This post almost makes me laugh today... my husband is a teacher (and i think school is out already in the states but he works until June 28) and he ALWAYS slacks off in June. He is usually great in that we are a team to get things done, house, yard, kids. But in June and it has been years, he always just hangs on til July it drives me nuts! he will cut the grass and give the kids baths and not much more.... but at least i know he will start helping again in a few weeks. lol
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June 17th, 2013, 07:26 AM
Summerdays12's Avatar Erin&Aaron's1st!
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: California
Posts: 2,418
Very very invested daddy Jonah has. He is a lucky boy and I'm a lucky wife.

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June 18th, 2013, 07:52 PM
JillMama's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Feb 2012
Posts: 3,819
My husband is very invested He never misses a sporting event, school event etc.... he doesn't make all the Dr appts, but he does go to all the important ones. I would say all the house still is equal. I cook, he cleans the kitchen, we both bath Jett. I do all the night care since I nurse. He helps around the house a ton, and he does all the outside stuff. He is a good one!!!
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Jett 10/11/12 7lb 14.5oz 20.5in long
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