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Ugh, family! (Semi-rant)


Forum: February 2014 Playroom

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  #1  
August 25th, 2013, 10:32 AM
Nerd
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Southeast, US
Posts: 3,040
My husband and I are so excited to be scheduled for an ultrasound at a private clinic on Wednesday to find out the sex of our baby. My husband's brother already has two kids and he did not find out the sex before birth. Imagine my surprise when husband's mother and my father both tell me, "Do not tell me the sex. Let it stay a surprise!" Really? I understand they want to be surprised but I'm stressing over how suddenly I'm in charge of filtering everything I show and say to them. How are they supposed to be a part of my pregnancy if they don't want to know boy or girl? I am SURE we will have sex specific items like clothes and blankets. I'm not going to HIDE those. And now I can't put an announcement on FB because mother-in-law is friends with me on there.

I am not mad and I understand that they want to be so excited and thrilled when we have the baby... But in the meantime I'm frustrated at the pickle this puts me in. Can anyone relate? What would you do?
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  #2  
August 25th, 2013, 10:45 AM
melaniek85's Avatar Frankie and Ronin's mommy
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Glen Burnie, Md
Posts: 3,422
That sucks!

Me personally, I wouldn't go out of my way To hide things and filter what I say. I would still make a Facebook announcement but tell them ahead of time I was going to do it, so they can avoid your page if they want. You should be able to announce it because you're excited and I'm sure there are others that are excited to hear the news. I don't have any real advice, sorry I can't offer more.
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  #3  
August 25th, 2013, 10:48 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Feb 2010
Posts: 1,722
That sucks! I don't think it should be up to you to hide it. If your MIL doesn't want to know, then she needs to block you on FB. You shouldn't have to alter your plans for revealing the sex because they don't want to know. Will she not be at any of your showers? One of the big purposes for finding out what you're having is so people can buy you gender specific gifts! I would be irritated too. They had their chance at being surprised with their own children. This is yours...

Just my opinion
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  #4  
August 25th, 2013, 12:07 PM
Veteran
Join Date: Jun 2013
Posts: 159
Wow! I I would be incredibly irritated. I would have a conversation with her ( or have your your husband do it) and explain how that really can not work. Like Julie said, will she be at your showers? And does she expect you to not register for gender related items?!
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  #5  
August 25th, 2013, 12:07 PM
NewGurl's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: USA
Posts: 2,339
sorry but its not thier kid do your thing just tell them you will be announceing and shareing your pregnancy and if they want to avoid that information its up to them to do so.
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  #6  
August 25th, 2013, 12:11 PM
Nerd
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Southeast, US
Posts: 3,040
I'm glad this irritation is not all in my head, that you ladies would feel it too. Good question about baby showers and registries. I think for the sake of maintaining the relationship right now I will try to avoid conversations about the sex of the baby, but there will probably come a time that Dad and my mother-in-law will be able to figure it out. Sigh. Why can't family be more simple?
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Expecting our first child in February... Team pink!
1st beta 14dpo = 150
2nd beta 18dpo = 782
3rd beta 23 dpo = 5,362
Missing my puppy, but grateful to have shared a bond with her for two years.
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  #7  
August 25th, 2013, 12:18 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Nebraska, USA
Posts: 1,021
Could you approach them with your concerns (fb and gender specific items) and trek them that you don't want to hurt their feelings, but you know these things could give away the surprise? Just let them know your not trying to offend them, you just want to celebrate every step of your first pregnancy... and finding out the gender is important for you and dh?
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  #8  
August 25th, 2013, 01:01 PM
Jibby's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Hell, also known as Arizona ;)
Posts: 1,406
It makes me upset when people make experiences like this about them. I wouldn't go ou of my way to filter. If they find out they do. Having a baby is surprise enough lol
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  #9  
August 25th, 2013, 06:12 PM
victoria0294's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 1,083
Wow. I would be so annoyed! This is not about them, it's about you and your DH. I think it's selfish of them to ask you to do that, it's not their baby!
Maybe if a conversation isn't going to be a good idea, after you find out the gender you should just let it slip out, like saying you're so excited to meet 'him' or 'her' instead of the baby or something like that.
Ugh, families! Good luck
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  #10  
August 25th, 2013, 08:22 PM
PrettyMommy's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Nevada
Posts: 2,184
I wouldn't filter or hide. They would have to be the ones to go out their way to avoid it. It's your pregnancy, you should do it exactly how you want. Each pregnancy is an experience you only get one chance with each child. I wouldn't let family dictate how it goes.
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Last edited by PrettyMommy; August 25th, 2013 at 08:47 PM.
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