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Anyone else terrified?

Forum: 2014 Playroom


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  • 2 Post By susie_q
  • 1 Post By moxiemommie

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September 28th, 2013, 05:45 PM
susie_q's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Maryland
Posts: 986
Hi! So I feel silly even writing this because as a 30 yr old woman, I should have my life a little in order.


I've been in a stable, happy, healthy, loving relationship for the last 6 months. We both know we're going to marry each other. I have a good job, great health insurance benefits. My sister had a baby last week, all great.

Well, I turned 30 two weeks ago and after my bf and I dtd, he finished in and I took plan b because I at this time am not trying and felt like I could be around ovulation time. I even told him I took plan b and he was appreciative as he's not trying either.

Fast forward to the past couple of days, I'm super tired, very weepy and wine was grossing me out. Today my sister asked if I was preggo bc some of my symptoms matched her early ones and I realized I was 3 days late. Took a test this afternoon and it's a BFP. Like, the positive line is darker than the control.

I'm floored. And scared. And not feeling prepared. I read everyone's post here and I'm so sad bc everyone is so excited and happy that this is happening and I sat in my bath tub and cried. I haven't told bf yet because he's been at work but he's going to be in shock to say the least.

Anyone feel this way the first time around?
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September 28th, 2013, 05:57 PM
AllyTales's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Upstate NY
Posts: 883
While I can't relate, because we were trying.. I'm so sorry! I have a friend that was in your situation. Unplanned and very scared. It eventually worked out for her. Even if it wasn't planned, and you're not thrilled right now.. I hope you stick around. *big hugs* to you!

♥ due with little GIRL June 1 ♥
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September 28th, 2013, 06:01 PM
susie_q's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Maryland
Posts: 986
So obviously one of my pregnancy symptoms is crying because even that made me cry haha. The thing is I've always wanted kids. I actually thought I'd have 3 or 4 by now but life didn't turn out that way. And my bf wants kids too, just not yet as he's in school and timing is just off.

I guess I never thought when I'd get a bfp that I'd be weepy, I always thought I'd be overjoyed. I'm very pro-choice politically but for me personally, I've never viewed that as an option, and it still isn't. I guess I was just wondering if anyone felt like this maybe with their first. But the support and someone to offer a listening ear is nice, so thank you
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September 28th, 2013, 08:40 PM
Justjessie's Avatar Really Just Angela
Join Date: Oct 2009
Posts: 5,125
Never exactly that way...but everything has always worked out. It just always does. I have a friend that had a plan B baby too...that kid just had to be born =)

When plans change (our plans) it's hard to get used to the "new" plan. But one day you'll look back and what wasn't supposed to happen and you might think "Wow, that worked out better than I expected!"

In the meantime, we're all here to go through this with you. Having a baby is a big deal and there are ups and downs...but having people going through the same thing is a huge help!

Side note...I was only "supposed" to have one...check the siggy (mine were all planned but after my first I was literally like "screw this, I'm done") They make you rethink EVERYTHING =)
Thanks Kiliki for the siggy!
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September 29th, 2013, 05:32 AM
Demetria's Avatar Baby Mia 11-12 1lb 6oz <3
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: North Carolina
Posts: 4,045
Aw! Hugs!!!! Things will get better! I can't say that I have had the exact same experience that you have, but with my baby girl, Ava, I was engaged and set to be married the coming September when I realized that my fiancé and I had some risky behaviors around ovulation time. I took a plan B as well, but I was obviously already pregnant because, well, she's here. lol

I REALLY didnt want to be pregnant at that time, especially with the upcoming wedding we had already spent big bucks on. Needless to say the wedding didn't happen how we planned it nor on the date we planned it, but we did get married and I am overjoyed with my little pumpkin, she is the light in our lives and she pretty much runs the house.

You will love your little baby, trust me! It may not seem like it came in the form of the way you planned, but that is life. Life happens, and its not always according to our plans! The biggest way to disappoint yourself is to set up a plan and to dwell on your expectations when your plan tanks, vs. smiling and rolling with the reality!

I hope you feel better, congrats and welcome to the group!!

Somewhere over the RAINBOW

Missing my sweet little boy, RIP Baby Sullivan Parker
1-3-14 18 weeks gestation (measuring 20 weeks at scan)
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September 29th, 2013, 05:42 AM
mrsdaiwa24's Avatar Amy, soon-to-be-mama of 2
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: The Midwest
Posts: 10,073

I don't have any experience with this as both of my pregnancies were planned. However, I did have a "scare" when DD was three months old and I was convinced that I was pregnant again (the winter weather had been terrible and I wasn't able to go out to get a test). I was sobbing and very upset at the thought of it (granted, it was for different reasons -- my daughter was 3 months old and the thought of another one at that point was just unreal). So while it ended up with me not being pregnant, for a time I was feeling some of the same things you were.

This is a big event and a very unexpected one. Your emotions will be all over the place, and that's okay. We're here for you if you need support.
Thank you JAIDYNSMUM for my adorable new siggy!
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September 29th, 2013, 01:49 PM
susie_q's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Maryland
Posts: 986
Thanks so much everyone, I really appreciate it. We bought a test and it was a blue dye, so the first came out a little light, but obviously still there, he asked me to drink a ton of water and pee again. Did that and that line was faint so he doesn't think it's real. I'm going to show him my last pink dye test tonight and make my dr appt tomorrow, start making some plans.

I do appreciate the support group here. Like I said, my sister is only 9 days post partum now, so between her and here, I think it'll be okay. I'm gonna be a mommy!
LivyLove and Demetria like this.
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September 30th, 2013, 12:29 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: May 2013
Location: CA
Posts: 2,130
Our first pregnancy, for me was terrifying. I had been told by two different drs that I would likely not be able to get pregnant due to scarring in my pelvis/ uterus. My bf at the time (now fiance) had just been laid off, I had just moved and was job searching. In that time. Our rent was late, bills were piling, no food in the house, his truck got repossessed, my mom almost died having me, so that was a concern of mine and I actually thought about giving the bby up for adoption. So extremely terrified in all aspects. It ended up being amazing. My baby shower really was amazing, my family and hos basically "gave" is a whole set up crib, diapers wipes, everything! We struggled for about a year, and now every aspect has changed for the better. We are expecting our third and last baby in june, 2014! It is scary at first, but count your blessings. We were so shocked. Obviously I visited multiple drs and they have said my uterus looks great, there is slight scarring, but nothing that would keep me from having a baby or a difficult pregnancy/delivery! We were pretty amazed and even if you are scared have faith, things really change, I feel for the better.
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September 30th, 2013, 12:57 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: May 2013
Location: CA
Posts: 2,130
Excuse the typos im on my phone lol
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September 30th, 2013, 05:07 PM
chrysalis1's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 532
I haven't had that exact same experience because we were trying but I am definitely very scared because it is our first. I am 22 and DH is 23, I am scared because none of my friends have kids yet and I am terrified my friends won't have time for me with my new lifestyle or that I will grow apart from them because I am getting ready to be a mother. I know they all want kids someday too (one girl wants SIX!!), but somebody has to be "the first" and that is scary! When I got BFN's the first three cycles I would think that it probably wasn't meant for me to get pregnant right now because we were trying too young and that maybe we should wait. This cycle I just knew af would come like always and it never did. I am scared about a lot of things, having to stay up all night, losing the freedom to just get up and go out on the town, breastfeeding properly, how my job will react, and on and on but I just stop thinking about them and think about how this is what I want and how grateful I am that it is happening. I look at SO and can't wait to see a son or daughter smile and light up just he did when he found out we had a BFP. I look at my family and think about how much I love them and I cant wait to add to our family. I look at DH's family and think about how I can't wait to add to their family lol. I guess what I'm saying is I'm definitely scared but I try not to think about it because what is important is that life is short and family is irreplaceable!
Me: 25 DH: 27

"Mild" pcos, conceived DS1 on cycle #4 ttc
Baby B. 5/2014

BFP on first cycle TTC baby #2.. So surprised and happy!

Last edited by chrysalis1; September 30th, 2013 at 05:11 PM.
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