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I'm pregnant by my oldest son's father and he just decided to try to work things out with his youngest son's mother, but he has no plans to tell her. I have no desire to be in a relationship with him and I feel like she should know sooner rather than later so that they can figure out their relationship and so that we are all on the same page. I just want him to be there for his children plain and simple and I want her to know this wasn't planned nor done maliciously. Some of my friends feel as a woman I should speak up and I somewhat feel the same way because I would want someone to show me that respect, but on the other hand I don't want to piss him off and he disappears on his children. A close friend of mine also made a point saying that it's not my place especially since she sat back knowing he wasn't participating in my son's life for a year. Any good woman/mother wouldn't stand for that period because they wouldn't want their own child to go through that. The person that I am would have reached out to the Mom as a woman to try to come together and figure things out. She said I always am caring about folks that haven't gave a **** about me. I'm so lost.
I think it is his responsibility to tell her as well. When I got pregnant with my oldest I had no idea the guy was married (separated) or that she was pregnant but I would never blame her for me not knowing anything. If where you live is anything like where I do the word will get back to her on it's own and she can deal with him then.
It's not your place to tell her. It is his. You can suggest in a somewhat ****** way if you want that he needs to tell her before she finds out and it makes things harder for him in the long run but if it were me I would leave it alone for now. Things have a way of working themselves out