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Taking care of your other kids? I feel like a bad mom :(


Forum: February 2014 Playroom

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  #1  
July 14th, 2013, 04:49 PM
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For those of you who already have little ones, how are you managing current motherhood with the pregnancy?

My son will be 2 in October and it has been a challenge. My husband works a lot so I am home with him by myself a lot, on top of work. With as sick as I have been, it has been really hard being there for him the way I was before. I still care for him and attend to all his needs, but, for example, I haven't been as playful with him as I was before the morning sickness. I've also been moodier and more tired, which translates into me being way more impatient than usual. And I'm just feeling overwhelmed in general. I feel like I haven't been a very good mom lately.

Anyone else feel this way? Is it just the hormones tainting my perspective? I *know* it will all get better once the morning sickness eases up a bit....but, until then... I'm just feeling like such a bad mommy
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  #2  
July 14th, 2013, 05:30 PM
10x_A_Mommy's Avatar formerly mom_of_8
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This being my 9th, I'm used to it but I am far more impatient when I'm pregnant and feel bad for the kids and dh.
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  #3  
July 14th, 2013, 05:43 PM
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I'm extremely blessed, DH has the summer off, so he's been soooo helpful! He lets me sleep in, and take a nap on my days off, he cooks, helps clean, does the shopping, and takes care of DD and I, I don't know what I would do without him. My DD is a really good kid, I try to give her as much of my time as I can when I'm feeling OK, but she will also just cuddle up with me and watch a movie when I'm feeling cruddy.
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  #4  
July 14th, 2013, 05:53 PM
avaught's Avatar mama to sweet 3 yr old
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I've noticed my patience is really thin with ds and dh. You're doing the best you can and it will get better. Hang in there
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  #5  
July 14th, 2013, 06:33 PM
lovemyleah's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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It's hard taking care of my kids while I am pregnant, But I just tell myself, this is just a bump in their road. As long as you are physically there, your baby will be okay. It's hard, and the guilt is intense, but eventually, when your baby has a sibling, everything will be okay.
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  #6  
July 14th, 2013, 07:22 PM
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Thanks, guys. I hope you are right.
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  #7  
July 14th, 2013, 09:35 PM
PrettyMommy's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Well I have 4 others and my oldest is a tremendous help. The younger 3 are so rowdy and my patience is thin anyway, pregnancy makes it worse. My dh does most his work from home so he is here all day typically and helps so much. He cooks and cleans and helps with the kids. I feel bad sometimes cause we have been stuck in the house lately cause I don't want to go anyplace but it will pass and the kids will be ok. At such a young age they are resilient and very forgiving. He won't hold it against you.
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  #8  
July 15th, 2013, 04:54 AM
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My 2 year old was a real mummy boy. Now he much prefers his dad. I don't really play with him as much as I did before and have to sit down alot or dh is there go for a lie down. I just have no energy. I am also more impatient Than I was before with all the kids. I think the older 2 understand but I feel like Alex is quite often disobedient on purpose to get more out of me. For example if I ask him to let me do his nappy, he will run off and I have to chase him. Then when I try to walk him back he goes all floppy so I then have to pick him up!! It's so tiring!!!
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  #9  
July 15th, 2013, 08:11 AM
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I have a 3 year old and a 14 month old and it has been very hard taking care of them. I just tell myself that I will only be sick for a few weeks so I'll get back to being a great mom when the nausea passes.
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  #10  
July 15th, 2013, 09:11 AM
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This is my second and I'm feeling that, too. I haven't been near as sick with this baby as with DD, which is good. I can do most things for her now that I seem to be feeling a little better. Sometimes her really dirty diapers get to me though lol. If DH is home, usually I have him take care of those lol. I was really feeling like a bad mom a couple weeks ago when I pretty much couldn't leave the couch because I was so drained and nauseated. I also know I had to rest or I was just going to be completely useless all day. Don't feel bad about resting when you need to and when you have the opportunity. If DD is content to just watch a little disney junior and play on the floor, I lay on the couch and relax.
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  #11  
July 15th, 2013, 10:20 AM
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Its tough!! I have a 3 yr old and 10 month old. We stay home a lot more. I can definitely relate to your feelings. I feel like a horrible mom lately because i lose my patience much easier. Also since i'm so sick the TV is on most of the day. Thankfully my daughter isn't walking or else i think i'd be in way over my head right now. DH has been very helpful which is great but i do feel guilty for not keeping up on housework well. Keep reminding yourself that this won't last forever and it does not make you a bad mom!
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  #12  
July 15th, 2013, 12:03 PM
sarha81's Avatar First-time Mommy to Jake
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Yes!!! I totally feel like a crummy mom to my 17 month yr old HELLO GUILT. I feel like I'm only giving him a fraction what I used to give him pre-pregnancy. I'm just so darn tired or sick, and I'm quick to lose my temper. DH has stepped up a bit, especially with our night routine, but I'm still doing most of the cooking/cleaning, and I'd rather spend my energy with Jake. He doesn't get that.
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  #13  
July 15th, 2013, 12:57 PM
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That's normal. I have a 2 year old as well but luckily I also have a 6 and 7 year old to watch him and keep him company a bit. The kids have been watching way too much TV because I've been too tired to take them outside or set up an activity. But the older ones understand that the pregnancy is making me this way and I will get past it in a few weeks. I feel a bit bad as this is summer vacation and they should be having more fun. But I call over my niece and brother from time to time and they pay them more attention. (my hubby works nights so he's not around much either)
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  #14  
July 16th, 2013, 11:29 PM
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It has been *really* difficult for me. My toddler is very active and obviously needs constant supervision. I've been trying to do a lot of calm activities inside with him. I will admit, some days I run out of things to do and really need to rest, so I let him watch tv for a while. Hopefully in a few weeks I will feel better and he won't even remember how lazy I was
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  #15  
July 17th, 2013, 04:33 AM
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Reading all of these posts is making me feel very nervous. I feel fine. ..I mean, I'm a little queasy here & there but nothing like what you girls are mentioning. Yesterday I did a couple hours in the pool with the kiddos (ages 4 & 1 ˝), played soccer, climbed a tree, went for a long walk & played in puddles.. hubs isn't even in town right now so all the meals & cleaning are on me... you girls are freaking me out a little. I wish there was like a little sign that came with pregnancy that said "Yes, everything is fine."
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  #16  
July 17th, 2013, 07:42 AM
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Don't freak out. Everyone is different. For me, the beginning of the pregnancy is the worst part of the whole experience (last time it was even worse than the labor)! For other women, however, the end of the pregnancy is far worse. Some women coast through the whole thing relatively easily, and others have a difficult time throughout. I understand feeling nervous when you read things on here that don't seem to correlate with your experience, but you have to remember that it seems more likely people will post when they are struggling a bit and in need of support. When everything is fine, it seems like someone would be more likely to just lurk and so you don't hear from the people who aren't having the symptoms other people are reporting.
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  #17  
July 17th, 2013, 07:53 AM
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Yep I have a 3 year old and a 2 year old. I feel so bad that I don't do as much with them as I used to. I just have no energy and feel so sick all the time. I hope we all feel better soon!
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  #18  
July 17th, 2013, 11:34 PM
PrettyMommy's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Quote:
Originally Posted by shell1981 View Post
My 2 year old was a real mummy boy. Now he much prefers his dad. I don't really play with him as much as I did before and have to sit down alot or dh is there go for a lie down. I just have no energy. I am also more impatient Than I was before with all the kids. I think the older 2 understand but I feel like Alex is quite often disobedient on purpose to get more out of me. For example if I ask him to let me do his nappy, he will run off and I have to chase him. Then when I try to walk him back he goes all floppy so I then have to pick him up!! It's so tiring!!!
my 2 yr old, Bryce, does the same exact thing. I get so tired of him running off and I have to chase him. And he does the limp thing too. Just lets his legs give out and i have to pick him up. My 3 yr old pulls that often also and he is freakin heavy so i get very irritated when he goes limp.
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