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It could be my hormones, but is this out of line?


Forum: January 2014 Playroom

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  #1  
May 24th, 2013, 06:34 PM
Ame C's Avatar Every breath is a gift.
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There is this woman I used to work with about 2 years ago who is on my facebook. Her and I pretty much never talk on fb besides the occasional comment left on a picture or something like that, but no real conversations. She is about 12 weeks pregnant and due sometime in December. Anyways, I made a post on my fb the other day about how I had heard my baby's heartbeat on my doppler already and immediately I get PM's from her saying she wants a doppler. I go on to tell her how the doppler is pretty cool and how I wish I had one for my first pregnancy. I gave her the link where she could buy one on ebay if she was interested. She says she can't afford one right now and asked if I could possibly buy one for her because she has a bad feeling about her pregnancy.. like something bad is going to happen to her baby. I was a bit shocked but offered to help pay by giving her $15 for it and said I could send her the money through paypal or in the mail. I *think* she got mad at me because her response was "That's not enough I still wouldn't be able to afford it. Never mind I thought you would understand."

She thought I would understand, why? Because I lost my son and I know first hand how scary pregnancy can be??!! I have no knowledge of her having any miscarriage issues or losses of any kind. All I know is she has a beautiful 6 year old daughter. I'm really not sure why she is so worried about this pregnancy except because it was unplanned? Or maybe she is worried because she knows I lost my son??

2 days after that PM I get another PM from her telling me she went to her Dr appointment, had a ultrasound and everything is looking good, heartbeat, measurements, bloodwork, all that BUT she was still worried and was thinking about going in for another ultrasound. I was telling her not to worry and trying to be supportive because I thought that's what she was wanting, my support and love. Then... she asks if I could "help" pay for this extra ultrasound. I told her I couldn't, but, I could still give her a little money for the doppler if she wanted. I get no response from her and 30-60 mins later she posts in her status update on fb "I guess being friendly with someone doesn't make them a REAL FRIEND!!" I couldn't help but feel like that was directed at me but I just brushed it off.

Today I get another PM from her asking if I can come over to her house and use my doppler on her to find the baby's heartbeat because she's worried. I told her I was having really bad nausea. So bad that DH is considering taking me to the ER to get some IV fluids but that if she was that worried I could send DH to her house and have him show her how to use the doppler. Again she tells me "Never mind I thought you would understand."

Okay, WTH?! Am I wrong or is that a little out of line for her to keep saying?! I barely even KNOW this woman. She is older than me and I would imagine more financially stable (maybe not I don't really know) but to keep saying to me "never mind I thought you would understand", that really hurts MY feelings! Yes I understand the fears and all that, but can't she understand I'm probably the last person on her friends list that she should be guilt-tripping into buying her a doppler or ultrasound? Why me? Haven't I been through enough mental mind-F'ing already? Why can't this baby's daddy help her?

I guess this was really more of a vent than anything else... but I just want to know if I'm wrong to get my feelings hurt by this? I feel like she doesn't care about my feelings at all, she is just using me.

Oh by the way... She liked my pregnancy announcement picture so much she asked if I could make an identical one for her... which I DID!!!
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  #2  
May 24th, 2013, 06:39 PM
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No, thats completely uncalled for! you arent her pocket book and she shouldnt expect you to be or try to guilt you into paying for things!
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  #3  
May 24th, 2013, 07:10 PM
lovin to be mommy's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Woahhhh yes totally out of line!! I'm speechless.....
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  #4  
May 24th, 2013, 07:10 PM
Mollyjayne's Avatar Super Mommy
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Sounds creepy as hell. I wouldn't consider her a friend she's a wierdo for sure
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  #5  
May 24th, 2013, 07:47 PM
Ame C's Avatar Every breath is a gift.
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So then I'm not completely crazy. But now it's to the point where I would feel guilty posting on my own facebook about my doppler usage because I know she will be watching and probably be bitter about it all.

What's creepy is her asking me to come to her house which I've never been to although I know she doesn't live to horribly far from me. DH was like "No way! Not without me!!" But yea.. creepy vibes for sure!!
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  #6  
May 24th, 2013, 07:56 PM
Mollyjayne's Avatar Super Mommy
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I dont have tolerance for that. I would just unfriend her. In my opinion, you don't need someone like that in your life.
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  #7  
May 24th, 2013, 08:18 PM
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Ya..I'd probly unfriend her..she sounds like an emotional blackmailer and a user dear..
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  #8  
May 24th, 2013, 08:30 PM
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She is totally creepy. If your hardly friends sheshouldn't be asking you to pay for stuff. I agree with everybody else I would totally unfriend her.
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  #9  
May 24th, 2013, 09:46 PM
Julie321's Avatar Super Mommy
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There's a button for that. It's called delete!
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  #10  
May 24th, 2013, 10:14 PM
Ame C's Avatar Every breath is a gift.
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We used to work together and I *think* she is a good person... I just don't really know where all this came from. Why is she asking ME for all this stuff? Doesn't she think it's inappropriate to ask me of all people for these things? I mean sure.. I should "understand" and I totally do, but if there is something wrong with her baby, she isn't going to find out from the doppler unless her baby has passed away. Even ultrasounds don't show everything.

I would feel really bad deleting her, but *sigh*.. I don't know. She is being weird and rude and stressful! I don't like being put in uncomfortable situations like these. It's just not cool.
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  #11  
May 25th, 2013, 05:14 AM
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Just lurking, but since we are friends I will give you my advice!

1) Weird, creepy, scary etc...delete, delete, delete, delete...I'm sorry, but she sounds like a creepy stalker. All of the things - asking you for money, asking you for more money for a 'different' reason, guilt tripping you at every turn, 'borrowing' your ideas (announcement) are all creep factors. Let me tell you, in my opinion, you do NOT need that in your life!!! And just think, this is only the beginning of your pregnancy...if you don't put a stop to it now, it will only continue and get worse!!! PLEASE don't do that to yourself! It does not really sound like you were 'friends', but more like 'acquaintances' since you have never even been to her house (AND once again creep factor...do NOT go!!!) and you need to cut her loose!

2)You are far too nice and sweet so I can imagine how hard it is for you and it may feel like you are being 'mean'. I completely get that. Sometimes the 'right' thing to do is not always the easiest. I do not think her intentions are to be your 'pregnancy friend' and share her pregnancy with a friend. She comes across as very selfish, only looking out for herself and heartless enough to guilt trip you in the process. Please don't fall for her trap! You are far too good of a person for that crap!!!
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  #12  
May 25th, 2013, 05:35 AM
FDwife153's Avatar Super Mommy
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This woman sounds like a moocher and freeloader. and to guilt trip you is sooooo wrong! Unfriend her and then block her so she cant find you again to send you anymore messages.
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  #13  
May 25th, 2013, 06:07 AM
sareymac's Avatar Mommy to Gary & Adalyn
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Ugh she sounds soooo obnoxious. What is her deal!? She is def outta line. And why should you have to help pay !? That is soooo nice of you for offering. But she sounds terrible. I understand the friends on FB you want to delete and you just cant. UGH!
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  #14  
May 25th, 2013, 06:08 AM
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BLOCK! It's not your responsibility to "understand"... And if she's that stripped financially, a Doppler needs to be the LEAST of her worries.
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  #15  
May 25th, 2013, 06:24 AM
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Sorry hun but that girl seems like she has some unresolved issues or something I woulda blocked her after the second day kudos for being so nice. But I ssy if it causes ya no good stress dnt fret (:
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  #16  
May 25th, 2013, 06:30 AM
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She is completely out of line.
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  #17  
May 25th, 2013, 06:31 AM
seekingrainbow's Avatar Super Mommy
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She seems like a total lunatic. I wouldn't even ask my best friend or my family for money. I couldn't imagine asking someone who I hardly know to BUY me a doppler or help pay for a sono. She seems like a total mooch and I'd be deleting her. You don't need that stress!
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  #18  
May 25th, 2013, 12:08 PM
Ame C's Avatar Every breath is a gift.
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You all make very good points and although I do feel guilty doing it.. it's best I block and delete her. It's not like I haven't ever blocked and deleted people before so I know it's not going to kill me, but I do feel bad. Thanks for all the advice and kind words
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  #19  
May 25th, 2013, 01:32 PM
OatmealKisses's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Unfriendly her. Sooooo inappropriate.
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  #20  
May 25th, 2013, 01:44 PM
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She is WAY out of line....she sounds a little crazy!
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