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Forum: December 2013 Playroom

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  • 1 Post By feythful

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  #1  
June 5th, 2013, 01:04 PM
HorseGal's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: Kansas
Posts: 4,719
I finally just told all my close friends and the family and I'm 14 weeks tomorrow. I'm having a hard time. The "oops" or "surprise" factor of this baby is really weighing on me.

My first was in wedlock and planned. So I did so much better sharing the news compared to this time. I'm excited about the baby, just not all the attention that comes with pregnancy and the looks or comments because it was an accident. I dread going out in public because I can't hide it. I just want to skip this part where everyone finds out.
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  #2  
June 5th, 2013, 01:15 PM
kara74's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Feb 2011
Posts: 2,389
I've told my family and a few friends and co-workers. I'm waiting until after my next appt. to tell my office manager and atty I work directly for. I don't really care who knows at this point but I didn't want to tell work ppl too early.

Even married gals have oops and surprise babies. This one was definitely a surprise for me.
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  #3  
June 5th, 2013, 01:27 PM
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Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: WY AND PA
Posts: 1,763
I havent told very many. The fiance's family knows and a few close friends and my co worker and boss know but thats bout it. I wasnt going to tell my mom til she came to visit in 2 weeks, but i needed my mom so i told her over the phone, but she hasn't told anyone else in my family, figured that is up to me, so when i go home to pennsylvania in a month i am going to tell the rest of my family. As bad as i want to tell them i am keeping it back. I just don't feel its right to tell them over the phone 30 hrs away. I hated telling my mom over the phone, but i needed my mom and had so many questions for her as this is really my first. I was pregnant before but due to emergency surgery the doctors did a medical termination to save me.
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  #4  
June 5th, 2013, 01:28 PM
redbirds's Avatar Blessed Again!
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: CO
Posts: 18,447
I'm sorry for the hard time people might give you. They have no right, no matter what. ((HUGS)) Those that matter, shouldn't mind. Those that mind, shouldn't matter

Add me to another surprise baby! We haven't told anyone... well, we did tell the kids yesterday and my oldest is over the moon. DS is excited, but I don't think he gets it yet. The youngest is only 1 and she's beyond clueless

We're in the midst of designing a little card to send out to people, so word should be out in a week or two!
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Hat's off to Vicki for my cute siggy, thank you!
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  #5  
June 5th, 2013, 02:18 PM
hugssandi's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: May 2013
Location: USA
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If you've read my crazy posts you'll know I've only told those I'm very comfortable with~the very closest of friends I know won't rob me of peace. This excludes family, and I'm totally serious in that they will know by fb message about the birth of baby ~insert name~ unless they figure it out for themselves sooner. I'm heavy enough that they probably won't.

Family stopped coming by after baby one and/or two and took months to even invite us for a visit to see us and our wee one. They will most likely NOT be happy about it, save my Aunt-in-law who did figure it out with a smile and a congratulations hug. I was so blessed, as that will NOT be my parents' reaction~LOL!

ETA that my last birth no one even visited me in the hospital. Not ONE person!
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More people fail from a lack of encouragement than anything else!~ Mrs. James Hendry

I'm a Mary in a world of Marthas~Carol Barnier

I think you are too kind. Kind people give the people around them a hard time. You can't express yourself honestly, because you are worried about hurting other people's feelings, and that makes you miserable.~"Winter Sonata"

Last edited by hugssandi; June 5th, 2013 at 02:26 PM.
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  #6  
June 5th, 2013, 02:21 PM
Expecting our 1st and 2nd
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 983
I've only told close family, a few friends, my bosses, and a couple of coworkers. I have my ERA scan next friday, so I plan on telling everyone after that. A lot of my coworkers have been whispering about it, so I'll be glad to finally shut them up.

I'm so sorry you're having a hard time. Every baby is a gift and a miracle. Don't feel bad about celebrating this wonderful moment!
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  #7  
June 5th, 2013, 03:58 PM
strong mama <3
Join Date: May 2013
Location: Long Island, NY
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A surprise baby for me too! I've told close family and friends but my DH is dying to make a big announcement (via FB or whatever) but this time I'm nervous about it and don't feel the need for the whole world to know...I've already gotten the "omg, another one so soon?" "you guys are so young and already on number three" "did you plan this??" My family is 100% support but as far as everyone else I don't need their annoying comments!

at the end of the day, YOUR happiness is all that matters!
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  #8  
June 5th, 2013, 04:14 PM
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I only told close family. And two friends, not looking forward to the comments at all
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  #9  
June 5th, 2013, 05:02 PM
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Join Date: Jun 2013
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Surprise baby for us too! But of course, we're thrilled and overjoyed. We've only told close family and friends as well, but I was so excited that I let it slip to a coworker the other day. She was a little rude and it made me feel bad about being so impulsive. I feel bad that I shared something so special with someone undeserving, but I'm so excited!

It's a lesson learned. Don't feel bad if people don't respond positively, and even are rude about it. Just know that your little one is lucky to have someone who loves them so much already.
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  #10  
June 5th, 2013, 07:02 PM
swade66's Avatar My friends call me HIRB.
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Sewickley, PA
Posts: 39,230
I got pregnant sooner than I expected...I was afraid to tell our family because we have two already in a SMALL two bedroom apartment. I knew what was coming...You need to move now! As if we don't know.

Anyway, we told everyone and only my mom couldn't keep her mouth shut. Everyone else was happy first then said we need to move.

We haven't said anything on FB yet but all my friends and family we see regularly know. I also had to tell work when I had to leave work to go to the ER.
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  #11  
June 5th, 2013, 09:06 PM
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And I'm not ready for the " I hope it's not another boy" comments. Ugh
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  #12  
June 6th, 2013, 08:01 AM
CA-mommy-to-be's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Me! I'll be 11 weeks on Friday. We've only told 6 people so far. We will tell our parents in two weeks.
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  #13  
June 6th, 2013, 09:49 AM
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Not out yet. Still haven't told work on any of my family. We just told my husband's family yesterday. Maybe this weekend? idk.
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December 3, 2013 at 433 pm
7 lbs 6 oz, 21 inches
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  #14  
June 6th, 2013, 07:06 PM
HorseGal's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Location: Kansas
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Hugsandi- omg what is the deal with your family?!?! I'm so sorry you sound like you have no support. :-/



Thanks everyone for your words. It helps. I just can't seem to take the leap to tell people yet. I really just need to rip off the band aide
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  #15  
June 7th, 2013, 02:58 AM
hugssandi's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I don't even know where to start, HorseGal.

Okay, let me just EDIT TO ADD that they're not all bad. I don't have much support, and won't get any for a new baby. But there are ways they have begun to try. Sometimes it's anxiety-producing after so long, because we've had to make it on our own for so long, and I tried A LOT. But they're not all bad.
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More people fail from a lack of encouragement than anything else!~ Mrs. James Hendry

I'm a Mary in a world of Marthas~Carol Barnier

I think you are too kind. Kind people give the people around them a hard time. You can't express yourself honestly, because you are worried about hurting other people's feelings, and that makes you miserable.~"Winter Sonata"

Last edited by hugssandi; June 7th, 2013 at 08:47 AM.
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  #16  
June 7th, 2013, 04:22 AM
Veteran
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: ontario, canada
Posts: 312
Quote:
Originally Posted by kara74 View Post
I've told my family and a few friends and co-workers. I'm waiting until after my next appt. to tell my office manager and atty I work directly for. I don't really care who knows at this point but I didn't want to tell work ppl too early.

Even married gals have oops and surprise babies. This one was definitely a surprise for me.

Agreed!!!!! this baby for us is a big surprise
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  #17  
June 7th, 2013, 05:27 AM
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Join Date: Aug 2010
Posts: 1,230
We only told a couple of close friends at the very beginning. (this wasn't planned for us either!) AND just a few days ago we finally told both sets of parents and then a day or two after that we posted it on FB for everyone else. I don't want all the questions from people so it's a good thing I'm very busy at work and don't see people anyway.
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  #18  
June 7th, 2013, 06:34 AM
feythful's Avatar Proud Dec '13 DDC Co-host
Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 4,923
I'm so sorry that it's hard right now. Remember that in 7 months, no one will care that the baby was out of wedlock or a surprise because there will be a beautiful baby here. If they do still care, they're not important enough to be in your life. My best friend got pregnant right after her lengthy divorce was finalized and she got married right away because her traditional family was appalled that she was having a baby out of wedlock. Her mom was all afraid that everyone would do the math when the baby was born and figure out that she was 2-3 months pregnant at the time. To this day, I don't think anyone has bothered to say anything and they love her little girl like crazy.

I had people who mentioned birth control every time I told her them we wanted a third baby within 3 years. I stopped talking to one "friend" after Josie was born and she said "So this time you think you'll give birth control a try, or just keep poppin' 'em out." Look lady, none of your business. Not your body, not your family, not your finances...so shut up.
hugssandi likes this.
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  #19  
June 7th, 2013, 07:15 AM
strong mama <3
Join Date: May 2013
Location: Long Island, NY
Posts: 111
Quote:
Originally Posted by NCRG2010 View Post
And I'm not ready for the " I hope it's not another boy" comments. Ugh
Ughh same with me!! EVERYONE so far has been like "I hope its finally a girl!" great so now if its a boy I know pretty much everyone is disappointed!
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