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Frustrated doesn't even begin to describe how I'm feeling. Usually, no matter what I can get 2 kick counts (10 in 2h) daily. And evening has been her time to rock (since about 20 weeks). Not yesterday. And now, with my pre-ecclampsia, there's a whole other slew of things that could go wrong. DH tried to help by queuing up a video about pre-e, which was a ten second long thing that said, "Pre-ecclampsia is known to cause constriction of the blood vessels in the placenta, depriving the fetus of nutrients and oxygen. Stillbirth rates are significantly higher." And the video ended. Ladies, my mind went from 0-60 so fast; I thought of all the things we have ready for her I would have to face if we lost her; the crib, her little pink clothes, the diapers, everything. Telling everyone we lost her. Offshoremama's pictures of Alexander. It all swirled together and I just cried. And then like I said before, she wasn't moving. DH took my BP before bed and it was 148/100 so we went in anyway. I just stared out the car window. My mind just would only work one way; it never thought to consider that maybe she is just big now and can't move as much. They hooked me up to do an NST and she was fine, of course, very reactive. The nurses were so good, it was like DH and 2 of them formed a "hugging tent" around me and just let me bawl my eyes out. They calmly answered all my questions about pre-e and were very reassuring. It's just so frustrating that I can't be calm at a time when I need to the most to keep my bp down. UGHH!
So glad your feeling better and baby girl is fine. I'm going through being terrified now. Seeing the 3 still births in jan/feb has me panicked also and last night I was exhausted and went to bed early so didn't feel the usual night kicks. Then is am I slept in and still wasn't feel as much as usual. I have a doppler and listened and heard the heart beat but still LO isn't moving as much. DH is out of town (2hrs away) I don't want to panic him, I just want the baby to MOVE!!Baby making is so stressful! I'm at the point I just want to give birth so I can hold this little one!
Big hugs to you, mama!! I have had those thoughts as well here and there and try not to dwell on them. I'm sure I would have reacted the same way in that situation. So glad you went in and Leah was looking good. That reassurance is a huge help. Anyone can tell you to try not to worry but it comes with the territory. I don't have pre-e or any other big issues but I still worry about all the what-ifs. Our little girls are due on the same day and they will be here soon enough, completely healthy I'm sure! And then we can start worrying about all sorts of other things.
So happy you and Leah are well! I have those thoughts too. Even with this being my 3rd. I guess I can't help it. Having pre-e must just add to all of your stress. I am glad your DH is understanding as well as the nurses. Have they talked about induction sooner because of the pre-e? Hopefully, you were able to get some rest last night after the hospital.
Mommy to Miranda 1/17/08 & Annabelle 3/24/11...Waiting for Elaina Marie due May 5th 2014
Oh dear, your poor clueless DH with that video! It's sweet that he was trying to help, though. I'd also have gone into an emotional typhoon. I hope that you start to feel better after what seems a fruitful L&D visit. Pre-e is definitely scary, but remember that you're in capable hands! Big hugs to you and that still thriving baby bump, mama.
Proud mommy to Helenna Brook (1/26/10) & Eris Genevieve (4/20/14)
& the lucky S.O. to Matthew, a model daddy
-big hugs- I'm so glad that you and Leah are fine! It's so hard (maybe even impossible) to not worry, and for your mind to not go to those dark places when you're having health issues anyway. It's good to know of the dangers and possibilities, but it's also pure torture! I'm so glad that your nurses were awesome too and you had such great support. That helps a lot!
I've found worrying is a huge part of motherhood unfortunately. I worry during pregnancy but those first few months are scary too! That probably doesn't help but I just think it's normal and do whatever makes you feel better
KatieWife to Aaron
Mommy to Carter (4), and McKinley (2)
Due 11/30 with #3!