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Forum: 2014 Playroom


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December 10th, 2013, 02:49 PM
susie_q's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Maryland
Posts: 986
So a little education background about me. I wanted to get my secondary social studies education degree as my BA but instead stuck with history, mostly because I just wanted to be done and planned on getting my masters. Took some time off then went back and my adviser said secondary social studies was too competitive to get into, so to try elementary. Did the course work but just couldn't afford a year off work for the internship, so I've been working on my master's in american history since.

But I've always wanted to teach. Since I was a little girl.

Right before I found out I was pregnant, I applied for the Baltimore City Teaching Residency Fellowship. Didn't think I'd get it but I found out yesterday I actually did. It's a great gig. I'd be teaching English in a high needs area, which is what I always planned to do. I'd train for 5 weeks, then start full time salary in September. Salary is great, my very very large student loan debt would shrink some due to the nature of the work (if I stay with it that is). Teaching is an awesome profession to have as a mom given that you have winter and summer breaks and I'd work not far from home so commute would be significantly less.

Here's the problem. Training starts at the end of June. Guess what I'm planning to have at the beginning of June? A baby! I'm so torn. I could do in home daycare for a few years while I stay home with my baby but then what? I talked to my bf about it and he knows my passion for this and said he'd be willing to do whatever, even if that means taking a night job so he can watch the baby during the day. His sister is also offering babysitting services and I trust her. I might be able to convince my sister to come up once a week during this time (the one that has two kids). Maybe even my other sister. It just scares me leaving (potentially) a 3 week old so soon. After training I'll have a few weeks with the baby at home before I start work.

I just don't know what to do. Long term, this is fantastic. But is it worth the short term sacrifice?

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December 10th, 2013, 03:16 PM
TiggersMommy's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Tucson, AZ
Posts: 708
Can you defer? You often can with fellowships. I deferred for a semester because DD was due in September of the semester I was to start my PhD.
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December 10th, 2013, 03:21 PM
susie_q's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Maryland
Posts: 986
I don't think so. If I defer, it'll have to be until summer 2015, which wouldn't be a bad thing. I've been doing research before I ask them but so far that's not come up. I hope so.

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December 10th, 2013, 04:11 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: United States
Posts: 1,413
I'm torn on this one. I am a true believer of following your passion. However, as a teacher, I have to be honest with you on this one. I've mentored first year teachers before, and the biggest shock to them is always how time consuming teaching is. It is NOT an 8-3 job for 40 weeks out of the year, especially the first year. My first year teaching, I literally woke up, taught all day, spent hours after school getting stuff cleaned-up, set out for the next day, came home late, ate a quick dinner, and graded papers on the couch until I fell asleep. I then woke up and did it all again. I felt like a robot. It gets better, but your work is never done as a teacher. You just get into routine, learn better time management, and have past lessons/experiences to go off of.

Another thing you may want to consider is whether or not you plan on breast feeding. You will need time and a place to pump. I'm not sure how that will work with training.

I hate to be the downer here and honestly am considering deleting this post I'm writing. Like I said, this is your dream. This is a great experience. Would it ever be available to you again? Say in a year?

I know this has to be tough for you, and I know ultimately you will make the best decision for your family. Please don't hate me for my response.
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December 10th, 2013, 04:13 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: May 2013
Location: CA
Posts: 2,130
In my opinion (and this is coming from a SAHM who has worked several random jobs, but thus far have no legitimate career) I would absolutly take it. Will you struggle a bit the first year, probably, esp because you will have just had the baby and need to heal, BUT you would NOT regret this decision. Fortunately since Ryan was a year old and Luke was born, I have not had to work holidays, but boy have we struggled financially. If you can get your foot in the door, and get holidays and summer off, paid salary, that is just wonderful and will provide stability for yourself and your kid(s) I really wouldnt pass it up. Good luck with whatever you decide as long as you find a career path you love.
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December 10th, 2013, 04:17 PM
RunningMommyTo5's Avatar Marathoning Mom to 4!
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Georgia
Posts: 4,443
I can't really offer any true advice other than to follow your gut and what you think is truly best for you and your growing family. I can only give my experience which is quite the opposite, giving up a great career to stay at home with my kids. I don't regret it for one second and I would NEVER trade spending this time with my kids while I can. However, I also realize that this is not a choice for every mom, be it a financial situation that doesn't allow it even if it's what they'd like to do, or the fact that they are simply happier working outside the home. Both choices are valid ones and you can have to make the choice that will satisfy your heart and is the correct balance for your family.

I can say that I will be praying for you and this decision in your life. Please keep us updated on what you decide! I know it's not an easy decision, but take some time to really think through all your options, the pros and cons of each, and think through how you'll feel with the cons of each option. Hopefully, that will help you decide what is the best choice for you and your family. *hugs*
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December 10th, 2013, 04:21 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: USA
Posts: 1,411
What a tough decision! Here is my opinion, but in the end do what feels right in your heart & what you think is best for you and your little family.

I was a single mom when I had DD, and I had to work full-time. I only got 3 weeks of maternity leave and then it was back to work. Thankfully I was working from home, but that does not discount just how stressful it is to work full-time and manage life as a new mom with a new little baby.

It was so. dang. stressful. So much so, that my milk supply dried up at 5 months because my body was so worn out. If you can defer and you don't HAVE to take it right now, I would most definitely wait. Jobs come and go, but you will never get the days back of your child growing up. I know some women have no choice but to work full-time out of the home, and it breaks my heart of all the "firsts" they miss out on.

Really, you just have to do what you think is best for you and your family. I'm working again full-time (from home) and my only hope is that I will be able to quit before the baby comes.... I don't want my 2nd time around to be anything like the first.

You'll be in my T&Ps - keep us posted sweetie!
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December 10th, 2013, 04:27 PM
Demetria's Avatar Baby Mia 11-12 1lb 6oz <3
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: North Carolina
Posts: 4,045
I have to agree with Meaghan, if I were you I would at least give it a try, you will probably regret it if you don't and since you have help, it would make it a little easier on you that you don't have to leave your baby with someone that you don't already know.
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December 10th, 2013, 04:37 PM
susie_q's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Maryland
Posts: 986
Nicole! No! I very much appreciate your opinion!! I needed honesty and all sides, and I know we have a few teacher moms on here, so I especially wanted to see what they had to say.

All of what y'all are saying is exactly what's on my mind. I have to work, at least right now, so it really is a matter of working a job that will just make ends meet or be able to be a little more stable with benefits.

Much, much to think about in the upcoming weeks before I have to decide. Thank you so much for your opinion ladies. I truly value it, especially since so many of you have experience with this type of situation, so thank you.

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December 10th, 2013, 05:02 PM
Join Date: Oct 2013
Posts: 331
The I first year in any new grade/ teaching position is the worst. I taught three different grade levels in five years. However, if you are teaching at the secondary level, you may be able to do the same lesson several times a day. The worst time of year for elem. is the beg. Of the year. High school is final exam time. It was elem. teachers vs. high school where I taught when it came to staff days because we needed them in August and they needed June and January. In other words, the busy time may Ben when baby is 6 months old.

Sorry about the typo and radon I. Ipads suck for typing.
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December 10th, 2013, 05:15 PM
mrsdaiwa24's Avatar Amy, soon-to-be-mama of 2
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: The Midwest
Posts: 10,073
I'm a middle school social studies teacher -- here's my opinion.

If you can defer -- defer it for a year. As Nicole said, teaching is a very time consuming job. And being a first year teacher -- wow. You're starting completely from scratch. You've got to learn your curriculum, behavior management, how your school/district operates. There's mountains of paperwork, lesson plans, grading, and so much more. It is an amazing job -- and I wouldn't give it up for anything -- but it is incredibly difficult, especially during your first year.

Stupidly, I asked for a grade level and curriculum switch four months before Betsy was born. I went from teaching 7th grade American History to teaching 6th grade ancient history/Western Civ. I was a veteran 12 year teacher and I still had a difficult time balancing a newborn and a new curriculum.

Ultimately, do what you need to do. Teaching is such a rewarding career and it is so hard to get your foot in the door these days -- but that being said, you just have to make sure you can handle the demands of both of your new jobs. Good luck to you!

(And if you ever need to talk social studies, feel free to let me know!)
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December 11th, 2013, 07:51 AM
susie_q's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Maryland
Posts: 986
Thank you everyone! I couldn't find an answer online so I just asked them if I could defer. If I can't, I'll think about this some more, but I guess what I keep coming back to is I'll have an almost 3 week if...I deliver on time. First time pregnancies I know can run long and there's a chance I may have to have a c-section due to some medical stuff, so if I have to, there's no way I'll be healed in time.

It's very frustrating and brings me to tears over it. I don't want to let it go because I know it'll be great for my family, but I don't want to burn myself out early on or make things so hard on my family in the beginning. This is also a high needs school, so it's going to take extra focus.

So we'll wait and see what they say. Fingers crossed!
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December 11th, 2013, 07:55 AM
AtomicMama's Avatar CopperBoom!
Join Date: May 2008
Location: MI
Posts: 14,754
First, I absolutely agree on deferring for a year, IF that is a possibility.

If it is not, I don't think it's an opportunity I could personally pass up. It's an amazing opportunity to get into a career you really want. I would love to teach, and it was my plan post-DS. For me, it was my lack of focus on class work (I had to go back and get a secondary teaching degree, which meant a 4 year degree even AFTER having a bachelors) that made me decide that instead of failing and ruining any future possibilities of teaching, I should just enter the work force.

All that said, you have the opportunity for the fellowship, to jump into the field of your want. I'd take it. Yes, it will be very difficult. However, I know you will be able to do it And in a few years, once you have your schedule worked out, you will probably look back and be glad you took it. And if not, if you are going to lose the fellowship if you don't take it right now, it can't hurt to try. The worst that could happen is you try and change your mind and realize it is too much work and you want to spend more time with your baby, and you will bow down gracefully. But I have complete faith that you can suceed if it's what you decide to do!
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December 11th, 2013, 08:49 AM
Super Mommy
Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: Az
Posts: 635
I know you already put in the request for to defer. And I think was wise.

If the program won't defer, I would suggest you take it and I think you will ultimately feel more comfortable with family members being with baby. It isn't easy to leave a small person with anyone, but it does somehow get easier.
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December 11th, 2013, 09:50 AM
Missymoos's Avatar 1st time Momma!
Join Date: May 2013
Location: Ontario (Canada)
Posts: 1,090
I would be really surprised if they did not let you defer for a year...but up here in the North it's a pretty normal practise for expectant mothers to defer so maybe it is different in your neck of the woods.
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December 11th, 2013, 10:39 AM
AllyTales's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Upstate NY
Posts: 883
For sure, I would see if you can defer for a year. That would make it SO much easier on you. I don't envy your decision!! I'm a career girl (even though I work from home now) and also have a masters. I know I would have regrets if I didn't do what I have always wanted to. I had some sacrifices to make, also.. short term. And it sucked while I was doing it, but I kept focusing on the long term.. and got through it. It was 100% worth it.

Not quite the same as the sacrifice you'll have to make, but same gist.
I have no answers for you, but I know the decision will come to you *hugs*

♥ due with little GIRL June 1 ♥
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December 11th, 2013, 11:10 AM
trusting and believing
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: Texas
Posts: 811
I work in education, was a classroom teacher for 9 years for moving into a different position. It is very demanding work, but I'm sure you know this. My thoughts are to do what you believe you are capable of doing. I don't think I could start such a program a few weeks after having a baby. I've been working on my doctorate for a while, and I was registered for spring classes in 2011 believing I'd be able to take them after having a baby in December, but when that baby actually got here, whole different story! I dropped the spring classes and started back in summer, with just one class.

So again, you have to do what you can do. And what you can't, don't feel bad about it. If this opportunity is meant for you, it will happen, even if it's not this upcoming June.
Thanking God for a healthy, happy, and BLESSED----->

Mom to one son born December 2010 and expecting another little guy June 16, 2014!
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December 11th, 2013, 08:12 PM
chrysalis1's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 532
I just wanted to pop in and say congrats on getting into BCTR! I actually taught in baltimore last year, it was very rewarding. I left teaching for reasons beyond my control, but I am always very excited for and feel a kinship with new inner city teachers.
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December 11th, 2013, 09:48 PM
susie_q's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Maryland
Posts: 986
Originally Posted by chrysalis1 View Post
I just wanted to pop in and say congrats on getting into BCTR! I actually taught in baltimore last year, it was very rewarding. I left teaching for reasons beyond my control, but I am always very excited for and feel a kinship with new inner city teachers.
I'm gonna PM you tomorrow about your experience. I have some questions if that's okay!

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