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Will you be recording kick counts?


Forum: March 2014 Playroom

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  #21  
November 15th, 2013, 12:29 PM
Melissa.Anne's Avatar Veteran
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: Burlington, Ontario
Posts: 139
Ok I agree, the circumcision thing is a very HARSH opinion of mine, and I shouldn't have brought it up. I can be very opinionated on certain 'hot topics' and I will do my best to be cognizant of anyone I could be offending in the future.
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  #22  
November 15th, 2013, 01:09 PM
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I also don't like to get involved, but I think this was a good question, and for me personally, it made me aware (even though I am on my 5th child), that this is something that might be recommended at a certain point.
So even though personally I probably will not dedicate time to it each day (which was the question), I have learned something. There is never anything ridiculous about learning something. Being close minded and calling something ridiculous and then bringing up an unrelated topic (I made an educated decision to circumsize my boys after much research). I am offended by the remark that I mutilated my boys. That is quite dramatic. The first response was not rude, but a bit harsh. But that one was judgelmental of others and I take offense. This may be a public forum, but we are not all of the same beliefs, and as in real face-to-face life, we need to respect each other. Save your judgements for those who you have a right to judge. Now maybe I am coming across as the rude one, so I am sorry to all. But at least I am respectful.
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  #23  
November 15th, 2013, 01:24 PM
Melissa.Anne's Avatar Veteran
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Location: Burlington, Ontario
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I am sorry for my comment on circumcision. It was totally uncalled for. I was flustered by feeling I was not properly being understood, and instead of helping to make myself understood, I dug myself in a deeper hole. I really am not this horrible person who judges others for their decisions, and it literally makes me sick to my stomach at the thought that I am being perceived that way. Again, I am very sorry for my insensitive comment. I am having a horrible day and I think that is why I've had an 'edge' in my posts. I hope to stick around, but if I've offended any of you irreparably, I will leave the forum.
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  #24  
November 15th, 2013, 02:24 PM
Alaska Baby14's Avatar Gonna be a family of 4!
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Location: Eagle River, Alaska
Posts: 1,390
No one needs to leave. It's hard to read a "tone" of voice in written words. Wording it the right way can be tricky as so no one reads it the wrong way. It'is an open forum and everyone is entitled to their opinions, but again, I say, wording it is tricky and yet key to not offending.
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  #25  
November 15th, 2013, 02:31 PM
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Each of you gals are great additions to this board and i appreciate all of your opinions, and shared experiences. I felt so sad reading this. Misunderstandings can easily become amplified in typed words. From an observing standpoint, i see clearly that no harm was intended. I know im not even really helping. Im just sorry you guys are all feeling bad, thats all. And it just didn't feel right reading along and then not offering some comforting words at the very least.
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  #26  
November 15th, 2013, 02:39 PM
Melissa.Anne's Avatar Veteran
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Location: Burlington, Ontario
Posts: 139
Thank you guys for understanding, I am feeling really horrible. (Pregnancy hormones just MIGHT be playing a role here-although that is just wild speculation). I truly am very sorry that I have offended, you are all wonderful people and I appreciate the support I have received here. I would like to move forward, and if I'm having an 'off' day I will be SURE to think before I type
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  #27  
November 15th, 2013, 03:20 PM
Mrs. D's Avatar Super Mommy
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Posts: 625
Hey, hey let's not get into a battle here. I think it's mostly a lack of communication anyway. I think what Melissa was saying was that she didn't know what the purpose of counting kicks was. And that she thought there was nothing much that could be done if baby started kicking less. If that were so, then in her opinion losing sleep to count kicks seems ridiculous.

If you don't think so, then go ahead and explain how you think she's mistaken. I know we're all hormonal right now, but I don't see any reason to be really offended.

As far as opinions go, it looks like the main objection is stating that something is absolutely "right" or "wrong". Our society(ies) like to act as if there are no absolute values for anything. The only absolute value is that there are no absolute values... So anytime someone says something is right or wrong (or sounds like they are) people get offended. But why can't we agree that there might be things that are really right and things that are really wrong? We'd all agree that loving our children is the right thing to do. And that beating them and not feeding them because we think they're ugly would be wrong. There are lots of things that would fall between those two extremes and we won't all agree which are right and which are wrong. But it doesn't mean that they aren't one or the other. And in disagreeing we can be open to discussion and debate and, perhaps together, come to a better understanding of the truth.

I spank my son. I'll just throw that out there. I know some people would say that's wrong and label it child abuse. I don't think so, and I have reasons I don't think so. (I never do it in anger. Never leave a mark. Only do it for blatant disobedience. There is always reconciliation immediately after) I disagree with the people who say spanking is always abuse. But that doesn't mean I should automatically get offended and that they shouldn't be allowed to think or say that something I do is really morally wrong, right? I try to understand their arguments and hope they'll listen to mine. Isn't that the best way?

Anyway. All that to say, let's have a group hug and make up.
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  #28  
November 15th, 2013, 06:46 PM
HeatherLyn429's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mrs. D View Post
Hey, hey let's not get into a battle here. I think it's mostly a lack of communication anyway. I think what Melissa was saying was that she didn't know what the purpose of counting kicks was. And that she thought there was nothing much that could be done if baby started kicking less. If that were so, then in her opinion losing sleep to count kicks seems ridiculous.

If you don't think so, then go ahead and explain how you think she's mistaken. I know we're all hormonal right now, but I don't see any reason to be really offended.

As far as opinions go, it looks like the main objection is stating that something is absolutely "right" or "wrong". Our society(ies) like to act as if there are no absolute values for anything. The only absolute value is that there are no absolute values... So anytime someone says something is right or wrong (or sounds like they are) people get offended. But why can't we agree that there might be things that are really right and things that are really wrong? We'd all agree that loving our children is the right thing to do. And that beating them and not feeding them because we think they're ugly would be wrong. There are lots of things that would fall between those two extremes and we won't all agree which are right and which are wrong. But it doesn't mean that they aren't one or the other. And in disagreeing we can be open to discussion and debate and, perhaps together, come to a better understanding of the truth.

I spank my son. I'll just throw that out there. I know some people would say that's wrong and label it child abuse. I don't think so, and I have reasons I don't think so. (I never do it in anger. Never leave a mark. Only do it for blatant disobedience. There is always reconciliation immediately after) I disagree with the people who say spanking is always abuse. But that doesn't mean I should automatically get offended and that they shouldn't be allowed to think or say that something I do is really morally wrong, right? I try to understand their arguments and hope they'll listen to mine. Isn't that the best way?

Anyway. All that to say, let's have a group hug and make up.
Lots of people said they didn't plan on doing kick counts. I didn't get offended in the least. I have ZERO objection to people stating their opinions. I got offended because of the tone of the post--saying they were ridiculous and that one would "call the doctor in a frenzy". I have pretty thick skin but reading the post in the way it was worded came off harsh and just rubbed me the wrong way. It is all in the way you word your post and state your opinion. I can GUARANTEE you if there is a thread on a topic I disagree with, like inductions, and I use words like "ridiculous" I will ruffle all kinds of feathers. I've seen it before on due date clubs. People can agree and disagree all they want but just need to be mindful of the language they use when doing so, because some people may be more sensitive than others and become offended. Anyway, its a moot point I've said how I felt, pp explained herself, no hard feelings.
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  #29  
November 16th, 2013, 11:57 AM
maybethistime's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Mar 2011
Posts: 631
I won't do kick counts until at least 36 weeks or so. My last baby failed every single time because it turns out he is just super laid back so I'm going to relax about it this time around. My OB thinks its unnecessary unless there's another factor at play.

P.S. Differences of opinions are totally okay. I don't think it's okay to call anyone out for a specific post if it does not agree with your opinion unless it is a personal attack. I come here to get information, interact with others in the same period of life as me and I would hate to see something so ridiculous intefere with this great group of women.
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  #30  
November 16th, 2013, 01:05 PM
HeatherLyn429's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Quote:
Originally Posted by maybethistime View Post
I won't do kick counts until at least 36 weeks or so. My last baby failed every single time because it turns out he is just super laid back so I'm going to relax about it this time around. My OB thinks its unnecessary unless there's another factor at play.

P.S. Differences of opinions are totally okay. I don't think it's okay to call anyone out for a specific post if it does not agree with your opinion unless it is a personal attack. I come here to get information, interact with others in the same period of life as me and I would hate to see something so ridiculous intefere with this great group of women.
I had hoped to put this to rest. I had and have every right to call someone out when I think something was said harsh or rude and I took it personally that way. I didn't call out ANYONE else who had a differing opinion. I felt the certain post was harsh at the very least and I decided to say something. I have said about 10 times in this thread it is not about differing opinions but in the way it is worded.

I am exhausted explaining myself and defending my reason for saying something. I felt like it was rude, I said something. I wouldn't have said anything otherwise, I don't care who has a different opinion it is the way it is said. I keep repeating this I don't know how clearer I need to be.



You know what I am really done explaining myself I feel like I keep needing to defend myself and explain when I had every right to say something and I did it tactfully.

Have a nice pregnancy ladies I wish you all the best. I will check in and see how you are all doing but I'm not sure I want to continue posting. We'll see. Right now I am very frustrated so I just don't know.
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Last edited by HeatherLyn429; November 16th, 2013 at 01:20 PM.
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