Log In Sign Up

Nervous about telling..


Forum: December 2013 Playroom

Notices

Welcome to the JustMommies Message Boards.

We pride ourselves on having the friendliest and most welcoming forums for moms and moms to be! Please take a moment and register for free so you can be a part of our growing community of mothers. If you have any problems registering please drop an email to boards@justmommies.com.

Our community is moderated by our moderation team so you won't see spam or offensive messages posted on our forums. Each of our message boards is hosted by JustMommies hosts, whose names are listed at the top each board. We hope you find our message boards friendly, helpful, and fun to be on!

Like Tree5Likes
  • 4 Post By Nicole1481
  • 1 Post By Brittanie

Reply Post New Topic
  Subscribe To December 2013 Playroom LinkBack Topic Tools Search this Topic Display Modes
  #1  
April 30th, 2013, 07:13 PM
*MaLLoRy*'s Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: TeXaS
Posts: 1,239
I am in a very complicated life situation. My 2 year old passed away back in '08, I was very young and my son's dad's family has been very supportive. Him and I have not been together since before he passed away. The big twist is I found out I was pregnant with my almost 4 year old daughter Layla the night of my son's funeral. Her "real" dads family has never been in her life. My son's dad's family (step mom, dad, his 4 sisters) have played a HUGE role in her life. Every other weekend they have wanted her since she was a baby. They never say or act like she is not one of their own. Well, fast forward to now. I am nervous as HECK about telling them I am pregnant again. They know I have been with my boyfriend on and on for 3 years and lived together almost the past year, so although this was unplanned it was definitely a possibility. This sounds like a soap opera. I just don't want them not to be such a big part of my daughters life, because she loves them so much.
Reply With Quote
  #2  
April 30th, 2013, 07:36 PM
Nicole1481's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Sep 2011
Posts: 1,219
First of all, I'm sorry for your loss. second, I'm sure they will understand, good people usually don't drop you.
__________________

Reply With Quote
  #3  
April 30th, 2013, 08:46 PM
Brittanie's Avatar just me
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Littleton, CO
Posts: 43,573
I'm so sorry honey. My first baby was stillborn, so I can understand a bit how that feels.

I think that since they love Layla so much and she's not biologically theirs, that a new baby won't make them pull away. Why would they now? Just tell them honestly, and let them know how important they are to Layla's life and that you don't want that to change (since they may worry that YOU don't want them around after the arrival of a new baby). Things will have to change/adjust to accommodate the new little one, but that doesn't mean that feelings will change.

Good luck!
*Leah* likes this.
__________________
Thanks to babydoll213 for the siggy! My kids' blog Cora's blog


Reply With Quote
  #4  
April 30th, 2013, 09:57 PM
*MaLLoRy*'s Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: TeXaS
Posts: 1,239
Thank you ladies so much They actually took it pretty well, said they will stand by me and we couldn't change it now even if we wanted to. Its his sisters I was mostly worried about (baby girls aunties as she knows) because in the back of their heart they always wanted me to get back with their brother, and I did too in hopes of us having another child. But as I've grown up I've realized him and I have too much bad history first love or not. And the memory of our son can't be what keeps him and I together. I think as the girls have grown up they see that too a little bit more. I just always feel guilty because that was his ONLY child and I have had one and one on the way since we've lost him. But I can only live for me and my family to be happy.
Reply With Quote
  #5  
May 1st, 2013, 06:14 AM
mommy-of-one's Avatar Veteran
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: KY
Posts: 430
I am glad it went well for you I have learned that some of the things we worry about the most are actually the easiest. Its those little things that I dont think are going to be issues that blow up on me!!!

I am sorry for your loss, I can't even imagine
__________________

Thank you to Peimum for my AMAZING siggy!

Reply With Quote
  #6  
May 1st, 2013, 01:19 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Utah
Posts: 1,304
I'm glad it went to so well!
__________________
.

Thanks Jaidynsmum for my beautiful siggy!



Reply With Quote
  #7  
May 1st, 2013, 01:41 PM
*Leah*'s Avatar TTC the newfashioned way
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 3,440
I'm glad it went well. I agree with Brittanie, they love you ahd your daughter, I don't think that would change.

I, too, am so sorry for your loss. ((HUGS))
__________________
TTC#1 since 10/2006, 5 failed IUI's, 1st IVF successful BFP!! Baby Girl 2/2011
TTC#2 BFP 9/2011, Natural Pregnancy! 3/30/12 M/C'd on 5/15/12 (9 weeks)
IVF#2 BFP 4/2013 M/C 6/2/13 (8 weeks)
FET #1 BFP 8/2013 - Chemical Pregnancy
IVF #3 - Retrieval Oct 31st, Txferred 2 on 5d - a Blast and Morula - Chemical Pregnancy
IVF #4 - ER scheduled for 4/4/14 retrieved 4 eggs. Txferred 3 embryos 4/7/14!....BFN...NOW WHAT?
Check out my NEWBORN Hats and Baby Items
@ http://www.facebook.com/ThePaisleyPerle


Reply With Quote
  #8  
May 1st, 2013, 04:35 PM
Brittanie's Avatar just me
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Littleton, CO
Posts: 43,573
Quote:
Originally Posted by *MaLLoRy* View Post
I just always feel guilty because that was his ONLY child and I have had one and one on the way since we've lost him. But I can only live for me and my family to be happy.
I think part of that will always be the mommy-grief-guilt. But like you said, that's not your responsibility.
__________________
Thanks to babydoll213 for the siggy! My kids' blog Cora's blog


Reply With Quote
Reply

Topic Tools Search this Topic
Search this Topic:

Advanced Search
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off



All times are GMT -7. The time now is 03:05 AM.



Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Optimization by vBSEO 3.6.0