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  #1  
December 2nd, 2011, 07:09 AM
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DH & I have something we are both not too fond of..baby wise. I wont say just to be on the safe side and not step on anyones toes here who may like it.

Theres a few ppl who know that we dont like this...but theres lots who dont. & it kinda worries me for my shower...only bc I'll have to be "fake" or put on a front to make them think/believe that I love it....when there will be those few ppl who know I really dont....

Is it rude to somehow let other ppl know like by way of the invitation that gets sent out or a note on the registry itself? There is a place for notes to be included in the registry...

I asked someone else this question and they said it wouldnt be appropriate. But since there are so many different women with different opinions/thoughts....I'd like to know if anyone here has ever done anything like this to avoid getting an unwanted item or avoid that awkwardness where others know u really hate it but you have to act like you love it....to then only return it.
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  #2  
December 2nd, 2011, 07:16 AM
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Are you talking about some sort of gift that someone would purchase for you? If so, imo, putting it in the invitation would be inappropriate. I think word of mouth would be better. When people call to RSVP to the shower have whomever deals with the RSVP tactfully say that you would not like "xyz".
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  #3  
December 2nd, 2011, 07:24 AM
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I agree not to put it on the invitation. Better is to put on the "gift idea" list what you do want, with a lot of variations to give choices.

But I am dreadfully curious about what you don't want. I use very little baby gear, so I doubt you could offend me. My PM box is always open...

Just for fun, though, here are some things that I have had or wanted that I ended up not liking or using: wipe warmer, diaper genie (or knock off), bumbo seat, pacifiers. All were given as gifts. I was appropriately thankful, but returned them. It works out well.
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  #4  
December 2nd, 2011, 07:53 AM
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I just smile and say thanks then return it ehhh and if someone asks about ti I tell them that we got a few of the same thing.

However I am gonna beat my MIL again if she buys me a used carseat I dont mind used items just not used car seats. I keep stressing to her that I dont want a used one and give her my reason but sometimes she forgets things its not her fault she is starting to show signs of her mind fadeing so ehhh.
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  #5  
December 2nd, 2011, 08:11 AM
quietsong's Avatar Just Another Slacker Mom
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Now I'm all curious too, LOL!

I think it would be better to put out a list (paper or online like Amazon or Babies R Us style) of the kind of stuff you DO like and want...and hopefully people will stick close to it. If they don't, you should be able to return most things if you don't like them.
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  #6  
December 2nd, 2011, 08:32 AM
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I'm confused. PM me.

Are you listing the registry on your invitation? I know that won't keep people from buying whatever they want, because that's how people are.

If it's something that I know I would use, like a bottle warmer, then I'd return it. But if a particular style of clothes or whatever, I'd just keep it and say thanks.
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  #7  
December 2nd, 2011, 08:41 AM
ETanny's Avatar Mamma 2 Moo & Pops
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You have to say now... you cant do something like that

I have no idea in these situations as we dont do baby showers over here
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  #8  
December 2nd, 2011, 10:55 AM
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Im with the smile, thanks and return it.

Of course now I am dying to know too.
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  #9  
December 2nd, 2011, 10:56 AM
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LOL you all are cracking me up with the dying to know!
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  #10  
December 2nd, 2011, 11:09 AM
WhoaMomma!'s Avatar Danielle
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Here's the thing. You don't have to lie. I cloth diaper and hate onesies (just for example). People last time gave me some disposable diapers and I got some onesies. I didn't say "OMG I just love onesies! Thank you so much!" bc that would have been very disingenuous. And like you said, everyone there who knows how I feel about onesies would have known I was lying thru my teeth. I just said "omg look how tiny it is! Don't baby clothes just make you all mushy inside? Thank you so much for thinking about us." Notice I never once said I liked the gift, and I would quietly exchange it for something else later.
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  #11  
December 2nd, 2011, 12:00 PM
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Ditto Danielle...nothing wrong with just saying thank you and returning it.
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  #12  
December 2nd, 2011, 12:04 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by WhoaMomma! View Post
Here's the thing. You don't have to lie. I cloth diaper and hate onesies (just for example). People last time gave me some disposable diapers and I got some onesies. I didn't say "OMG I just love onesies! Thank you so much!" bc that would have been very disingenuous. And like you said, everyone there who knows how I feel about onesies would have known I was lying thru my teeth. I just said "omg look how tiny it is! Don't baby clothes just make you all mushy inside? Thank you so much for thinking about us." Notice I never once said I liked the gift, and I would quietly exchange it for something else later.

Yea & I think thats my biggest concern...not knowing what to say to the person who gets me something that other ppl know I dont like...
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  #13  
December 2nd, 2011, 12:04 PM
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Yep, I'm for smile say thanks..and return it. The majority of stores don't require a reciept and will issue you a store credit so you can buy what you want.

Lol, what is the mysterious unwanted item? I'm curious too!
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  #14  
December 2nd, 2011, 12:21 PM
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I've seen a note about cloth diapering on a shower invitation and didn't find it appropriate. It said something like "Mommy and Daddy are planning to use cloth diapers and have registered at bumGenius cloth diapers by Cotton Babies if anyone wishes to contribute to their diaper fund".

But if it's something else that you just don't like, it would be harder to address I would think. Is it a super common item that you are likely to get? Most people have asked me where I'm registered and/or how I'm decorating the nursery and they try to coordinate around those things.

Quote:
Originally Posted by WhoaMomma! View Post
Here's the thing. You don't have to lie. I cloth diaper and hate onesies (just for example). People last time gave me some disposable diapers and I got some onesies. I didn't say "OMG I just love onesies! Thank you so much!" bc that would have been very disingenuous. And like you said, everyone there who knows how I feel about onesies would have known I was lying thru my teeth. I just said "omg look how tiny it is! Don't baby clothes just make you all mushy inside? Thank you so much for thinking about us." Notice I never once said I liked the gift, and I would quietly exchange it for something else later.
Good advice for sure! I'd just have to control my facial expressions, LOL!

Why do you hate onesies? I've often wondered if they are a pain to try to fasten, same with those sleepers where you have to insert one leg and then the other. Do you just prefer shirts and pants type of outfits? First time mom, so I have no idea what will be easiest. One of my friends said her babies lived in those sleep gowns with the open bottoms for the first few weeks so I plan to make sure I have several of those on hand.
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  #15  
December 2nd, 2011, 12:38 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kdrew88 View Post
I've seen a note about cloth diapering on a shower invitation and didn't find it appropriate. It said something like "Mommy and Daddy are planning to use cloth diapers and have registered at bumGenius cloth diapers by Cotton Babies if anyone wishes to contribute to their diaper fund".

But if it's something else that you just don't like, it would be harder to address I would think. Is it a super common item that you are likely to get? Most people have asked me where I'm registered and/or how I'm decorating the nursery and they try to coordinate around those things.



Good advice for sure! I'd just have to control my facial expressions, LOL!

Why do you hate onesies? I've often wondered if they are a pain to try to fasten, same with those sleepers where you have to insert one leg and then the other. Do you just prefer shirts and pants type of outfits? First time mom, so I have no idea what will be easiest. One of my friends said her babies lived in those sleep gowns with the open bottoms for the first few weeks so I plan to make sure I have several of those on hand.

Facial expression! Yea thats what concerns me...if I say Thanks and my face says something else lol
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  #16  
December 2nd, 2011, 03:37 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kdrew88 View Post
I've seen a note about cloth diapering on a shower invitation and didn't find it appropriate. It said something like "Mommy and Daddy are planning to use cloth diapers and have registered at bumGenius cloth diapers by Cotton Babies if anyone wishes to contribute to their diaper fund".
While I think it's inappropriate to mention contributing to a diaper fund, it's not inappropriate to tell people on the invite that you're planning to cloth. Because of the cost of the cost of disposables, people tend to buy diapers as gifts for showers, but if you're not using disposables, it really does become a hassle to return multiple packs of diapers, you know? Someone got me an off brand of diapers for my shower and I had not idea what to do with them...like I didn't even know where to return them. People can take that $20 they were going to spend on a pack of diapers and buy something the parents will use.
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  #17  
December 2nd, 2011, 03:44 PM
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I recieved an outfit that I hated with my first but I accepted the gift politely and dressed ds in it one time for a visit with that person.
Likewise I recieved a diaper genie for a present and after saying 'thankyou for such a thoughtful gift' I returned it.

I probably would not write dislikes on the invite but why not mention it on facebook or to a really gossipy family member?
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  #18  
December 2nd, 2011, 03:47 PM
woohoo502's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I agree that it isn't wrong to mention that you are cloth diapering, because it saves people form buying something that the mom definitely won't use. I guess you could register for them too, because on Amazon, I think you can pretty much register for anything. Word of mouth would be appropriate for that as well.

I also really want to know what it is. I can't figure out what it would be for the life of me! And that makes me want to know even more!
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  #19  
December 2nd, 2011, 04:15 PM
kdrew88's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mommy2noelle View Post
While I think it's inappropriate to mention contributing to a diaper fund, it's not inappropriate to tell people on the invite that you're planning to cloth. Because of the cost of the cost of disposables, people tend to buy diapers as gifts for showers, but if you're not using disposables, it really does become a hassle to return multiple packs of diapers, you know? Someone got me an off brand of diapers for my shower and I had not idea what to do with them...like I didn't even know where to return them. People can take that $20 they were going to spend on a pack of diapers and buy something the parents will use.
Yeah, I don't really remember how it was worded. It was similar to a regular invite where a registry would be listed.

I have a friend who is having her 4th child and our friends are throwing her a small 'sprinkle' that is more of a girl's night out. In the invite it said that they have almost everything they need aside from a few larger items so they'd prefer cash or a visa gift card. I would not be that gutsy to say something like that but I guess it was just to our close group of friends.
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  #20  
December 2nd, 2011, 04:30 PM
WhoaMomma!'s Avatar Danielle
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kdrew88 View Post
Yeah, I don't really remember how it was worded. It was similar to a regular invite where a registry would be listed.

I have a friend who is having her 4th child and our friends are throwing her a small 'sprinkle' that is more of a girl's night out. In the invite it said that they have almost everything they need aside from a few larger items so they'd prefer cash or a visa gift card. I would not be that gutsy to say something like that but I guess it was just to our close group of friends.
One of my close friends sent me an invitation with something like that on it one time. She knew I'd be offended too bc she joked about it before the invite showed up. So I took a giftbag and filled it with $50 worth of loose pennies.
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