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Unsolicited advice from men.


Forum: December 2013 Playroom

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  • 1 Post By HorseGal
  • 1 Post By lily26
  • 2 Post By mommy-of-one
  • 2 Post By kara74
  • 1 Post By swade66
  • 1 Post By redbirds
  • 1 Post By Brittanie
  • 1 Post By mom2zachnmac
  • 1 Post By n8tsmomma

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  #1  
September 3rd, 2013, 11:03 PM
Betts's Avatar First Time Mommy
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: Orange County, CA
Posts: 863
So far I've gotten:

- What I should and shouldn't eat.

- "you shouldn't get an epidural, it's not that bad"

- "women have been having babies without epidurals forever, you can handle it. "

- "if a mother really loves her child, she'll breast feed"

- " you better breast feed" ( from my dad)

- "I could tell by looking at you that you're having a girl" (not advice, but still bugs me)


It bugs me when anybody gives me unsolicited advice, but why does it bug me so much more when men do it??? I just want to tell them to shove their advice you-know-where.
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  #2  
September 4th, 2013, 12:28 AM
HorseGal's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Location: Kansas
Posts: 4,719
Mine would be -Thats all your eating, your supposed to be eating for 2!-
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  #3  
September 4th, 2013, 01:05 AM
lily26's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Canada
Posts: 1,071
I havent figured out why men feed the need to share there 'knowledge'.
I know they're just trying to be nice and helpful, but it comes out sounding really off putting.. maybe its because they dont have a vagina... so they can't 100% know.

I get the breastfeeding thing alot more from the men in my life, then the women.
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  #4  
September 4th, 2013, 01:05 AM
lily26's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Canada
Posts: 1,071
I havent figured out why men feed the need to share there 'knowledge'.
I know they're just trying to be nice and helpful, but it comes out sounding really off putting.. maybe its because they dont have a vagina... so they can't 100% know.

I get the breastfeeding thing alot more from the men in my life, then the women.
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2lbs and 14oz on November 19th, 2013 at 2:31am.
Have never been so in love before.
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  #5  
September 4th, 2013, 05:47 AM
mommy-of-one's Avatar Veteran
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: KY
Posts: 430
I don't know if this is advice, but if I accidentally fall asleep for a nap after work or on the weekend, my DH will NOT wake me up, even if the house was on fire. The OB made one comment in my very first visit that its best to let me sleep once I fall asleep. Now, even if we have plans or something really important that needs to get done, I am on pins and needles hoping I don't fall asleep because if I do, it could be hours before my body wakes myself up! I have just recently trained DD to not let mommy take naps, but that has started to backfire on me!
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  #6  
September 4th, 2013, 05:48 AM
kara74's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Feb 2011
Posts: 2,389
Men other than an OB should not be giving advice re: pregnancy. :/

The men in my life know better than to give advice about pregnancy to a woman who is on her 4th baby.
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  #7  
September 4th, 2013, 07:19 AM
swade66's Avatar My friends call me HIRB.
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Sewickley, PA
Posts: 39,230
My FIL says that we have modern science and should use it. All women should have c-sections because it is safer for babies and there are plenty of drugs for pain so women in labor should be comfortable.
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  #8  
September 4th, 2013, 11:47 AM
redbirds's Avatar Blessed Again!
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Location: CO
Posts: 18,447
OMG! I can't believe some of these My DH plays the blissfully ignorant role and keeps everything to himself. He doesn't offer any opinions, but knows to let me rest if I'm going to bite his head off
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  #9  
September 4th, 2013, 02:07 PM
Brittanie's Avatar just me
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Littleton, CO
Posts: 43,573
Quote:
Originally Posted by Betts View Post
- "you shouldn't get an epidural, it's not that bad"

- "women have been having babies without epidurals forever, you can handle it. "
I have often thought that men should one baby, just one, just so they can KNOW. Because until you've BEEN THROUGH IT, you can't possibly have any idea what it feels like.

Even the "simulations" done on men so they can feel what contractions are like, they can't simulate how it feels to have your pelvis pushing apart, the pressure on your cervix, your vagina stretching/tearing. Yeah, they should just stfu. You may have WATCHED your WIFE do it, but...yeah.
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  #10  
September 4th, 2013, 03:13 PM
mom2zachnmac's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Minnesota
Posts: 553
This wasn't advice but it is further proof that men, even in the medical profession, just don't get it. I went into the urgent care after my first was born due to what turned out to be a really bad UTI. The male nurse upon a bloody urine sample asked me if I was having my period. I was 5 days postpartum, and HAD THE BABY WITH ME!!!
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  #11  
September 4th, 2013, 09:12 PM
Betts's Avatar First Time Mommy
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: Orange County, CA
Posts: 863
My husband is actually very supportive. He doesn't offer up any advice (God bless him).

But my dad is in town and if he's not criticizing or telling you how his way of doing things is better, then he's not talking or he's sleeping.

It's driving me nuts!
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  #12  
September 4th, 2013, 09:56 PM
n8tsmomma's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Jun 2011
Posts: 918
A man commenting on epidural use deserves to be slapped! After 48 hours of hard core contractions without any pain meds I can honestly say I might want the epidural this time even though last time I didn't. Men should just keep it to themselves or go join a men's pregnancy group to get all the things they want to say out of their system.
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