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Another rough day


Forum: 2014 Playroom

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  #1  
July 25th, 2014, 08:03 PM
NaturalRadiance's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Apr 2014
Posts: 709
I cried so much I should be dehydrated. We had our talk. Didn't go well. He wants me to pay him back ending he paid to move here and is refusing to leave until I do. That's over $3000. He's also refusing to pay any of the bills. He hasn't paid since June. I'm exhausted. I can't sleep more than 4 hours and I barely have an appetite. I wish I didn't have to work all weekend. I want to take a day to myself. Maybe just lie under the covers all day and pretend this isn't happening.

On top of everything else I have to deal with his family bad mouthing me. It's so embarrassing. I wish I could rewind time. Things have just fallen apart so quickly. I'll be ok and I know that. Just some days are hard to get thru. Today was one of them.
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  #2  
July 25th, 2014, 10:57 PM
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I'm sorry I haven't been exactly where you are but I do know all about the family stuff & it's not easy! I'm really sorry it's been so rough for you. In time everything will get better! Just keep thinking of that little one that needs you! Once she's here you'll have a best friend for life!
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  #3  
July 26th, 2014, 03:40 AM
zanesgirls's Avatar Veteran
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Posts: 177
i'm so sorry you're having to deal with all this! stay strong, vent here whenever you need to!
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  #4  
July 26th, 2014, 08:48 AM
Blue_Jar_Mama's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Feb 2009
Posts: 5,078
I'm so sorry. You absolutely should not pay him back! He chose to move there. I remember on your last post he said he didn't even want to help you pay for the birth. That is unacceptable. It's his baby too. Good luck hun.
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  #5  
July 26th, 2014, 09:06 AM
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His behavior is ridiculous and unacceptable. I am so sorry you are dealing with this and I'm praying that you find peace. Your baby is lucky to have you as her momma.
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  #6  
July 26th, 2014, 11:26 AM
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I am so sorry, sweetheart. His behavior is absolutely ridiculous, and I can't believe he's behaving this way towards you. Keep your chin up, and be strong. I'm thinking of you, and I really hope things get better. We're always here for you!
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  #7  
July 26th, 2014, 02:24 PM
HeartHelloKitty's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I'm so sorry you're having to deal with all this.
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  #8  
July 26th, 2014, 04:01 PM
palmetto_moon's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I'm so sorry you are dealing with all this. It's crazy how much you have to work, and with no support for your SO. I hope he comes to his senses. I agree with the other ladies, this is totally unacceptable. It's his baby too and he should want to help take care of his child and his child's mother.
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  #9  
July 27th, 2014, 11:15 AM
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My goodness, you have had a rough time!! I am sorry that you are having to put up with all this crap! I would want to wring his neck!! I also agree with some of the others and don't think you should pay him back. That being said I can understand just wanting to rid yourself of all the drama and get him off your back. Again, I think he is really selfish to put you through this right now. I'm so sorry!
Hopefully this will all be behind you soon, and you can focus on more important things...like this precious new life you are creating. Stay strong, and vent to us anytime you need to!! <<<<hugs>>>>
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  #10  
July 27th, 2014, 04:10 PM
mlc52811's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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How awful! I am so sorry you're going through this, especially while pregnant! We are here for you. Please vent as much as you need.
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  #11  
July 27th, 2014, 08:32 PM
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I'm so sorry you are dealing with this, and I wish you all the best. I agree that you don't have to pay him anything.
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  #12  
July 27th, 2014, 09:01 PM
socialworkmom2be's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I'm sorry you are going through this
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  #13  
July 28th, 2014, 06:35 AM
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Hugs!I'm so sorry he is being such a dipsh*t! I don't think you have to pay him anything. He isn't even participating in any part of the household obligations.


Do you have any family you can stay with till this is resolved? Are you renting? If so, could you contact your landlord, explain the situation and find a new place on your own. Once the contract is up he's out of luck.


Its hard enough being pregnant, but to have to handle all this just sucks. You sound so strong though and I have confidence you will make it through stronger. Hopefully he can buck up and become the man he needs to be for his child and for you. <3
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  #14  
July 28th, 2014, 06:55 AM
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Oh.my.gosh! I am so sorry I can't even believe he's acting so incredibly childish! The son that you guys have.....I'm assuming that's his son from a previous relationship? Does he live with you guys? I almost can't even believe he's being like that given he already has a child! Seriously! It's not an excuse with your FIRST child, but a least guys have reason to be a little scared with number 1....but number 2? No way! You deserve so much better than that I'm so sorry!!! You will be in my prayers!! Please keep us posted!
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  #15  
July 28th, 2014, 07:05 AM
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Hey girl...I think I missed some of the story, but from what I've read so far.....I just want to say I am SOOO sorry. I will keep you in my Prayers sweetie!!! (((HUGS))))
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  #16  
July 28th, 2014, 10:12 AM
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I'm sorry you're dealing with all of this on top of being pregnant. This should be a joyous time for you! Please feel free to vent to us any time you need to. I will be praying for you and your little one during this time. (((hugs)))
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  #17  
July 29th, 2014, 01:19 PM
purp1988's Avatar First Time Mommy
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Just saw this... I hope you made it through the weekend! I can't believe he is acting so immature and ridiculous. I do not understand why some men can be so stupid and cruel. I do not think you should pay him a penny. You have been doing so much yourself already. I hope he has left - and if he hasn't well maybe you can stay somewhere else in the mean time? I don't trust that though - my ex stayed in our house and trashed it so I was out thousands, but maybe your guy isn't that low. Hopefully not.

*HUGS* I wish you didn't have to go through all this - try to stay on the bright side - you have a beautiful human being growing inside you who will love you unconditionally and who needs you to be strong. xo
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  #18  
July 31st, 2014, 05:30 AM
NaturalRadiance's Avatar Super Mommy
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Thank you for your kind words, thoughts, and prayers ladies. I met with a lawyer on Monday. I'm working on a payment plan with them. They told me that they're willing to negotiate the rate but first I have to make an offer to see if they accept. I have no idea what a reasonable rate for a lawyer is do I have no idea what I should ask for. The good news is that either way I have until December to save up since they can't do anything until the baby is actually born.

I'm going to file for custody arrangements as soon as she is born no matter what our living arrangements are at that time. If I don't, they said legally he will have the right to up and leave with her whenever he wants. As far as him living here, they said there's nothing I can do short of calling the police since he's not on the lease.


I've been doing OK the past few days. There's a new puppy in the house, which I tight was a horrible idea, but he's so cute and sweet. It's hard not to love him. He's really lifted my spirits. It's going to be hard to see him go whenever they finally move out. Maybe I'll get lucky and he'll leave the puppy. It's a lot of responsibility so maybe he won't be able to handle that either.
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  #19  
July 31st, 2014, 05:39 AM
HeartHelloKitty's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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You might want to look into eviction laws in your state to see if he can be evicted since he's not on the lease. I'm glad you went to talk to a lawyer.
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  #20  
July 31st, 2014, 05:46 AM
NaturalRadiance's Avatar Super Mommy
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sonomom15 View Post
The son that you guys have.....I'm assuming that's his son from a previous relationship? Does he live with you guys? I almost can't even believe he's being like that given he already has a child! Seriously! It's not an excuse with your FIRST child, but a least guys have reason to be a little scared with number 1....but number
Yes, the son is from his previous relationship. He doesn't live with us, he's here every Thursday, every other weekend, the entire month of July, and two weeks during winter break. My thoughts exactly, though. Being that he's already a dad I'm shocked at how he's behaving. We've been together for 6 years almost and for as long as I've known him he's talked about wanting another child and how much he hates that he can't be with his son everyday. On top of that his own dad wasn't there and he hates that so I'm just really taken aback.


And it makes it even harder to see Jaiden caught in the middle of all this. He's talked about wanting me to be his step mom for a while now. Now I feel like we are leaving him hanging. I hate to hurt him and I hate to think of not being in his life anymore. He once asked me if I'm going to be there when he goes to college and things like that. I've always told him of course, now it looks like that won't happen. He asked me recently of they move of I will come with them. I think that was the hardest because I had to tell him no and he didn't understand why. I don't want him to feel like I'm abandoning him, I've been in his life since he was 3. I'm not sure what, if anything I can do about that part. I have a pretty decent relationship with his mother so maybe she will allow us to stay in touch, especially since he's going to have a sister.
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