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Should I find out or not?

Forum: 2014 Playroom


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  • 1 Post By jozzy
  • 3 Post By Maddy6912

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June 6th, 2014, 05:36 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Glasgow, Scotland
Posts: 1,412
Need opinions ladies I have my anatomy scan on Monday very excited but scared to praying baby is healthy but do I find out gender I want to know my SO doesn't originally he was coming to the scan and I prob wouldn't have a choice since they won't tell u gender unless ur both in agreement and we can't agree but now he can't make it so my mum is coming instead so I could find out but not tell him but I feel bad doing that what would u do also I really want a girl and I feel awful saying this but I'm scared I'm going to be sad if it's a boy I have one of each but I really want a girl this time this will prob be our last baby

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June 6th, 2014, 06:05 AM
jozzy's Avatar Veteran
Join Date: Feb 2014
Posts: 411
I am not the best person to give advice because id just go ahead and find out anyway lol....I'm just sneaky like that. However most people would probably tell you that you shouldn't go behind his back and just wait.

Make a pregnancy ticker

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June 6th, 2014, 06:21 AM
Maddy6912's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 850
Your the one carrying the baby, if you want to know then find out! I would find out and not tell hubby, its his fault he doesn't want to find out. Most people would probably not agree but you shouldn't not find out just because he doesn't want to know.

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June 6th, 2014, 06:26 AM
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: SE Florida
Posts: 59
How well can your Mum keep a secret? You know yourself best, do you really think you can know and not let it slip to ANYBODY over the next 4 months or so?

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June 6th, 2014, 06:52 AM
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: England
Posts: 310
Hmm, I'd never be able to keep it secret, I'd accidentally say she/he or something and give the game away! Perhaps you could find out and then just tell SO that the sonographer let it slip without you asking?
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June 6th, 2014, 09:09 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 1,157
That's a bit tricky. If it were just me and I wanted to know but hubby didn't (we were actually the opposite but I caved), I would probably find out and keep it to myself. Since your mom is going to be there too I think you might have a harder time guarding your secret, you can't really be sure that she won't share.

I really wanted a girl too, but I was able to brace myself ahead of time for the 'disappointment' of a boy. When it did turn out to be a boy, I was a lot less disappointed than I thought I would be. It turned out that all I really cared about was having a healthy baby. I promise you it will matter less than you think.
EPing, CDing mommy to:

Brock Cody, born sleeping @41 weeks (10/23/2014)
Nathan George, our rainbow, arrived @38 weeks (10/8/2015)

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June 6th, 2014, 09:30 AM
flitabout's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Pipestone, Minnesota
Posts: 6,500
I wouldn't be able to take it. I would have to find out!!!!

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June 6th, 2014, 10:16 AM
Posts: n/a
That's a tough choice. Can you talk to your SO and see what he thinks about you finding out the gender but not him? I think that is the best compromise. It's your choice just as much as it is his, so neither of you should be forced either way. I'll be honest, if I were in your shoes I'd find out and if my DF didn't want to know I wouldn't tell him. But I wouldn't lie to him and tell him I didn't find out the gender.

Don't worry about being disappointed about the gender. If you are disappointed, that is completely normal and there is nothing wrong with it. I was dead sure that I wanted a girl and did not want a boy at all when I heard "there is the scrotum and penis" nothing really went through my head. I was a bit surprised that it was a boy, but seeing him was so amazing. After the u/s I was so happy and could have cared less. But, when we got home I'll admit that I was pretty upset for a few hours. Then that feeling went away and now I couldn't be happier about having a boy. I'm so excited to be having a boy.
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June 6th, 2014, 03:48 PM
butterflies.in.a.jar's Avatar <3Three is company too<3
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Frosty Wonderland (WI), US
Posts: 3,774
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I'd have to find out. If he doesn't want to know, you don't have to tell him, but I wouldn't not find out just because he didn't wanna know.
Stephanie (30) breastfeeding, babywearing, cosleeping mama to
(5), Wren
Phoenix (2), Fox
and due with our rainbow 3/5/18
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June 6th, 2014, 03:59 PM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: United States
Posts: 8,586
Look at it from another point of view...

If he did something you asked him not to do and then lied to you and said he didnt' do it, how would you feel?

Talk to him about it. See if you can get him to agree.
DS: 2
DD3: 9/19/14-10/19/14

Mom to 4 beautiful kids! 3 on Earth and 1 in heaven. Our little girl, Matilda Hope had Down Syndrome. She was born with TMD, a disease that is like leukemia. She fought that and beat it. Then, she had liver failure. She beat that, too. On October 17, 2014 she had NEC, necrotizing enterocolitis. My baby went to Heaven on October 19, 2014. She lived exactly one month.
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