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Let baby cry??


Forum: February 2014 Playroom

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  #1  
February 26th, 2014, 11:50 PM
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It seems as a new mom there are so many people giving advice about "back in my day" life lessons. I appreciate all advice but one that I'm trying deal with is the let the baby cry philosophy. My aunt gets on me and says don't pick him up too much, if I've fed him, burped him, and changed him and he's crying just let him or he'll always cry to be picked up. At night he wakes up ever 1.5-2.5 hours and it's hard but I expected that. He does cry and I try to catch him before he gets too angry but I have to change his diaper and that just pisses him off good. The question is I have a bassinet in bed that allows me to co-sleep but I feel more comfortable b/c he is isolated in it and I keep him with one blanket below shoulders or swaddled if he lets me wrap him. When he sleeps in his bassinet he wakes every 1.5-2 hours like clockwork and will cry and fuss and fall asleep on me, then I put him in bassinet and sometimes he pops right back up and the process begins again! Last nights around 4AM I was exhausted and just could not let him cry as suggested and let him stay cuddled with me in bed- he slept for 4 hours! I woke up fresh as a daisy and had to wake him up! But I'm scared of covers and pillows when he sleeps outside of bassinet...any advice on this would be great.
Do you let your baby cry if you know he/she is fine and just wants attention?
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  #2  
February 27th, 2014, 03:30 AM
10x_A_Mommy's Avatar formerly mom_of_8
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Tennessee
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Addie sleeps with me every night (as did all my other babies at some point). She wakes up and I don't even have to move to feed her.

Make sure you have a light, breathable blanket on the bed and don't have baby close to the pillows and its all good
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  #3  
February 27th, 2014, 04:15 AM
rnholly's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Location: Alabama
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^ Ditto. Jackson and now Addie bed shared when they were infants. They sleep soooo much better! I do put her in her co sleeper by the bed at times, but usually I lay her by me; making sure no pillows are near her face and she has her own lightweight blanket.
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  #4  
February 27th, 2014, 05:53 AM
NewGurl's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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ok 1st im very anti CIO (cry it out) so im going to be pretty biased here but IMO its terrible advice......of course babies are crying they need you for everything. i never got the but its just for comfort rebuttle either. since when is comfort not a legitimate need? I know if i were upset and went to my better half for comfort an he told me to deal with it id lose my **** lol.

that being said I know its taxing nigh impossible to be up all night with a baby every time it cries but for me listening to it cry instead is no less taxing in fact for the baby its much more so it raises their stress levels & lowers there sleep amont and quality makeing a deadly cycle heres a pretty indepth list of research based articals ect on sleep training if you want to go indepth on your own peaceful parenting: Sleep Training: A Review of Research

so if babies are going to cry and moms are going to need a break what on earth do you do right? well i decided to cosleep as well. to me it just makes sense cosleeping is centurys old and still practiced in most of the world when done properly its completly safe and most importantly we all get to sleep well for the most part lol. heres a pretty commonly recommended bed shareing guide. Safe Co-sleeping Habits | Ask Dr Sears® | The Trusted Resource for Parents

it wont fix everything even cosleeping mommas have there melt downs lol but in my experiance it has helped you may feel a bit more touched out but id rather touched out then worn out in the end though do whats right for you its not your aunts baby its not your grandmas baby its not your pediatricians baby its yours do your research and follow your gut good luck momma.
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  #5  
February 27th, 2014, 06:59 AM
melissalaw's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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At this age I think they are too young to let them cry. They need to be held and comforted. I am like you and I'm terrified to allow baby to sleep with me so I have my little one in the bassinet right beside the bed but he usually goes to sleep very easily. I know alot of moms who do bed share and swear by it though.

And just do what you feel comfortable doing and tell those with the back in the day stories to stick if they are telling you to do something that you don't want to do.
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  #6  
February 27th, 2014, 07:26 AM
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Thanks ladies!!
I just can't let him cry either it's too much for me to try to sit out his angry tears. I try to put him in the bassinet and it works during nighttime okay but around 4-6 AM he wants to be beside me and I put him in there. I agree it's been done for so long for a reason! Today we slept from 6:40-10 after being up every two hours..can you say relief! Now, I'm a single mom so it's not realistic for me yo hold him every second I put him in his rocker with a paci when I pump and sometimes he'll cry but he's right beside me and it's because HUD paci fell out.
I figure one day I'll be crying to hold him so I do pick him up when he cries..he's just too cute man.
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  #7  
February 27th, 2014, 12:43 PM
*Ade*'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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A baby does not know how to manipulate you. They are surviving purely based on instinct. I do not think any baby, especially at this age, has any business crying it out.
As far as sleep-if you're safe, co sleeping shouldn't be any more risky than any other part of their life right now. We have co slept/bed shared with 3 out of our 5 so far. Our second preferred his own space, though now at age 5 almost 6, he much prefers the cuddles and closeness. Romen does fine sleeping in his bassinet, and twice I've brought him to bed with me and he didn't seem to care for it. So, so far, we don't co sleep with him, but I would in a second if I needed to.
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  #8  
February 28th, 2014, 11:12 AM
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I'm just visiting from the May DDC, but I saw this and wanted to offer some help. Check this out: How to Help Your Newborn Baby Sleep Guide

Best baby sleep website on the internet by a LOT, in my opinion. I am not opposed to using a cry it out sleep training technique (I did it with my son when he was 7 months) BUT it is a LAST RESORT which can often be avoided by using other methods in the early months, and it's definitely never appropriate for newborn babies. That tiny baby needs you and your mama instincts to respond to him are right on!

Tell your aunt your pediatrician advises never to let your newborn baby cry it out! (You can go ahead and ask your pediatrician if you don't want to lie, but I'm pretty sure he or she would say absolutely not for a babe so young.)

Also, I coslept with my newborn and will do it again this time. Baby and I got SO MUCH MORE sleep that way. Good luck, and congratulations! :-)
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  #9  
February 28th, 2014, 06:22 PM
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Lurking from the Jan playroom. I have five girls and have bed shared with each of them. If done right it is just as safe as crib sleeping IMO. Our old pedi harped on SIDS all the time bec he knew we bed shared. SIDS is linked to an abnormality in the brain not bed sharing. It happens to lots of babies in their crib on their backs. I would not let babies cry it out. If they are crying they need something. Even if that is just to know you are near. Babies become much more secure knowing that someone answers them when they need it.

I usually swaddle our baby girl and then put her higher up in the bed so she is no where near my blankets. you don't want them to be able to roll into the blankets or pillows. Our new pedi went through the list and asked if baby slept in a crib. I said nope. she says with you? Yes. How does she sleep... We sleep well! I didn't give her a chance to harp on it.

Bottom line is you have to do what works for you and your baby. Babies only know what they have experienced. They Are used to having momma right there with them 24/7. I hope you figure out what works for you and your lil one. (((HUGS)))
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  #10  
March 1st, 2014, 09:47 AM
Kalia20's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I only let her cry if I have to pee other than that she cries cause she needs something. When older is different but not anytime soon.
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  #11  
March 1st, 2014, 03:40 PM
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I've found that if I set him down before he's quite fallen asleep and then stay there till he does on his own he'll sleep for a much longer stretch. It's hard to catch him at just the right sleepiness level though.
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  #12  
March 2nd, 2014, 12:10 AM
Tiggerlb's Avatar Veteran
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Brian sleeps with me also (as did my others). I go to sleep and wake to the exact position I fell asleep with him still cradled in my arms. He also sleeps better next to me. So I say while they are young like this going to them right away when they cry is the thing to do. but when they get older like 7+months and you notice they are crying just to get you to come to them when they are fine that is when you start the let them go for a bit so they can learn to self sooth. It is a lesson I learned with dd1. And it took me till she was 3.5 yrs old to break the crying just for attention. So it is still up to u in the end on what you want to do and you have some advice and other peoples experiences to help you out in your choice.
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  #13  
March 2nd, 2014, 08:11 AM
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I am also anti-CIO. I believe that babies cry for a reason. There are a lot of other sleep training methods that work much better and are way more sensitive to baby. None of them will work yet though lol. Now is just "survival" stage. Do what you have to do to get through it!

That being said though....my SIL did CIO and I totally supported her. She was a single mom and waking up every 1-2 hours just got to be too much for her. She let him cry about 50% of the time because she was just too upset and stressed out to be safely dealing with baby all the time. He was extremely fussy and screamed 24/7. Tough baby....

With my DD we co-slept but when she was teeny we had this little mini basinet thing that went in between me and DH. DH is a really really sound sleeper so I was worried that he might lay too close to her. She slept AMAZING even in this thing since it had such low sides I just layed with my arm surrounding her inside the basinet. They sell them at toys r us. Not sure if I'll get one this time since we had a bedside bassinet....
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