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Picking A Name Rant!


Forum: March 2014 Playroom

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  #1  
September 19th, 2013, 11:23 AM
luckygirl777's Avatar Veteran
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Is anyone else withholding telling family and friends their name choices? At first my fiance and I were telling our families about the names we were considering but have come to realize that we don't really want their opinion on it... for instance we love the name Hope for a girl but his mom said "That is really not a good first name." Umm...so if we have a little girl and name her Hope I feel like we'll always remember her saying that wasn't a good name. We had mentioned the name Gemma as well and people kept pointing out there's a lady on sons of anarchy that is named that. When we mentioned naming a boy after my fiance my mom was like "well we already have a David, isn't one enough, won't that be confusing..." Has anyone else experienced this? It's frustrating but at this point we're just going to tell anyone that asks about names that we have a few picked out that we like and keep it between us.
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  #2  
September 19th, 2013, 11:28 AM
one.juniper's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Ugh. We had this problem with our first. We are not discussing names with anyone this time around. I don't want my favourite names ruined.
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  #3  
September 19th, 2013, 12:15 PM
Nicole1481's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I learned 3 babies ago that someone always has something negative to say. We will decide on a name & that's, that. IDC what everyone else thinks
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  #4  
September 19th, 2013, 12:37 PM
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My mother in law just asked me that today via email and I told her what we like so far and immediately regretted it! She will tell everyone and I am sure she will hate both names. She never responded!
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  #5  
September 19th, 2013, 12:51 PM
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We are not sharing name possibilities either. I will always remember how I found exactly the wedding dress I had been dreaming of, but when I tried it on for my best friend, I could tell by the look in her eyes she didn't like it, even though she said it was pretty. I ended up going with a different dress that everyone said I looked great in, but I never felt the same way about it. I have always regretted not wearing the dress I wanted to wear for my one and only wedding day.

I don't want the same thing to happen for the one and only chance we will get to name this baby. People feel like they can criticize your name choices before the baby is born, but once the name is in place, they have to accept it. Or at least only criticize it behind your back!

By the way, I know you are not looking for opinions here. But I LOVE the name Hope. And I think Gemma is really pretty too. Who cares about Sons of Anarchy??? It's just a TV show no one will remember in 10, 20 years. Besides, tons of people are naming their babies Jax these days, which is a great name, even though the star of the show is called that....
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  #6  
September 19th, 2013, 01:12 PM
Sarah:Marie:IVF:Mommy's Avatar Proud mom of Leiland
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lo I understand. My son is Leiland and everyone points out Dog the Bounty hunters son. NO I DIDN"T NAME HIM AFTER THAT GUY. I shouldn't even have to say that. I refuse to 100% decide on a name before my kids born for that reason as well as I don't want people sending personalized items then me seeing baby and changing the name. I don't mind saying well these are the names we are considering. If someone doesn't like one I don't care. My baby my choice thats how I look at it. And no matter one they will learn to love it because they love the baby.
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  #7  
September 19th, 2013, 01:26 PM
luckygirl777's Avatar Veteran
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Kinda glad to hear I'm not alone on this one. For awhile I was thinking how rude our family members can be but it sounds like this is a fairly common issue. I've never even seen an episode of Sons of Anarchy but apparently everyone else has lol. I think once we find out if it's a boy or girl we will just pick out a few names we like and once the baby is born we will see what he/she looks like and go with what feels right. I don't mind opinions from forum members at all and think it can be pretty helpful but when it's a family member and they give you negative feedback it seems a lot worse since that person will be in the child's life. Also, I love the name Leiland and even though I have watched dog the bounty hunter I would have never assumed you named your child after some stranger on tv lol, we've considered the name Leilani for a girl. I grew up on Maui and had a best friend with that name, very nice names and not something you hear that often!
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  #8  
September 19th, 2013, 03:00 PM
Sarah:Marie:IVF:Mommy's Avatar Proud mom of Leiland
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Thats what we like about it. Different yet not weird. Its making picking the next ones name really hard. But as you can imagine we get a lot of opinions because we don't want typical common names. We are Tim and Sarah. We prefer unique names.
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  #9  
September 19th, 2013, 03:09 PM
Alaska Baby14's Avatar Gonna be a family of 4!
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We didn't really have any problems, usually it's me trying to find a name and thinking of a celebrity or something else it reminds me of! Of course my husband had friends telling him names we should name her! Lol but that was about as bad as it got! But I like the name hope!
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  #10  
September 19th, 2013, 04:36 PM
MandyEllen's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Through our years of trying to have a baby, we have told our #1 boy's name. Wouldn't you know one of our friends took it? DH was sooo mad. So we aren't sharing names. Plus, our names aren't common so we don't need thoughts and opinions.
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  #11  
September 19th, 2013, 05:03 PM
one.juniper's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Last time I was pregnant my MIL had the nerve to ask us if "we could all sit down and decide on a name together that everyone likes." Everyone meaning her and my FIL.

Who does that?
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  #12  
September 19th, 2013, 05:19 PM
JTsquared's Avatar Co-Host of Feb 2012 PR
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Sounds like we all have very opinionated MILs. Lol. Mine didn't like the name Cooper, but I didn't care. And when I told her we were naming this baby Sydney, she said "that's nice" but I know she didn't mean it. She said just don't make it too long of a name, like my SIL did with her daughters (her last name is 4 syllables). She said she was furious when she picked her girls names. Furious? Really? It's not your kid or your decision. Ugh.

Bottom line, pick your name, and if you tell people, be prepared to not care if they are negative. It's your child, you decide the name, no one else.

Quote:
Originally Posted by MandyEllen View Post
Through our years of trying to have a baby, we have told our #1 boy's name. Wouldn't you know one of our friends took it? DH was sooo mad. So we aren't sharing names. Plus, our names aren't common so we don't need thoughts and opinions.
My best friend was thinking of using Sydney for her daughter who is due next month, as soon as we found out it was a girl I texted her to make sure she wasn't using it, I would have been heartbroken!
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  #13  
September 19th, 2013, 06:39 PM
luckygirl777's Avatar Veteran
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Opinionated is putting it nicely in my case lol. We've already had issues about religion brought up by his side of the family. We were both raised Catholic and come from families that both are devout. We however do not go to church and aren't part of that religion even though we're both very spiritual people. Not having the baby baptized is going to be an issue but more so on his side of the family because mine have accepted it and moved on. I just hope his family lets it go.

I'm also having difficulty deciding whose last name the baby will have since we are not married. We've been together for 6 years and engaged for half that time, a wedding and marriage isn't on the top of our priority list. He has already said the baby can have my name, his or both. I hate the thought of our baby having a different last name than me so we'll probably hyphenate it but it'll be a mouth full! This parenting gig sure comes with a lot of choices!
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  #14  
September 19th, 2013, 09:33 PM
maybethistime's Avatar Super Mommy
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We don't tell names either. I like people to be completely surprised and not knowing what the name options are. If given the chance my MIL would most definitely have an opinion regarding names we like. She's always giving me name ideas which is annoying and I have hated every. single. one.
I like the name Gemma a lot
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  #15  
September 19th, 2013, 09:52 PM
Mrs. D's Avatar Super Mommy
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Everyone seems to think that your only two options are to dismiss every name people don't like or to not discuss names at all beforehand. Isn't there a nice middle ground here? I think you can tell people the names you're considering, listen to their comments and suggestions, take their advice, and also choose a meaningful name you love for your child. Of course you won't find one name that everyone agrees with. You can't please everyone. But if you are considering naming your kid "Ghoti" and pronouncing it "fish", and everyone you talk to says that's nuts...well, maybe they're right. Lol

BTW Ghoti - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
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  #16  
September 20th, 2013, 08:41 AM
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I have my top names that stay between me and the hubs. Made the mistake last time of telling my mom and sister that my favorite name of all was Madalynn!! (Which is what we named my DD) my mom told my aunt who's daughter was pregnant and guess what they named their daughter!!! I was sooooo mad!!! My daughter was named first and was born first so the entire family can tell who stole the name from whom. But the fact that they did that made me mad!! This time my lips are sealed and when they ask I tell them a name I know we arent going to use because dh has already turned it down lol!!
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  #17  
September 20th, 2013, 09:25 AM
one.juniper's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JTsquared View Post
Sounds like we all have very opinionated MILs. Lol. Mine didn't like the name Cooper, but I didn't care. And when I told her we were naming this baby Sydney, she said "that's nice" but I know she didn't mean it. She said just don't make it too long of a name, like my SIL did with her daughters (her last name is 4 syllables). She said she was furious when she picked her girls names. Furious? Really? It's not your kid or your decision. Ugh.

Bottom line, pick your name, and if you tell people, be prepared to not care if they are negative. It's your child, you decide the name, no one else.



My best friend was thinking of using Sydney for her daughter who is due next month, as soon as we found out it was a girl I texted her to make sure she wasn't using it, I would have been heartbroken!

I know that sucks, but if it was me I'd name my baby what I wanted anyways, even someone close took it. My cousin names her son (who is 2.5) Austin but they call him Oz as a nickname. Well I loved the name Oz and wasn't about to not name our son it just because they also use it. For all I know he'll stop going by that once he's in kindergarten.
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  #18  
September 20th, 2013, 11:39 AM
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Update: I got an email back from my MIL that she absolutely LOVES the names I chose and will not tell anyone. Hm, I misjudged her. She even told me that the boy name I chose is the name she chose if her (41 year old) daughter had been a boy.
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  #19  
September 23rd, 2013, 12:37 PM
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We don't really have any set in stone, so we just say we're still working on it. In the end, someone won't like it. Oh, well. It's your child. If they don't like it, it's their problem! haha

And no way would I have a group meeting with my in-laws to have them be part of the naming! I might laugh if she asked. :whoops:
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  #20  
September 23rd, 2013, 01:05 PM
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Oh the topic that never fails to cause grief.
Wife and I are negotiating name and MIL asked a few weeks ago.
Wife and I have settled on a girls name Zoe Amelia (Zoe sort of for zooey Deschanel but really we just like it, and Amelia for Amy Pond of Dr Who She Rocked)

But boys names we haven't figured out so my MIL was being adimate about a few names in my wife in spite said it will be Benedict yes Benedict for Benedict Cumberbatch (We love him). Mil just said WHAT BENEDICT??!?!?!
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