Log In Sign Up

Is there anyone who...


Forum: December 2013 Playroom

Notices

Welcome to the JustMommies Message Boards.

We pride ourselves on having the friendliest and most welcoming forums for moms and moms to be! Please take a moment and register for free so you can be a part of our growing community of mothers. If you have any problems registering please drop an email to boards@justmommies.com.

Our community is moderated by our moderation team so you won't see spam or offensive messages posted on our forums. Each of our message boards is hosted by JustMommies hosts, whose names are listed at the top each board. We hope you find our message boards friendly, helpful, and fun to be on!

Like Tree44Likes

Closed Topic Post New Topic
  Subscribe To December 2013 Playroom LinkBack Topic Tools Search this Topic Display Modes
  #1  
June 15th, 2013, 06:28 PM
Regular
Join Date: Apr 2013
Posts: 71
is NOT doing genetic testing? Seems like it's so rare not to get these tests done for abnormalities. I've refused with all my pregnancies because I knew that I would keep the baby no matter what. This isn't me being judgmental I am just honestly wondering if I am the only one who doesn't do these tests. My doctor even told me I had to decide by my next appt so "we can terminate if need be" - his words. I guess it would be nice to be prepared if something was wrong but I would worry too much and cry and stress myself out so I would rather just deal with it down the line if I had to.
  #2  
June 15th, 2013, 06:39 PM
hugssandi's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: May 2013
Location: USA
Posts: 2,033
I never have and will not be this time (at 41), for the very same reason. I don't want to lose sight of the fact that I'm having a beautiful baby, no matter what, and I know I would STRESS over any abnormality.

I think it's best for some to know, because they do a lot of research beforehand that is helpful after birth. That's just no me! LOL!
__________________
More people fail from a lack of encouragement than anything else!~ Mrs. James Hendry

I'm a Mary in a world of Marthas~Carol Barnier

I think you are too kind. Kind people give the people around them a hard time. You can't express yourself honestly, because you are worried about hurting other people's feelings, and that makes you miserable.~"Winter Sonata"
  #3  
June 15th, 2013, 07:37 PM
Brittanie's Avatar just me
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Littleton, CO
Posts: 43,568
I didn't get any actual genetic testing. I got the NT scan, to look for soft markers, mostly because I wanted another look at my baby. But it's not just whether to terminate or not. I know several people who saw that the baby may have issues, which at birth required surgery (one with spina bifida, and another couple with rarer issues) once the baby was born, and all had early deliveries in specialized hospitals because the baby required it. And they were able to get that all arranged beforehand because of early testing and gave those babies the best chances for as normal a life as possible. So while I'm fairly certain if there had been an issue with Rolo (thankfully s/he looks healthy) I wouldn't have terminated, I would have wanted to be able to watch any side issues as closely as possible. In my mind, knowledge is power. The more I know, the better a decision I can make.
__________________
Thanks to babydoll213 for the siggy! My kids' blog Cora's blog


  #4  
June 15th, 2013, 07:44 PM
ChicaChels's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: I'm a husker girl :)
Posts: 16,335
I do the quad screen at 16w. I would not terminate but if I needed to make special arrangements, etc. I would want to know. I would also want to prepare my other children for any upcoming obstacles our family may face.
__________________

Maverick Jude
December 9, 2013
5:20PM 8lb3oz 20.5"
Hospital water birth
  #5  
June 15th, 2013, 09:23 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Dec 2009
Posts: 4,694
I did because its my fifth child, and I can't deal with surprises. I could say I wouldn't terminate but that would be lying because until you are facing that situation you can't possibly say what you would do, regardless of how much you swear up and down you wouldn't. I just like to know what is happening in case the baby will need special attention at birth I would like to be in a hospital that can handle my needs. My local hospital can not so that is a big deal for me. Also it would give me a chance to explain to the kids if there was an issue.
__________________
  #6  
June 15th, 2013, 09:49 PM
lily26's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Canada
Posts: 1,071
I didn't really care to do it, but my s/o wanted too... so we're getting it done.
__________________


Mommy to my little Butterfly Vanyah, born at 34 weeks and 2 days.
2lbs and 14oz on November 19th, 2013 at 2:31am.
Have never been so in love before.
  #7  
June 15th, 2013, 09:55 PM
Leogirl's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Tennessee
Posts: 3,163
I do every test they offer me. If anything is wrong I want to know as soon as possible so that I can do research and have time to make appropriate choices.
redbirds and ErinBoshnyak1985 like this.
__________________



  #8  
June 16th, 2013, 03:44 AM
Papasgirl's Avatar Down Syndrome Pregnancy
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: Boston, Ma
Posts: 4,503
I am and always have done it. I did it with my first six because honestly I just wanted the heads up. Plus, it got me more ultrasounds. Now that I have had four losses, all supposedly due to chromosomal abnormalities and old eggs, I am doing it to be safe. I would not ever terminate but I would want to be totally prepared for whatever the baby would need before it is born. I have my NT scan next Friday and I am scared to death
__________________
Stefanie, Wife to Paul, Mom to cailyn (13), caleigh (12), cameron (11) christopher (8), Lilly (3) and Emma(2) and Staci born 12/19/13
3/12/12 5/9/12 7/05/2012 1/24/13

Baby Girl Anastasia is my Rainbow!! Diagnosed with T21...
We will journey together
  #9  
June 16th, 2013, 04:52 AM
HorseGal's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: Kansas
Posts: 4,719
I don't because I'm not high risk and it wouldnt change anything for me. I made the decision to make this child and I'll be here for it no matter what i get. If I wasn't prepared for that then i wouldn't have made it.
__________________
  #10  
June 16th, 2013, 05:57 AM
SurferRosa's Avatar Doing it all over again
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Vancouver Island, BC Canada
Posts: 130
Ummm, first I apologize about being blunt but I can't help it. I find this post was done at a bad time due to our member "mama2boys" of what she's going through during this rough time. I just find it very insensitive and insulting. IMO, it is a very judgmental post and some of the comments too, right after knowing what someone else is going through and the tough decision she has to make. We are supposed to be supportive.
__________________
  #11  
June 16th, 2013, 05:59 AM
strong mama <3
Join Date: May 2013
Location: Long Island, NY
Posts: 111
theres a lot more to it then whether to terminate or not....its really the best way to educate yourself... with my sons diagnosis of down syndrome and heart abnormalities he would need special doctors, surgeries...all of that I would be prepared for because I had a heads up- I would have time to research doctors and therapies etc. and start to get things in place and educate myself and my family on what life would be like....also meet with other families that are dealing with the same situation etc.

having a baby and bringing a newborn home is such a stressful time as it is, I can't imagine adding on so many more unknowns- your child being rushed into a surgery you know nothing about, with doctors you don't know... having to rush into decisions like therapies etc. because you don't have the time to really research and plan things out...

and everyone might say they wouldn't terminate, but like other mothers have said- you NEVER know until you are in the position. Many times along with a diagnosis of abnormalities comes many other ideas, like along with my sons down syndrome we can already see he is having heart issues and that the fluid is building up fast... its not about just whether or not you would "want" or "could" handle a child with a disability, sometimes its about quality of life for that child- who will be sick all the time (if he did make it to birth, which my doctor said wasn't a good chance)....
redbirds, feythful and NCRG2010 like this.
  #12  
June 16th, 2013, 06:04 AM
strong mama <3
Join Date: May 2013
Location: Long Island, NY
Posts: 111
thank you SurferRosa... I was extremely insulted reading this...and also though it was VERY insensitive to write this post two seconds after commenting on mine. and all of you who were so supportive in my post come right over here and be so judgmental as if I can't read it.....
Jodimarie and SurferRosa like this.
  #13  
June 16th, 2013, 06:14 AM
anybodyinthere's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 3,286
I agree that this post is in poor taste and the similairity of names was not lost on anyone. NOT the time or place!
feythful and mama2boys like this.
__________________


  #14  
June 16th, 2013, 06:18 AM
kara74's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Feb 2011
Posts: 2,389
I can't believe people are so nasty and hurtful especially when someone is having to make one of the hardest decisions of their life. That being said, I absolutely get any and all testing I can because I am 39 and at higher risk for birth defects. I also cannot say I wouldn't terminate if, God forbid, this baby ended up with Downs or any other trisomy. I hope I never have to be in the position to make that decision. I wish no one else had to either. I completely support mama2boys in her decision because it's the right one for HER.

Ugh such nasty judgmental people on this board.
mama2boys likes this.
__________________



  #15  
June 16th, 2013, 06:18 AM
anybodyinthere's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 3,286
And, btw, I have reported this to the mods...
__________________


  #16  
June 16th, 2013, 06:20 AM
strong mama <3
Join Date: May 2013
Location: Long Island, NY
Posts: 111
Quote:
Originally Posted by anybodyinthere View Post
I agree that this post is in poor taste and the similairity of names was not lost on anyone. NOT the time or place!
Thank you... I am extremely disappointed that someone on this board would have such little respect for the feelings of a fellow mother going through an extremely difficult time...shame on you mama_2boys!!
  #17  
June 16th, 2013, 06:37 AM
n8tsmomma's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Jun 2011
Posts: 918
I get the testing done because I want to know in advance. I would like to think I would keep carrying the baby but having two other kids and never being in that situation before I really can't say. I would not want my baby to suffer and that would be a really big deciding factor for me. I also find this post in poor taste even if you say you're not judging the fact you have to say that means you knew how others would see it before you posted.
__________________


  #18  
June 16th, 2013, 06:44 AM
HonestMamma's Avatar Bish!
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Cyberspace, the Interwebz
Posts: 1,830
Describing this thread as being in "poor taste" is being nice. This was down right rude. I was just checking in on friends from my PR who are in here and I saw this abomination. I really hope the OP gets an infraction for this. How awful. I can't even imagine having to struggle with such a personal decision and having someone be THIS callous. I am aghast.
feythful and mama2boys like this.
__________________



  #19  
June 16th, 2013, 07:36 AM
hugssandi's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: May 2013
Location: USA
Posts: 2,033
I haven't seen one judgmental remark in this thread and nothing that refers to our dear DDC sister. It's a natural question, and a difference of opinion of what one would do themselves does not equal judgment! If anything, I think the subject is on the forefront of the minds of mommies who are concerned for their own situations as well. Such a tragic event hits very close to home right now, and I'm sure it's left all with unsurety (sp). In NO WAY does anyone's opinion take away sincere sadness felt for our DDC sister!!!
__________________
More people fail from a lack of encouragement than anything else!~ Mrs. James Hendry

I'm a Mary in a world of Marthas~Carol Barnier

I think you are too kind. Kind people give the people around them a hard time. You can't express yourself honestly, because you are worried about hurting other people's feelings, and that makes you miserable.~"Winter Sonata"
  #20  
June 16th, 2013, 07:39 AM
feythful's Avatar Proud Dec '13 DDC Co-host
Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 4,923
I just don't even know where to start
__________________
Wife to sweet husband Jeff and mother to 2 beautiful girls: Emily (2) and Jocelyn (1).

Closed Topic

Topic Tools Search this Topic
Search this Topic:

Advanced Search
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off



All times are GMT -7. The time now is 10:03 AM.



Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Optimization by vBSEO 3.6.0