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I was determined to breastfeed this time. I had to give it up because it was very painful. My nips were falling apart and when I pumped I pumped blood. I still kept pumping but in 45 min of pumping I would get 1 oz combined sometimes less . Other than that I love the newborn stage. She sleeps and eats well
Wow, I haven't been on this forum for awhile but I'm in the same boat as most of you and reading your stories has been comforting.
Baby lost weight after discharge from the hospital and we were put on a strict regimen to feed every 2 hours. So for me this meant breast feeding, pumping out whatever was left and feeding that to baby and then offering her formula. Supposedly every 2 hours. How the heck is that possible?! I obviously failed at keeping to that schedule and felt horrible about it. Luckily despite me my baby was past birth weight at our 2 week appointment. Now we can do feedings every 3-4 hours. They still want her to catch up in weight a little bit though.
I've been having trouble with baby breastfeeding. We saw a lactation consultant and of course for that time baby did perfectly. Usually though she'll take a while to latch, repeatedly fall asleep and only manage to nurse on one side. I ended up with mastitis on the side she doesn't nurse on as much. I had a mini breakdown too since it's just me alone with the baby most of the time since he's back at work. Sleep deprivation, feeling like you have the flu and a crying baby is the recipe for another breakdown. We threw up the white flag and now have a family member here to help watch her. Again, I feel like such a failure that I can't handle my baby 24/7 when I don't even have to worry about anything else like work.
So when I got mastitis I gave up on breastfeeding and started exclusively pumping. I'm not sure what my next step is. Right now baby is getting maybe 60/40 breastmilk to formula. I am having trouble keeping up with the pumping in addition to everything else especially when I'm alone. I am thinking about throwing in the towel and baby is only 1 month old. I hate being tied to the pump for 20 minutes at a time every 3-4 hours. And I for sure don't want to get mastitis again. We will see.
Baby seems to give only me a hard time. Every time someone else watches her I ask if she cried a lot, had trouble eating or sleeping, etc. Nope, she was perfect for them. When I bring her home sometimes it's like all hell breaks loose. I love being with her when she's content, but when she's crying her head off and I can't console her it's so stressful. I can't wait until this phase is over and things get better.
Also, I forgot to schedule her newborn picture session and now she has cradle cap and baby acne. Ugh. We're working on trying to get that to go away now too.
I feel so ungrateful sometimes. She is a good baby overall and we are so lucky because she's healthy and I'm healthy now. She won't be little for long so I'm trying to enjoy it but at times it is so trying. I'm even scared to take her out on errands with me right now because of her unpredictable melt downs so I kind of feel stuck at home. Thanks for all the stories ladies.. at least now I feel like I'm not alone!
Try not to be to hard on yourself. It's so hard in the early stages (heck motherhood can be hard at all stages). You're lacking sleep, trying to figure out baby, trying to breastfeed, etc. It can be a lot. I bet most of us have had breakdowns. I'll admit I've had quite a few. And I'm right there with ya - sometimes I swear baby only gives me a hard time. When DH is off she doesn't seem to have her colic episodes so I swear she doesn't want him to go to work. Hugs.