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Woe Is Me

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December 9th, 2011, 05:55 PM
Dez's Avatar
Dez Dez is offline
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Copypasta'd from my blog: DeltaEchoZulu{dot}com thought I'd share.

This is more than likely going to sound greedy or some other negative word, but Iím a little depressed that I more than likely wonít be having a baby shower for Vincent. Why? I have no offline friends.

Growing up you watch movies where the pregnant woman waddles around with her big old beach ball tummy and sits down in the middle of a room with all her friends laughing and having a good time. They play games, eat treats, and then the time comes to open the presents for the baby.

People talk about it all the time on message boards I frequent, or post pictures of their baby showers and it just leaves me a bit depressed. Not because I want presents for Vincent, but because I wonít get to have what seems to be a semi rite of passage that I wanted or what is portrayed as normal.

I didnít have a 16th birthday party (I spent the night at a friends who didnít even know it was my birthday.)

I tested out of high school early so I didnít have a graduation party.

I didnít have a bridal shower.

Now I more than likely wonít be having a baby shower either and that just bums me out . It also sort of makes me feel like a loser because I only have friends online. Then my mind turns more and starts to throw other wonderments at me like, ďWould they notice an absence from me?Ē It seems people only really notice you in passing as we all live our own lives. Some may care, though most will not.

Someone once suggested that I throw my own baby shower, but who would I invite? I could webcam it with online friends, but what would be the point? Not to mention what would we do? I canít feed them cupcakes through the video screen. Not to mention how would we all get together at the same time. Itís hard enough just trying to get one or two of them together to chat with.


I did make a registry though, which while I asked Jeremy what the point in that was, it made me feel at least a little better. A bit normal. Itís mostly full of clothes and small items that Iíd like to buy for Vincent. Things that we need to remember to get in the next few months. Iíve shared it on Facebook and was shocked that one person I hardly know asked about buying something off of it for us. I actually cried.

Iím going to go to my corner of woe now and take my pregnancy hormones with me.
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December 9th, 2011, 06:04 PM
Join Date: Jul 2011
Posts: 312
I do know partially where you are coming from. It's hard to do alot of things without friends/family around when you watch movies, sitcoms, and hear about how others had such wonderful events... when yours was miserable. The only reason I am getting a baby shower is because 2 friends from HS live nearby and have taken up the banner with my sis-law.

I never had a bridal shower either, infact I didn't have a wedding. 2 secretaries a judge and a potted plant was my wedding and our honeymoon was watching Shrek and going to Applebees for dinner.

It's one of the reasons I don't watch those marriage celebrity shows or reallity shows it makes me emotional when I'm not emotional... so I do feel where you are coming from and I know how lonely it can feel.

Just remember you won't be alone anymore once you have that pretty little boy in your arms
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December 9th, 2011, 06:51 PM
Lovemykiddos!'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I don't have any IRL friends either. My mom has been talking about throwing me a baby shower and inviting her friends......sooo basically throwing me a pity party.....which I'm lame enough to want.

So I completely understand how You feel.
Rachael wife to Shaun, mommy to Jarrett (11) Serenity (3) and Beauden (born 3/3/12) stepmom to Kamryn (9)
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December 9th, 2011, 07:10 PM
-Bailey-'s Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I understand how you feel.
Sweet 16? No one wanted to hang out with me. I threw a hissy fit with my family. I only got to see one friend for a couple hours because his brother decided he wanted to see his girlfriend...so he came over to my house til brother was ready to leave.

Graduation party? I weaseled my way into another friends party because our ceremonies were on the same day.

Bridal shower? I doubt that will happen.

Baby shower? Yeah, it's gonna be all the girl's in my mom's family plus like, 3 of my friends. Sounds good yeah? But I don't really get along with that side of the family so it'll just be really awkward, definitely not the "right of passage" it's portrayed at times. I'll spend the whole time wishing it was over I'm sure.

Sorry you feel this way cheer up though!

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December 9th, 2011, 09:33 PM
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Join Date: Mar 2008
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I am sorry. Every baby and momma deserves to be celebrated. Maybe you and dh can plan a special day for just the two of you. And we have the cyber shower to look forward to (I am assuming we are doing this)

Sorry Momma!

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December 10th, 2011, 03:13 AM
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HUGS!!!!! I'm so sorry to read this.

Coming from a big family and still living in the city I grew up in, I really can't relate, but it breaks my heart to see people who can't have that sort of normalcy.

I do hope we do the cyber shower, and if not, can you send me your shower link? I know it's not about the gifts, but I'd still like to show you and baby Vincent that people care about you all.
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December 10th, 2011, 06:00 AM
woohoo502's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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~Whitney mommy to Zoe 9/26/08 and Zachary 3/2/12~

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December 10th, 2011, 06:53 AM
mythreesons's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I am sorry that you feel this way! I like the idea that was suggested that you make a special day for you and DH to do some fun things together in honor of the baby.


Thank you Jaidynsmum for my wonderful siggy!

Me: Kristine

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December 10th, 2011, 09:25 AM
MommaTrish's Avatar bless your heart
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mom of: Zach (10), Ryan (8), Bella (5), Mason (2), and pollywog #5 due 12/04/14
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December 10th, 2011, 09:43 AM
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I didn't do alot of the normal things either. On my sweet 16 my mom was dying of cancer, and I was too shy to do a graduation party.

But, now with a five year old in kindergarten my life and circle of friends has really picked up. I make sure to speak with the other parents when I drop him off and I make him playdates (sometimes because I want the adult company). When he was born I felt alone with our small family but as he grows he is expanding my horizons in ways I never thought of. I hope it will be the same for you.
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December 10th, 2011, 06:08 PM
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Dez Dez is offline
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Thank you everyone for your kind words and understanding. Just knowing that others understand how I feel and that I'm not simply being crazy means a lot to me.

I do hope we do the cyber shower thing as well. Someone should organize it. I know that Elfster is really helpful for that sort of thing.
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December 10th, 2011, 10:12 PM
-Bailey-'s Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I agree on the cyber shower thing also. I think when we were originally talking about it we were gonna do it in January/February considering the craziness of the holidays and all the money we'll spend this time of year.

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December 10th, 2011, 10:49 PM
frgsonmysox's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I know how you feel.

I have NEVER had a birthday party in my life. Not one.

I didn't have a real wedding, just a small JOP vow exchange so I didn't get the bridal shower, bachlorette party, reception... I didn't even get a wedding cake.

I didn't have a Graduation Party either. In fact, by the time graduation rolled around I was practically living with a friend because my parents had made it clear I wasn't welcome at home.

I don't have any family nearby me, so I miss out on a lot of family type activities as well.

Its tough, but I feel like the only thing we can do is to ensure our children have a life that was different to our own.
~Beth~ Wife to my Airman Chris, and mommy to: Anthony Nathaniel (8/31/04), Anastasia Fae (8/01/06), Baby C (lost on 10/12/07), David Cillian (7/31/08), Charles George (4/29/10), and Alan Christopher (2/22/12)

My BLOG - A Day In The Life of a Freg (it's a little bit of everything!)
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