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Update from our fetal echo cardiogram


Forum: December 2013 Playroom

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  #1  
October 23rd, 2013, 07:06 AM
Papasgirl's Avatar Down Syndrome Pregnancy
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: Boston, Ma
Posts: 4,503
So we had our fetal echocardiogram yesterday. Unfortunately due to the fact that Staci is a day sleeper, and is very hard to get moving, they once again, could not get very clear images of her heart. So, once again, we are left with a question mark as to her condition. What we do know for a fact is that her left ventricle is smaller than her right ventricle. This was the case at our last echo about 7 weeks ago and it was classified as minimal in difference. Well, now it is classified as a moderate size difference. It is either caused by a Coarctation of the Aorta, a small blockage of the aorta leading to the left ventricle from the right, or it is caused by nothing at all, just a poorly structured heart. The other possibility is that she is lying in a position where she is just on her side and squishing the heart so it appears larger but after birth when she is fully flat out on her back it may just be nothing at all. The cardiologist did give a diagnosis of "moderate size differential in ventricles with possible coarctation of the aorta and an intact atrial septum" I am not 100% sure what that all means just yet, but her judgement was that there is "something" wrong, we just can't pinpoint it. When she is born they will do an echo on her and we will know for sure.
Because of this, delivery at my regular hospital is out of the question. My hospital has a level 1 nursery and if she is born with a defect as suspected, she may need a level 2 or 3. So we have to go to one of the larger boston hospitals in close proximity to Childrens hospital, just in case. The only good thing I heard the doctor say was that she is pretty sure that whatever is going on seems to be something repairable...for now anyway. I walked out of that appointment completely defeated. I just cannot believe this is all happening. I just wanted a baby...my selfish desires for one last baby has put this child at risk, not to mention the stress its causing DH and I am so upset.
We have been handling it well so far. Both DH and I, but yesterday driving to our second ultrasound for growth he said to me that if anyone ever asked him if he thought having babies was a good idea or if they should try for one more, he would tell them its not worth the stress and worry. I know he wasn;t being malitious, but hearing him say that made my heart sink, like he wishes this would all just go away. I don't know, the guilt is overwhelming. I should have just let well enough alone. Why did I have to have another baby. Six wasn't enough? Now because of me, this little baby will suffer and its all because of me.
I guess the good thing is that she is measuring right on track for 31+ weeks. All measurements are good and she weighs 3.8 pounds. She is definitely growing.
I haven't slept all night long. I went to bed at about 10 and woke up at midnight. I was up until four tossing and turning, worrying, praying and all that. I just feel so bad. I should have just let it be, but I felt like I needed one more..why? I have no clue, I just felt it. Now because of that, Staci will be born with a heart issue and a disability, all of which shouldn't be. Anyway, I go again for another ultrasound on Novemeber 8, but just a growth scan, no more echos until birth. I just pray she will be ok.
Sorry so long, just wanted to keep you all in the loop.
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Stefanie, Wife to Paul, Mom to cailyn (13), caleigh (12), cameron (11) christopher (8), Lilly (3) and Emma(2) and Staci born 12/19/13
3/12/12 5/9/12 7/05/2012 1/24/13

Baby Girl Anastasia is my Rainbow!! Diagnosed with T21...
We will journey together
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  #2  
October 23rd, 2013, 07:13 AM
Expecting our 1st and 2nd
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 983
I'm so sorry the appointment left you with unanswered questions. This is not your fault. Things happen in life that we can't explain. You shouldn't feel guilty because you felt you had enough love to give to another child. Sending thoughts, prayers, and lots of hugs your way.
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  #3  
October 23rd, 2013, 07:14 AM
HorseGal's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: Kansas
Posts: 4,719
Stephanie, first off... The world must have needed Staci, otherwise god wouldn't have put such a longing in you to have one more. I know you feel guilty and want to someone to blame, but she was meant to be special in her own way. And thank goodness you were strong enough to be willing to accept her for who she is and carrying her to term and being willing to devote a lifetime to her.
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  #4  
October 23rd, 2013, 09:19 AM
kayakr's Avatar Persuaded by POAS’ers
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Midwest
Posts: 3,775
This is in no way your fault. This could have happened to any of us and still can. This could have been your first baby instead of your last. You and DH have been strong for Staci up till now. Keep it up. Don't let it get to you now. Staci wont suffer, she is a fighter and is suppose to be here. All this extra care she'll get at birth will be a good thing to make sure everything is okay and to insure her wellness!

I know this all sounds like a huge deal to you and it is, however, these dr and hospitals have seen way worse and those babies are fine now. Staci will be too!

DH was just expressing his sadness as well. Don't take that as he regretting anything. He must be an amazing daddy or you wouldn't have wanted more babies with him. He'll be amazing this time too. Take care of each other so that you can take care of your LO and Staci !

HUGS!
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Gretchen
Me (43) DH(33) 12 years together - ttc our first together-I have 14yr old DS
Cycles 1-6 = BFN
Cycle 7 SA results abnormal morphology 2%, 50 mg clomid = BFN
Cycle 8 sonogram normal 50 mg clomid + trigger = BFN
Cycle 9 SA results abnormal morphology and motility. Count 200 mill, 100mg clomid + trigger = BFN
Cycle 10 natural = BFN
Cycle 11 hsg tubes clear, natural + trigger+IUI = BFN
Cycle 12 repronex + trigger + 2 IUI = BFN
Cycle 13 natural ovaries to stimulated for more meds = BFN
Cycle 14-22 natural cycle with Acupuncture and planning ivf/icsi/DE = ALL BFN
Cycle 23 Clomid 50 mg & Progesterone = BFN
Cycle 24 Natural = BFN
Cycle 25 BCP, SA result 7% morphology = BFN
Cycle 26 BCP and Lupron preparing for IVF
Cycle 27 IVF Acupuncture, DE Retrieval April 7, Transfer April 12 =
7 eggs retrieved, 3 fertilized, 2 transferred - zero snow babies
BETA # 1 16DPO or 11dp5dt = 569
BETA # 2 19 DPO or 14dp5dt = 1078
BETA # 3 22DPO or 17dp5dt = 2414 TWINS!
BETA # 4 30DPO or 25dp5dt = 12,685 6weeks 3days 2 heartbeats! 114 & 116
Clayton and Colton Born @ 34 weeks 11/22/13
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  #5  
October 23rd, 2013, 09:21 AM
blakesgirl09's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Texas
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(hugsssssssss)
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  #6  
October 23rd, 2013, 11:11 AM
swade66's Avatar My friends call me HIRB.
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Sewickley, PA
Posts: 39,230
Aww mama. This isn't your fault!!! You wanting another baby HAS nothing to do with what you are going through now. This could have happened with your second child or even your first. Now don't feel like you can't vent but we are responsible for reigning you back in. :hugs:

I am glad they are taking such good care of you both. Sorry you can't birth at your hospital.
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  #7  
October 23rd, 2013, 02:37 PM
Beautiful Life!
Join Date: May 2010
Posts: 1,692
I'm sorry you and your husband are feeling so discouraged. I really believe Staci is going to teach many people great things and bring happiness and joy to a lot of people! My two year old is in a play group with a little boy that has down syndrome and you can't help but light up when you see him!

I can't imagine the medical stress of it all. I just a had a fetal echocardiogram last week, because I had heart surgery as a baby so they always check my baby's for any abnormalities. I stress about it every time, but know that having had heart surgery as an infant myself, it doesn't limit or affect me as an adult besides having extra looks once in awhile to ensure all is well with my heart.

Many prayers for you and your husband and family!
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