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Irritating person at work.....


Forum: January 2014 Playroom

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  • 3 Post By FDwife153
  • 1 Post By Julie321

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  #1  
September 24th, 2013, 05:27 PM
Julie321's Avatar Super Mommy
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Need some advice!!

I am a manager at my job, and responsible for all the hiring. I hired a really sweet girl a couple weeks ago that's a few years older than me, and even in the job interview she was all over my baby bump since she has a couple kids of her own and pregnancy wasn't that long ago for her. She mentioned a couple websites to go to for information, etc. etc. But I found it kind of odd that she was talking like this during a job interview!

Hired her anyway, because she had the experience we were looking for and like I said, was super sweet. I know some people are drawn to pregnant people, and I figured I just have to learn to accept it.

Her first day, she brings me some hand me down baby blankets and little boy socks. Super cute, and appreciated! The thing that makes me uncomfortable, is she is constantly offering pregnancy/baby advice to me in front of other staff. I don't talk much about my pregnancy at work, I find that work is a place to focus on a job, not on baby talk. I am slightly squeamish discussing breastfeeding tactics in front of our 16 year old new hires, and discussing other baby things in the presence of my boss.

I don't want to hurt her feelings by asking her to stop talking to me about pregnancy. She seems like a very sensitive girl and feel like if I don't handle it really gently, I'm going to upset her.

Also getting frustrated that I have a very hands-on job and she is constantly chasing me around trying to get me to put boxes down!! We put away food orders, move fairly heavy items, work many hours on our feet (all of which has been okayed by my doctor!!) Yet every time I pick something up or basically do ANYTHING she is lecturing me on it!

Doesn't matter that I tell her I discussed it with my doctor. She tells me doctors don't know everything (yet she does?!) and that maybe the doctor didn't understand the extent of manual labour I was doing. I explained VERY clearly to my doctor exactly what I did for work, and she said that as long as I was comfortable and not too tired or hurting my back, to keep on keeping on!

Anyone have any advice?

The hormonal part of me wants to just yell "Shut the f*** up!!" Every time she starts lecturing me, but I really don't want to be hurtful to someone that is so nice and honestly has the best intentions. I try to change the subject of baby talk when in the presence of other staff, and constantly tell her I am following my doctor's advice and actually HAVE toned down my lifting since becoming pregnant, but it just won't stop her.

Maybe there is no good advice to be had and I just want to vent. I don't know.

Gah. Frustrated! Anyone else deal with someone like this? If it was family, I would be a little more harsh. But this girl, I just don't have it in me!
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  #2  
September 24th, 2013, 05:34 PM
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Maybe ask a higher-up to talk to her? That does sound annoying... Nice gestures but a bit inappropriate for work
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  #3  
September 24th, 2013, 06:05 PM
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Since you are her manager...have a 1:1 with her .just say that you really appreciate all her concerns, advice, etc...however, you don't feel comfortable discussing it at work as you don't feel it's an appropriate time or place for it. If she continues, I would mention it to your higher up.
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  #4  
September 24th, 2013, 06:28 PM
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I think you are going to have to use your position as manager and pull her to the side and tell her it's not appropriate. That would be really annoying and actually it's disrespectful too. I would never lecture my boss about anything.
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  #5  
September 24th, 2013, 06:28 PM
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I agree ^^^^ I would approach it myself first rather than going to someone higher up first. I would just ask her that she not talk about it at work, as you don't feel comfortable talking about it around others..
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  #6  
September 24th, 2013, 06:29 PM
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I would also recommend giving her back what she has given you, so she doesn't feel like you are taking advantage of her resources. You can be really nice, but just explain that you are capable of handling what you can during your pregnancy and it isn't her business to tell you what you should be doing.

I think you should also tell her that you are happy to talk (since I gather it's allowed) and get to know one another, but the focus shouldn't be on the pregnancy. She is there primarily to do her job and that needs to be her focus. Maybe you could let her know how she may come across to others; but mostly, it's not professional.

A little off topic, but I had hip surgery in 2011 and for like six months after I got approval to do full activities one coworker would insist I stay at my register instead of putting clothes away because she was afraid I'd hurt myself. I felt pretty similarly! But what was worse is she wouldn't even put anything away herself, so I still had to do it all anyways . Some people!
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  #7  
September 24th, 2013, 06:49 PM
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We have a pretty lax work environment, but I still like to be (mostly) professional in front of my staff. I think people feel that because I am young, they can treat me like a friend and not a manager. I like to laugh and joke with my staff as long as all things work-related are getting done properly, and I guess that's my downfall. Really I should be distancing myself from people rather than being friendly. I have no problem answering questions when people ask me my due date or whether I'm having a girl or boy, or if I have names picked out, etc. But asking me whether or not I'm going to breast feed and explaining the best latching technique in front of 16 year old boys that are probably cringing at the thought of my nipples, is just a little too much for me.

I have had the 1:1 with her that I am allowed to lift and will continue doing so, but she continues lecturing me over picking up a 10 pound garbage bag. I haven't said anything yet about the talk in front of co-workers aspect. I've honestly been really not wanting to do so, but it's looking like I have to. And I guess I'm going to have to do it in a more blunt way rather than a friendly "Thanks for your concern, but don't worry about me." that I have already tried.

I could mention this to my higher up and ask him to deal with it, but he is harsh and blunt, and I feel like he would hurt her more than I would and it would just make me look like a coward considering I have the authority to have this conversation with her also. Not only would she think I am being soft and cowardly, he would think that too. LOL And he is always pushing me to be tougher.

As far as returning her stuff: I would if it was anything of value. I wouldn't accept anything worth any sort of money from her (such as a swing, baby monitor, etc.) but am more than okay with a couple blankets and baby socks.

Thanks for the advice guys, looks like I just have to man up
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  #8  
September 25th, 2013, 05:30 AM
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Good luck!
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  #9  
September 25th, 2013, 10:25 AM
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I would most definitely say something a little more blunt and let that be your final talk with her, and if things continue following that I would then mention something tot he highers to address it with her. Sadly she may be one of those that require someone else interfering prior to her actually following through with what has been asked of her. I hope she quits cause I know how very annoying someone can be when telling you what your able to do or vice versa. Especially when you know what your body can and cannot handle.
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  #10  
September 25th, 2013, 11:37 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Julie321 View Post
But asking me whether or not I'm going to breast feed and explaining the best latching technique in front of 16 year old boys that are probably cringing at the thought of my nipples, is just a little too much for me.
ya...the breastfeeding thing is definitely not a work topic. if she asks about circumcision then i would DEFINITELY have a problem as its none of her business as to what your son's weenie will look like. just sayin.
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  #11  
September 25th, 2013, 01:16 PM
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I would be point blank and say, "I appreciate your concern, but right now what I am doing works for me, I am not in any way putting my child in danger and I would appreciate if you will let me do my job. Also, I try not to talk about my personal life at work, So could you please keep our conversations professional, especially in front of others employees."
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