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Can I rant for a minute, please?

Forum: 2014 Playroom


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  • 2 Post By lizbitz16
  • 1 Post By tlc576

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August 8th, 2014, 03:00 PM
lizbitz16's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: Ft. Worth, TX
Posts: 711
I apologize in advance if I come across as spoiled and/or snotty.

I was pushed into making a baby registry by my DH family, I live far away from everyone so I didn't know or expect anything or not that much at least. I was surprised by my friends with a baby shower in June. I'm still young so my friends are too, so we got little things like books, onesies, some diapers. But still had everything big to get.

DH SIL has registry password and was adding everything we needed because I had no idea, so I started getting my hopes up as if we may get more help then initially thought. One of the biggest things was the travel system. First ones in my generation to have a kid, so literally 0 baby stuff to pass down, which means the big things we have to get new. His SIL first told us they're getting us the travel system, which is huge because they're pricey. She didn't, got us a ton of clothes...which was nice, always need clothes. But I was frustrated because don't tell me one thing and do another. His mom then said she'll get us the travel system, super excited again, she doesn't...now she says she's getting us the swing, but I highly doubt we'll get anything.

The real kicker that has had me frustrated is this past weekend we took a trip to LA (the state) to visit DH family, we were really pushed into going versus WANTING to go, guilted into it. While there his DH gf said they're going to get us the stroller system. I got really excited because they're not ones to change their story. I even got DH to go to baby store with me and pick out the one HE liked and then told DH gf.

His dad just called me today asking what the registry info was, etc. Look online and see that he got us a mattress pad and changing pad. Really?? Now, please don't think I'm not thankful, I am. However, when you have in-laws that are as well-off as DH, it's a little disheartening to know they're not willing to help, ESP when they said they would. Not to mention if his family had just told us the darn truth then we could have planned months ago to save up for the carrier and stroller. We wouldn't have gone to LA because that stupid trip cost more than it was worth.

I have no problem getting second-hand stuff, but everything we've gotten is the stuff that I would have felt comfortable getting second hand. Leaving all of the big stuff for us to buy new...carrier, mattress, stroller, bottles, breast milk baggies.

Sorry to rant, and come across as ungrateful. Just tired of having them get my hopes up and excited, then to have it taken away. Also being sick on top of hormones isn't helping my mood. Ugh
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August 8th, 2014, 03:11 PM
MadMay's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: WA
Posts: 645
That really sucks that they told you one thing and did another! That would stress me out. I put big things on my registry and honestly dont expect to get any of it because most of my family are paycheck to paycheck incomes. If it helps at all Toysrus has a really nice stroller for 99$ that I have been eyeing Baby Trend Expedition FX Jogging Stroller - Arctic - Baby Trend - Babies "R" Us ebay and craigslist are a great place to find good deals from other moms!
Theo born 36 1/2 weeks Nov 6th 6lbs 6oz
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August 8th, 2014, 04:01 PM
BlueEyes09's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Aug 2010
Posts: 2,039
You don't sound ungrateful at all, just super disappointed that you've been lied to over and over again. I'm sorry. All this stuff is expensive and most everyone I've ever known to have a baby has had a little bit or a lot of help with these huge purchases. Just remember, there are only a few things you really need new (that car seat being one, you don't want to trust just any car seat) but so much other stuff can be put off til later. I know you'll make it work.

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August 8th, 2014, 05:05 PM
Join Date: May 2014
Location: NJ
Posts: 198
I completely relate to your whole story, right down to the stroller thing. I know how disappointing and frustrating it all is. I'm sorry! I guess the best idea is just to plan to do it all yourself and then you'll only ever be happy when someone gets something. I know it screws up your planning of what you need but it would probably save you some grief. I feel your pain!
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August 8th, 2014, 05:16 PM
jellis82's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: AZ
Posts: 782
So sorry, they really shouldn't have told you they were going to get one thing and then get you something else. I'm bummed for you. Just keep your eyes open for clearance sales on the items you need. Hope someone will come through for you.
Jennifer, wife to Manuel Jr., mommy to Jaely (6/2007), Manuel III (5/2012), and Isabella (10/2014).
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August 8th, 2014, 05:19 PM
lizbitz16's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: Ft. Worth, TX
Posts: 711
Just wish I had known from the beginning so we could have planned our finances. Why are babies so expensive...

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August 9th, 2014, 05:16 AM
BABY3.'s Avatar Veteran
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Florida
Posts: 490
Oh man. That is frustrating. & I totally get what you mean.. it's not like you EXPECTED it but then when they TOLD you to expect it.. HELLOOOOOO?!

Not sure if you are having a boy or girl.. or if you are into zebra.. (LOL) but Walmart has a cheap system for only $109 that is sooooo cute!

Cosco Commuter Travel System - Walmart.com

They have many others too under $150.. You may want to check them out before spending a ton at BRU. Good luck!!

#1 #2 #3 ALL BOYS!!
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August 9th, 2014, 05:52 AM
Super Mommy
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: Rochester, NY
Posts: 911
Very frusterating, and I don't blame you for how you feel!!!! I would remove everything from your registry that you don't need new (I would never get a used car seat for example) and leave it at that. Registries are pretty user-friendly usually, so just take over the work from whomever is doing it for you.

Big ticket items can be bought by a few people chipping in together. And return anything you don't want for store credit so that you can take a chunk out of the price of things that you don't get.

Many stores also give you a discount on anything from your registry that you didn't get, so be sure to put all the big stuff on there!!

One angel baby - 1/22/14
Rainbow baby due 11/13/14

Affiliate Photographer for Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep - Infant Remembrance Photography
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August 9th, 2014, 06:24 AM
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: ohio
Posts: 92
You don't sound spoiled at all. Just disappointed. Are the gifts they gave you items that you would be ok with getting from a thrift store? If so then I would return those gifts ad use the money to get your travel system. I would never use a second hand car seat, and that is one item you can't leave the hospital without.
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August 11th, 2014, 06:24 AM
KellJoO's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 4,116
That would disappoint me too! Especially when you've been told one thing and gotten something else by more than one person. I know we are relying on our family for some of the big ticket items too.

I hope that you get some of the things you NEED. It seems like everyone thinking unpractical when it comes to babies........and gets the cutesy things when you really appreciate the things you USE more.
Mommy to

Brooks Kinlee Barnes
6 lbs 13 oz 18.25"
Two in Heaven
2/7/2013 (6w4d)
5/22/2015 (4w3d)

Expecting a Baby BOY early January 2017!
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