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I am in a very complicated life situation. My 2 year old passed away back in '08, I was very young and my son's dad's family has been very supportive. Him and I have not been together since before he passed away. The big twist is I found out I was pregnant with my almost 4 year old daughter Layla the night of my son's funeral. Her "real" dads family has never been in her life. My son's dad's family (step mom, dad, his 4 sisters) have played a HUGE role in her life. Every other weekend they have wanted her since she was a baby. They never say or act like she is not one of their own. Well, fast forward to now. I am nervous as HECK about telling them I am pregnant again. They know I have been with my boyfriend on and on for 3 years and lived together almost the past year, so although this was unplanned it was definitely a possibility. This sounds like a soap opera. I just don't want them not to be such a big part of my daughters life, because she loves them so much.
I'm so sorry honey. My first baby was stillborn, so I can understand a bit how that feels.
I think that since they love Layla so much and she's not biologically theirs, that a new baby won't make them pull away. Why would they now? Just tell them honestly, and let them know how important they are to Layla's life and that you don't want that to change (since they may worry that YOU don't want them around after the arrival of a new baby). Things will have to change/adjust to accommodate the new little one, but that doesn't mean that feelings will change.
Thank you ladies so much They actually took it pretty well, said they will stand by me and we couldn't change it now even if we wanted to. Its his sisters I was mostly worried about (baby girls aunties as she knows) because in the back of their heart they always wanted me to get back with their brother, and I did too in hopes of us having another child. But as I've grown up I've realized him and I have too much bad history first love or not. And the memory of our son can't be what keeps him and I together. I think as the girls have grown up they see that too a little bit more. I just always feel guilty because that was his ONLY child and I have had one and one on the way since we've lost him. But I can only live for me and my family to be happy.
I am glad it went well for you I have learned that some of the things we worry about the most are actually the easiest. Its those little things that I dont think are going to be issues that blow up on me!!!