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I'll bet it's a boy!!! (rant)


Forum: December 2013 Playroom

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  • 1 Post By feythful

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  #1  
July 30th, 2013, 05:55 AM
feythful's Avatar Proud Dec '13 DDC Co-host
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If I hear this one more time, I might puke. You know, because 2 girls is just not a life fulfilled, and 3 girls might be the end of the world. I'm sure the people saying it think it's innocent enough, but those of us already working through some gender anxiety (and potential disappointment) just want to punch them in the face.

I have noticed that it has only been said by people who had at least one of each gender or have never had children at all. Those with one of each just might be hoping to share the excitement of varied experiences. I have yet to hear it from someone who had all of one gender. Maybe because they felt the same way I do? Maybe because they don't seen the need to have both genders since their family is awesome without it.

Maybe it's the 6 hours of sleep talking, but I'm a little feisty. Maybe I'll avoid Facebook for the rest of the day.
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  #2  
July 30th, 2013, 06:18 AM
blakesgirl09's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I'm with you honey!! I'm not sure of your preference this go round but I can tell you my story. When I was pregnant the first time, we were completely convinced that we were having a boy. After all, my ex husband came from a family of ALL boys, including twin brothers, there was no way we couldn't have a boy! When we reached 21 weeks and finally had our anatomy scan, and there was no junk, I was completely devastated. It took me a good month to get over the disappointment. She now, is almost 7 and by far the best thing that I've ever done! So this time, new husband and all, again, we are completely convinced that it's a boy, well.......HE'S completely convinced it's a boy. After all, he comes from a family of ALL boys. Well I know how this works cause I've BTDT, Remember? I told myself it was another girl and I was completely fine with that for some reason. We went for the early anatomy scan at 15 weeks and he was definitely ALL BOY. DH was ECSTATIC!! I wont say that I was disappointed per say, but maybe I was a little. I know little girls, I know how to take care of little girls. I don't have to worry about circumcision or her peeing on me at any given moment. I KNOW LITTLE GIRLS!!! I don't know little boy's, what am I going to do? I guess I have 18 more weeks to figure it out but until then, I'm here to support you and tell you that I think there will be a little disappointment with whichever way it goes, there are such wonderful things about both, but in the end, it's the way it was meant to be.
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  #3  
July 30th, 2013, 06:47 AM
Brittanie's Avatar just me
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Being that I have at least one of each, I kind of get where they're coming from. It's very different to be a parent of a boy than it is to be a parent of a girl. Not just from parental expectations of gender, but just because boys are so different. Each is fun in its own way.

But, in the end, it is what it is already. You don't have control over that, and you will love your child no matter what, so why make a big deal out of it? Not having both isn't some kind of "failure." I'm sure that stems from the cultural bias toward boys and needing a male heir and blah blah blah blah blah. But it isn't that way now, and little girls are just fabulous to have around. lol And you know what? Each CHILD is unique and fun and different outside of just their sex, so it's not like you'll be missing something HUGE if you don't have both.
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  #4  
July 30th, 2013, 06:53 AM
Samantha- Loving my baby♥
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Ugh I hear ya! I don't even have any other children and people are saying well, it could change. Wow,I didn't know humans could magically change gender I'm over the moon happy about our little boy!
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  #5  
July 30th, 2013, 07:15 AM
redbirds's Avatar Blessed Again!
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I just remind people (especially if they are more connected to DH than to me) that it was DH's job to choose the gender That keeps them quiet...

I'm sorry these comments are still going on! It's unfortunate that people can't see the value of girls AND boys. They are very different and have wonderful unique strengths AND they are very different personalities, no matter the gender.

Shame on them I wish I had a wonderful quip to come back with, but I don't. Maybe someone a bit more creative can come up with something
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  #6  
July 30th, 2013, 07:24 AM
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People say stupid crap! I love having both! My girl is my sanity in this crazy house of boys....but boys are so close to their mommas
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  #7  
July 30th, 2013, 07:31 AM
Kelizah's Avatar Veteran
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I feel like people can be so rude when it comes to gender. especially if you're feeling a bit of gender disappointment. to be honest, i wanted a little girl-deep down. I was happy he was a boy, but I just couldn't picture having a little man growing inside me. so when people would give my husband high fives, or say things like "now you only have to worry about one pecker instead of a bunch" or "good job! a boy on your first try" id get SO flipping mad! whats so wrong with having a baby girl!?!?!
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  #8  
July 30th, 2013, 07:56 AM
kara74's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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When I was pregnant with DS2 everyone said he would be a girl or would ask, are you hoping for a girl? When I was pregnant with DD everyone outside my family assumed I was dying for a girl and needed a girl. I did want a girl just to know what it was like to be a mother to a girl but I didn't mind if she ended up being a boy. Practically everyone in my family was hoping she would be a boy because they were used to boys. This time around everyone was saying this one will be a girl, Sofia needs a little sister, etc. Well except my boys and husband, they were hoping this one would be a boy. The comments don't bother me because mostly they're harmless. I can see how they would bother someone who already had issues about wanting one gender over another.

I have friends/acquaintences who have all girls or all boys and don't mind it at all and actually prefer it. Particularly the ones that have all girls.
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Last edited by kara74; July 30th, 2013 at 08:00 AM.
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  #9  
July 30th, 2013, 08:44 AM
lily26's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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i think people forget that pregnant women have thesee hormones so when they make their stupid little quips to be funny or to make jabs at that its not funny or cute,

I dont even have another kid, and I haven't even had the anatomy scan yet but allready people are asking me what my instincts are. i say girl. and then giving me all the reasons that it will be a boy instead.
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  #10  
July 30th, 2013, 08:53 AM
feythful's Avatar Proud Dec '13 DDC Co-host
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kara74 View Post
I can see how they would bother someone who already had issues about wanting one gender over another.
See, and this is EXACTLY it. When I went for my anatomy scan with DD2, I was convinced it was a boy. Just like Angie said above, I felt completely detatched from the baby I was growing. It was like I had to mourn the little boy I thought I had (as silly as that might sound to some). For 2 months, I didn't want to talk about anything related to gender. I didn't want to deal with the names, clothing, decorations...anything. Finally one day, I woke up and decided to get my stuff together and go buy a special outfit to bring my little girl home in and that was it. Of course, I don't wish she was a boy. I don't love her less and once she was here, I forgot all about it.

This time, I'm trying to not have any expectations. When I start longing for a boy, I remind myself how much the girls love to play together and how much easier it'll be that they'll share some common interests. That and how much I love many of the outfits that I had for the girls and how I'd love to use them one more time. (I did save them for a reason, after all). It's harder to keep a lack of expectations when people, innocent as it is, keep shoving the boy vibes at me. The hormones don't make it any easier either.
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  #11  
July 31st, 2013, 06:36 AM
blakesgirl09's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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When is your anatomy scan??
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