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rant about my mother...


Forum: February 2014 Playroom

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  #1  
September 16th, 2013, 07:51 AM
OscarsPaprika's Avatar Strong proud Army wife ;)
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Bragg, North Carolina
Posts: 680
So, my mother and I had a falling out over a month ago. She lied to a government agency about a large sum of money and how she got it and lost her state aid benefits. Well, she started pushing all her problems on me, which isn't anything new, but, I'm really tired of it. I told her I didn't need the stress of her issues and if she could calmly tell me about things instead of overreacting I would listen. She tried to guilt me into telling her she could stay with us and it didn't work. Last time she was up here she was only here for a week and made perverted jokes about everything, she smokes and burned holes in one of my favorite blankets because she takes too many pain killers and starts falling asleep all over the place, she wastes food, doesn't shower, and got upset because I'm honest and I'm not going to sugar coat things anymore for a 50somethingyear old. Well, she decided to block me from calling her so after 2 tries, I didn't bother anymore. So, for over a month, I didn't hear a word from her. I was actually fine with this, I have no use for someone like her, parent or not and I did try a little so I just let it go.
The other day she starts text messaging me about a month long trip to go see my youngest sibling, who I have absolutely nothing to do with either. She's a compulsive liar and I was done caring more than 5 years all at this point. So, I told her off about the younger one and figured that was the end of it. Nope, no such luck I guess. She started a pity party about how tired she was and she doesn't know what she's going to do, she bothers everyone she's around, blah blah blah. Well, I just got quiet and she has the nerve to say I'm the one who's being unreasonable and didn't try to talk to her. I almost went off, I mean really?! So, instead of going off I just told her she blocked me and I gave up I didn't realize that was unreasonable. She comes back with her phone was broken and nobody could talk to her. Then says my grandmother sent her money while she was visiting my sibling to get a new phone so she could continue to talk to her. Well.... way to out your lie about a broken phone. Still, I've held my composure. However, I'm on the edge of changing my number to get rid of her. I know that sounds harsh but she's text messaging me everyday multiple times a day telling me she loves me and she misses my son, how she wishes she was closer. I'm ready to scream! She thinks being a parent means you can treat your kids however you want and they should always shut up and have respect. I'm not of that mindset and at this point I'd rather her go back to harassing the compulsive liar who lays around all day spitting out more kids to get more state aid money.
I'm sorry for the long mean post I just have nowhere to get it out where people might understand where I'm coming from.. everyone except my husband who knows her all to well (she tried to say he tried to sleep with her when she was living in my house causing problems between him and i) is telling me she deserves another chance and I feel I've given her enough...
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  #2  
September 16th, 2013, 05:15 PM
Brookem's Avatar Veteran
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Oregon
Posts: 346
I don't think your post in mean. I have a mother that I have had a pretty choppy relationship with and I really get it. Lots of positive energy t you! You need this time in your life for happiness and baby growing.

I went a while without talking to my mom and even after we started talking I invited everyone except her to Thanksgiving (and told her that) because she ruins a lot of holidays. I really get it. My only big thought is this: For me, I am happy we talk again because her lifestyle is not healthy and safe and it could be taken from her in an instant. If that were to happen it would be me left feeling guilty and broken for the rest of my life. I choose to have a relationship with her on my terms only. Screen phone calls, she does not babysit, etc.

I am happy to talk to you sidebar if you want someone to listen that can completely relate!
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  #3  
September 16th, 2013, 07:06 PM
PrettyMommy's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Nevada
Posts: 2,945
Yup in that same boat. My mom is a pain in the butt. I thought most people's moms were way better then mine but it seems there are a string of not so great moms out there. My mom has barely ever worked in her life, been on and off welfare forever, more on then off. Finally scammed her way to getting disability when she barely turned 50. Has section 8 to pay her rent and her disability covers all her other utilities. She doesn't know how to drive so she bugs people constantly to take her here and there. When I finally stopped jumping to her every request she says I don't want to do anything for her. If someone can't take her where she needs to go then she goes on a rant about how no one ever does anything for her. Now this is a woman who the tax payers are pretty much doing EVERYTHING for her, and who gets around and never catches a bus or a cab. Her rides are ALWAYS by someone else means and gas. She expects me to financially help her take care of my 15 yr old sister, even though my dh is the only one working and we have soon to be 6 kids of our own. She is mean, quick tempered and even tried to get my ex to take custody of my oldest when she and I had an argument and she didn't like how I talk to her. She told him lies and advised him to "get his son" from me. So yeah, know all about what your going through. I deal with my mom only so she can see the kids every now and then. And even that is becoming too much. I may see her 3 times a month. She is definitely someone I can do without in my life though and dh can't stand her after the stuff he has witnessed from her. I sympathize with you on the frustration of it all.
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  #4  
September 17th, 2013, 07:11 AM
OscarsPaprika's Avatar Strong proud Army wife ;)
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Bragg, North Carolina
Posts: 680
It would be helpful to have someone to talk to about it that isn't dh, I appreciate it I just don't understand some people. Her lifestyle is dangerous as well, she did the same thing as far as convincing disability. Matter of fact that's who she lied to. My brother was in an accident 7 years agoandshe got his workers compensation attorney to cut her a large check, thought she was being smart by having it put in his name, and used a large chunk of it to buy a double wide that's too big in a senior citizen living community saying she was setting it up for my brother when he left his wife. They found out about her place at social security which led to finding out how she got the money, and lost her benefits. She called me saying she was going to prison and she wanted me to do what I could to send my brother to jail too. I backed up and pretty much told her to get a grip and she started going off on me and I told her I didn't need the stress. She's convinced any doctor she's seen that she has fibromyalgia and needs heavy duty medicine for it which she was getting for a long time but when it became a recognized disorder and the treatment was not pain meds, the withdrawal actually put her in the hospital but again she got them to think it was something else. Now she takes handfuls of migraine meds to get messed up and with the loss of her insurance, she won't be getting anything. Which is dangerous since she got some doc to put her on unneeded blood pressure meds and cardiac stuff she doesn't need but she's been on long enough it's dangerous to just stop.
What makes people like that tick? How can you be ungrateful for people giving you rides everywhere, why does it seem it is so easy to abuse state aid, and how can you treat your kids like these women do?? I realize it makes us better parents but that's a huge price to pay when some actual love and a good example could do the same thing..
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