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O/T I kind of just dont even know what to do.


Forum: January 2014 Playroom

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  • 4 Post By Orangebrittainy
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  #1  
August 25th, 2013, 09:08 AM
sgh's Avatar
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Location: Detroit, Mi
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Shiz kinda hit the fan last night.

My husband and i got into a big fight last night. Basically over stuff we've gotten into fights previously about. He asked me why i was being such a you-know-what, and i told him i am feeling stressed out and kind of depressed lately. I start school next week, i just picked up a little side nanny gig to bring in a few extra bucks and help me keep sane. I asked him to help me more around the house and he told me to go hire someone. I told him i would think about doing that but right now, i needed him to help me. Then it somehow turned into me "not wanting to do anything around the house" and how i "sit on my computer 10 hours a day" and how maybe i "should go live with my mom for a month". I insisted we go to counseling. He said he would go to counseling if i hire someone to help clean "because it's cheaper". Glad to know our marriage now has a price limit....So i started packing. "Wait, dont go." He told me. I told him not to bark if he aint gonna bite, basically.

I left anyway to go stay with my dad (my voice of reason). On the way there, my car broke down (of course) so my dad came out to help me. He tried everything he could (i mean, everything. the man is a car guru) but of course, he could only do so much on the un-lit section of the side of the highway we were on. He tried for about 2 hours and then i texted my husband and asked him if we had AAA, after 30 minutes... still no response. I texted him that i was ordering a tow. 20 minutes after that, he calls me saying not to order it and he was going to call the insurance and try to straighten it out and so on. I explained to him, at that point, there was a police officer standing next to my dad and i saying that it had to be towed immediately and that we were going to be using the tow she ordered regardless. He got upset (shocker.) and we continued with the plan laid out for us. My dad drove me back down (30 miles) to where i needed the car towed to and then back home. We sat outside my house and we talked until about 1 in the morning. He ended up agreeing with me that he thought counseling would be the best step.

So here i am... not really speaking to my husband. Sleeping on the couch. And not only having FTW terrified jitters but now completely uncertain as to what's going to happen. I know things will be "fine" in the long run (i use that term very loosely) but im completely at a loss. Anyways, i thought i would at least let you guys know what's going on as i may be a bit wishy-washy for the next little bit. I will definitely log on and keep posted but i might not be a ball of sunshine in the temporary time to come. Sorry for the super long rant. Thanks for understanding. Stay amazing, ladies!
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  #2  
August 25th, 2013, 10:41 AM
Orangebrittainy's Avatar Queen of Randomocity
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Location: Small Town NC
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Some people think marriage is a piece of cake its more like a souffle that takes a lot of time and effort.
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  #3  
August 25th, 2013, 11:09 AM
avocado.eggrolls's Avatar Proud mama, expecting #2
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Suburbs of DC
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UGH! I am so sorry. I know how it is to have a marriage fall apart during pregnancy. It happened to mine with Lillian. I wont trouble anyone (especially myself lol) with details...but we did separate when Lily was 2 months old. I lived alone with her in our house with my dog Willow. He was....like a evil twin version of the man I always knew, and I actually made several court appointments to take over full custody because honestly, that's where we were. I was HOPELESS. There was no crack of light under the door. NO ONE thought we'd get back together. But, despite all the evil and the heartache, we somehow figured it out. Now a year after we got back together, we feel happy and confident that we should be together. He has worked hard to re-earn his place by my side in our bed.

I know not every troubled marriage will work out, but I'm just saying, you're not alone, your marriage certainly isn't alone and even if you don't see it, there might be hope.

And counseling, while slow going at first, did help us. I'm sure you've heard it before, but a third impartial party is so imperative when communication goes south.

My biggest regret during the whole thing, is that I let it derail my focus from my happiness being pregnant. If I could go back, I would tell myself to let some of the hurt and anger fall away, as hard as it is, because you only have your first pregnancy once. My marriage is either going to work or it isn't, as much as that's hard to face, but the baby is forever and it is pure and perfect.
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  #4  
August 25th, 2013, 11:09 AM
seekingrainbow's Avatar Super Mommy
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Location: Rome, NY
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So sorry you are going through this. My husband and I came VERY close to splitting last summer. I had a job lined up and I had arranged with my mom to move in with her. But with lots of patience and understanding we've somehow made it through the other side. Like Brittainy said, everyone thinks marriage is easy but its not!! It has to be nurtured and taken care of. If one person stops, even for a moment, things get way off balance.
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  #5  
August 25th, 2013, 11:45 AM
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Thanks ladies, your words really help and make me feel like im not so alone
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  #6  
August 25th, 2013, 01:08 PM
jennmommyoftwobeauties's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I think that a lot have issues with their marriages when pregnant because men (not all) just do not understand the changes a woman goes through when pregnant. They think it is a walk in the park and in the long run tend to be rude and not so helpful because of it. It seems that we are bi***es because we complain or have a major amount of hormones running through the system. Or even when we have too much to deal with and are overwhelmed we just want to be lazy and the thought of growing a baby is not taken into account.

We have had some issues with stuff but not too often. Most has been you need some rest and all that but then later if things do not go according to plan it should have been done and the thought is forgotten that I am pregnant.

In the long run I think I have gotten sick from all this and hope that it passes soon.

Sorry was not trying to make that post about me in any way but I wanted to make sure that you knew that it seems that many of us have had some issues. I hope that things are able to be worked out with you guys even if counseling is what you have to do.
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  #7  
August 25th, 2013, 01:46 PM
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Yeah, the past few days, i feel like my uterus is being used as a stress ball. Lots of weird sensations going on... lol
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  #8  
August 25th, 2013, 04:06 PM
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I hope you sort things out. Relationships are difficult. You ll have rough times. Dh and I had a really rough time before Christmas last year. We've got through it now. But it was bad.
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  #9  
August 25th, 2013, 04:55 PM
MommytoZoeAlyssa's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Location: VA
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*hugs* I'm sorry your having troubles. Hopefully counseling will help. Just know we are all here for you no matter what. Your in my prayers hun!
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  #10  
August 25th, 2013, 06:02 PM
sareymac's Avatar Mommy to Gary & Adalyn
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I'm so sorry we are here for you!!
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