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weighing on my heart....


Forum: December 2013 Playroom

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  #21  
June 25th, 2013, 09:55 AM
kara74's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Feb 2011
Posts: 2,389
Thankfully, we're almost past the point of genetic testing now. A few more weeks and everyone who is going to do it, will have done it and we can move on, hopefully.
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  #22  
June 25th, 2013, 10:03 AM
feythful's Avatar Proud Dec '13 DDC Co-host
Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 4,923
Quote:
Originally Posted by swade66 View Post
Here is the issue. If we keep having people jumped all over because the reader didn't sit back and think about what was posted before jumping to conclusions then we aren't going to have anyone left in the DDC. That's all I am saying.
And how do you suppose that this should be accomplished? I absolutely think you're right. We have highly opinionated, hormonal women involved and text that cannot fully express tone or intention. While I generally assume the best in most posts and attempt to stay objective on the emotional ones that don't affect me, even I have been known to jump on someone and then apologize later. So what would you suggest?
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  #23  
June 25th, 2013, 10:52 AM
swade66's Avatar My friends call me HIRB.
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Sewickley, PA
Posts: 39,230
My only suggestion is to advise everyone to reread something they think may be offensive. If you are still offended the second time around maybe send a PM to the poster.

I don't think you can stop all drama but of someone has otherwise never offended you (isn't typically a giant pot stirrer) then PMing that person rather than blasting them on the board is the more mature route. Of course there are those people who will constantly post controversial stuff and feel free to blast away at them.

Again...just my opinion.
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  #24  
June 25th, 2013, 10:55 AM
Oriyan's Avatar Platinum Superdupermommy
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: I am a stranger in a strange land.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kara74 View Post
Thankfully, we're almost past the point of genetic testing now. A few more weeks and everyone who is going to do it, will have done it and we can move on, hopefully.
Ah the joy of DDCs. Next will come the arguments about diapers, formula, elective c-sections, car seats, crib bumpers and the so forth
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  #25  
June 25th, 2013, 10:58 AM
summerbaby1's Avatar Veteran
Join Date: Apr 2013
Posts: 394
Just my thoughts, but this reminds me of when DF and I get into a fight and it turns out to be a misunderstanding...we're learning instead of firing back at what offended us to take a step back for a second and say "ok this is what I heard on my end....is this how you meant that??!" And 9 times out of 10 it diffuses what ever offense has occurred between us and we can talk about it. Just thought I'd throw that out there, it's helped me a lot.
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  #26  
June 25th, 2013, 11:22 AM
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Join Date: Dec 2009
Posts: 4,694
I think people feel strongly about certain things and don't stop to think before they write. How about a little pause and say if I word it this way will the people who have chosen to do testing take it the wrong way? *sometimes* people write things they believe like it is fact. And we'll we all know how that goes over.
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  #27  
June 25th, 2013, 11:26 AM
kara74's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Posts: 2,389
Yikes lol!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Oriyan View Post
Ah the joy of DDCs. Next will come the arguments about diapers, formula, elective c-sections, car seats, crib bumpers and the so forth
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  #28  
June 25th, 2013, 11:38 AM
swade66's Avatar My friends call me HIRB.
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Location: Sewickley, PA
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I guess it is just going to happen. There are going to be fights and there is going to be drama. I am sure I will start and participate in my share of it.

Except for the above mentioned. I am sure i will be the one defending myself on car seats when i turn my kid at a year.
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  #29  
June 25th, 2013, 11:44 AM
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I love the debates! Not! FYI there is a debate board. I suggest going there when you feel the need to step on a soap box.
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  #30  
June 25th, 2013, 07:52 PM
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I have missed a lot of the previous postings when they were happening and apparently this original post as the mama deleted it? I just wanted to add this:

We are all hormonal and for the most part every one of us believes our views are the right ones (even if you don't want to admit that). I have to say I think one thing that would help in this cases is to have some empathy for the poster instead of jumping to conclusions about their intent behind the post. This is a due date club and mama's should feel free to discuss everything related to that including testing. Should we all try to be sensitive in our postings? OF COURSE! However I think we all need to step back for a second and try to empathize with the poster as well as the ones it offends. We should also stop to think that sometimes it is hard to convey your own valid feelings while keeping the feelings of others in your line of sight.

We really should try to give each other the benefit of the doubt and try to stop feeling attacked by another mom. We are all here for the same reason...support....and that should mean support for ALL areas not just the ones we feel are appropriate topics for us to discuss. For me that might be X for you it might be Y.

I really have taken the stance of trying to not be so defensive in this group but instead try to understand where the other mama is coming from. I tend to think that obviously a need is being met by the members on here that they might possibly be not getting anywhere else in their lives. Are there ones who like to start trouble? Yep but I honestly haven't seen it in this group.

Sorry this is so long!
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  #31  
June 26th, 2013, 04:27 AM
Papasgirl's Avatar Down Syndrome Pregnancy
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: Boston, Ma
Posts: 4,503
I am one of the women here that really has no one besides DH to talk to. I joined JM for that very reason. My mom and dad have passed and my sister has become very distant over the past 5 years, as have my brothers. I have no real friends to speak of anymore. With 6 kids, a DH that works odd hours and no free time, I don't have time to go hang out or even be on the phone. My JM time is 5-6am before all the kids are awake. Pregnancy is an amazing tide of happiness, sadness, fear and excitement. It makes it feel very lonely when there is no one to talk to, especially if something may be going wrong. Yes hearing about poor genetic testing results is hard to read and now I am in the category myself and have found myself NOT coming to JM any longer for support with this. I had the MaterniT21 test do e yesterday and have no one to discuss my fears with now! JM is filled with women who have fears... Can't get pregnant, pregnant too soon, miscarriages, and all sorts of hard issues to live through and to read about. I thought that was the point if JM... SUPPORT! So what is the Due Date Club about then... Giggling over recipes and baby names... Sure that is part of it, but not every pregnancy is a breeze and not every woman is having an easy go of it. I hope we are still able to have serious discussions here, otherwise I really have no where to turn. This was not meant to offend anyone, just posting my thoughts.
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  #32  
June 26th, 2013, 07:10 AM
hugssandi's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: May 2013
Location: USA
Posts: 2,033
I joined JM for support as well. My past DDC's were amazing, and I was wanting that same camaraderie.
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