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I don't even really know where to start... my whole labor and delivery was a whirlwind... like a tornado that swept me up out of nowhere. The whole thing was the total opposite of what I went through with my daughter's labor and delivery that's for sure!
For the few weeks before I actually gave birth, I had been second guessing every cramp, every ache, every pain, every symptom.. praying that one of them would be the start of true labor.. my body was becoming completely run down.. I didn't know how I was holding my stomach up anymore. The back pain was so bad. Since I gave birth to my daughter 6 days early, I was sure that Logan would come any minute when 39 weeks came... and when 39 weeks came and went I was completely dumbfounded.. and when I went overdue past 40 weeks I was even more stumped.. I started trying everything I could to coerce Logan to come out and nothing would work! The super moon didn't even phase him! I just couldn't take it anymore but the more I tried and failed, I guess I just accepted the pain and kept on going. It was my brother's birthday on June 25 and I actually preferred that Logan stay put because I didn't want him sharing a birthday. I went about my day cleaning like crazy (not because I had energy or wanted to.. it just had to get done haha).
My back pain was substantially worse than ever before, to the point where every move I made hurt.. I just pushed through.. no contractions though, just the Braxton hicks that I had been getting for weeks.. they did hurt a little more than normal but nothing at all that made me feel like Logan could be coming soon at all. I had a doctor appointment scheduled for the next day, on June 26 and my mom took off work for it, so I planned on staying the night at my parents' house. My mom came and picked me up, we ate dinner, and went on a walk around the neighborhood. During the walk I was having regular Braxton hicks contractions but nothing really painful.. and upon arriving home they cooled down back to being irregular when I sat at a rest. So, we just went about the rest of the night and I went to bed disappointed again because I knew my doctor would set an induction date the next day since Logan wasn't here.
I went to bed around midnight.. around 1 a.m. I woke up with some cramping. I had to use the bathroom a few times and the cramping was getting worse. I felt like my time of month was coming but between the pains I was fine.. I honestly had no clue what it felt like to be in real labor on my own and to have real natural contractions on my own, because I was given Pitocin with my daughter.. honestly I thought maybe I was just sick and had a bug from something I ate. As the cramps became stronger I also noticed my underwear became wet not with discharge but it was watery.. I didn't believe it was amniotic fluid because with my daughter I couldn't stop it from coming out it just kept on coming.. this wasn't a huge amount... However, the pain was becoming more and more intense and when I could not fall back asleep and ignore it, I woke my mom up to help me time these.. "cramps". As she got up, I had to use the bathroom again and it was total game over.. I was bleeding now.. not mucus plug type show, but I was bleeding. My mom told me we had to leave and I kind of figured that now because with each contraction (I now recognized finally that these must be contractions) I had to breathe and not talk. I would pause wherever I was and kneel down and just pray and breathe because it hurt so bad.
I honestly didn't believe that I would make it to the hospital. My mom told my poppy we were leaving and all I could say to my mom was to please call my boyfriend and his mom and I just retreated from there into my own little world. Anything my mom was saying to me was muffled, as though I was underwater. I had to pause so many times before actually getting to the reception desk on the L&D floor of the women's hospital.. what should have been a 10 minute trip from my parents' house to the reception desk took at least half an hour. As the receptionist was getting me checked in I kept having to cut her off with each contraction coming on and she gave it up and paged for a nurse to come and get me. I had contractions on my way to the room and this scared her so she hurried me into a room and immediately told me to undress from the waist down so she could check me before she did anything else because I was crying/humming through each contraction..
Every labor breathing assignment flew out the window and intuition kicked in. I don't remember a thing I learned from any L&D class I ever took because when I was in that moment all I could do was pray for it to come to an end. The nurse was shocked as she told me I was almost 9 cm and 90 percent effaced. She kept wondering out loud how in the world I labored through this alone up until this point and honestly I had no idea either. I remember with my daughter I was screaming for an epidural by the time I was 3 cm.
The nurse then paged for another nurse and they called the doctor. She then started an IV and told me I should be getting an epidural very shortly and not to worry.. I knew she was lying because she told me I would be pushing very shortly. I was okay with this information as I did actually want to try for a natural birth... but being actually in the moment I was terrified and second guessing my choice. The pain was something I would never wish on anyone. I didn't know how I was going to do this. I was scared no one would make my delivery besides my mom. Everything was happening so fast.. this is where the whirlwind starts...
I arrived at the hospital around 4:15 a.m. and Logan Krischen was born at 4:53 a.m. As the doctor came into the room, so did my boyfriend and my poppy. I didn't have time to change from my pajama top into my hospital gown between contractions. He checked and told me it was time to push. No time to monitor the baby. The IV fell out so nothing there. He didn't even have time to put on a face mask! He told me we have to do this now. I have never been so scared and in so much pain in my life. Logan came before I could even sign all of the papers and answer all of the nurse's questions! With each contraction I cried. I tried my hardest but I was also so scared I pulled back some. It burned so bad I screamed each time I had to push. I didn't think I could get him out. The doctor was so calm.. and so was everyone around me. I couldn't see how.. I was feeling panicked, like I was ripping in half. I didn't want to do it anymore. Could he just stay in?! After a few contractions, I believe my doctor knew I was too scared to try my best pushing so he asked me several times if he could help me using a vacuum. The first few times I said no.
Finally, he said "Pamela. Please. Let me help you. I know you're giving up and he is right there. We can get him out in the next contraction. It will be okay, I promise it will." I gave in then. I couldn't imagine another second of this. It was happening too fast. It was super painful. He used the vacuum. Logan's shoulder got caught but, with that last contraction I pushed as hard as I ever have in my life and I screamed as loud as I could with it. He did get out. The doctor quickly cut the cord (which caught me off guard as he didn't ask who wanted to cut it). He checked me after I delivered the placenta and I had no tearing/no stitches needed!! I was stunned. I couldn't believe I did that. Without pain medications, without monitoring or IV, without anything.. just like I came in, lay down, and was ready to push. I could not believe this. My labor with my daughter was 17 hours, my water broke, I had monitoring, I was given Pitocin, I had an epidural... Logan's labor and delivery was less than 45 minutes upon arriving at the hospital.
This quick delivery didn't come without problems though. Instead of that hour of skin to skin with my baby boy, they lay him on me briefly and whisk him away because there were some problems with his oxygen/breathing (he was at about 70 percent oxygen), color, and tone. He swallowed amniotic fluid because of the rapid delivery. They took him to the nursery after tending to him in the room and brought me to recovery to process what in the heck just happened. Instead of running an IV on me (because it came out) they gave me shots in my legs to decrease bleeding and help me continue with contractions. I have to say the contractions in the days after a second child are really bad compared to the first...
After a few hours, Logan came to me and I immediately did skin to skin and breastfed him. He is soooo much better with breastfeeding than Chloe was. I noticed that his eyes were super red and puffy and he had a newborn rash. The neonatal specialist told me he believed Logan had a reaction to the mandatory eye ointment given at birth because it was only his eyelids and not inside of his eyes. He told me it would go away with a few days. For this reason, I did not have hospital pictures done. I didn't want his first pictures to be with him looking like that. I am now looking into places to have his newborn pictures done. His reaction did clear in a few days and the rash is much better/going away. The fluid dissolved in his lungs and I felt much better.. it was just all so scary. One thing I am worried about is that he did fail his newborn hearing screening and they made me an appt. to have him tested with an audiologist in August. They told me that this is super common and not to worry at all and that with his fast delivery he could have easily had fluid build up, like he did in his lungs. I hope they are right. I have been looking for signs of hearing ever since and I think I see them a lot but I am just worried of course. I am just praying that everything is okay. I love him so much and I feel that my little family is complete.
Logan was born on June 26, 2013 at 4:53 a.m. He weighed 9 lbs. 2 oz. at birth and measured 21 inches. At his first doctor appointment on July 1 he weighed 8 lbs. 14 oz. and measured 21 1/2 inches. He is so precious and I am just really happy to have him here! His birth was the hardest thing I have ever gone through in my whole life (so thank God it was fast!) but the reward is insurmountable! I think I traumatized my poppy and boyfriend though haha my poppy wasn't in the room when I gave birth to Chloe but at the same time there was no stress because I had an epidural and my boyfriend didn't even experience me having labor pain (he took a shower before I had the epidural).
I was discharged from the hospital on Friday June 28, 2013 and we are all just adjusting to this new family life. I will post pictures as soon as I get some onto my Photobucket.. I post to my Facebook though so if you don't have me added, you can add me and see! My link is in the Facebook Links post in the secret garden.