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OT: What happened in the past...


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  #1  
December 13th, 2011, 04:51 PM
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Ok, I'm going to take a gamble and post this here, because I found the thought/notion interesting.

One of my FB friends just posted a topic based on something she saw on tv, so here's what she wrote:

"how many sex partners is too many for you to be in a relationship with someone? This dude on the show was sleeping with seven different women a week....how many is too many for u to deal with?? Somebody can b nice and sweet all day long but come on now there is a line!"

Basically, she was asking, can a person have had so many sexual partners in the past that they should not be in a relationship?

I say it doesn't. I have a past and so does D...but what does that have to do with our relationship with each other? I think it would be really unfair to said person, for him to be deemed unworthy of a relationship because he had a past...but that's my opinion...and perhaps because of my own real life...but I was just wondering...
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  #2  
December 13th, 2011, 04:58 PM
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Im the jealous type so I try not to ask how many Dh has been with...but we did talk about this a few yrs ago. & Like you said we all have a past. So I cant say it bugs me really....although my number is less than his LOL
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  #3  
December 13th, 2011, 05:01 PM
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LOL Mandy!!!!! I'm a bit jealous too...so while I know, I try to forget, and remind myself that he's with me now.
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  #4  
December 13th, 2011, 05:02 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mommy2noelle View Post
LOL Mandy!!!!! I'm a bit jealous too...so while I know, I try to forget, and remind myself that he's with me now.

Yea I do that same thing.
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  #5  
December 13th, 2011, 05:04 PM
luvmykids623's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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It is a really interesting thought! I am highly unqualified to answer the question, because DH and I have been together since I was 16 and he was 17. I was his first and he was mine. However, I think that if two people are willing to look passed each others pasts and stay together, then I don't think they should be deemed unworthy to be in a relationship.
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  #6  
December 13th, 2011, 05:09 PM
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WOW Lori!!!! I've known D since high school....but yeah...it took me a year to even give him my number...and he was very persistent.LOL!
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  #7  
December 13th, 2011, 05:18 PM
luvmykids623's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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We've known each other since he was 13 and I was 12. We hated each other at first. We started dating at 16 and 17, but we didn't have sex for the first time until I was 2 months shy of 18 and he was a few months shy of 19.
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  #8  
December 13th, 2011, 05:39 PM
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WOW!!!! Talk about a courtship!
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  #9  
December 13th, 2011, 05:40 PM
Lovemykiddos!'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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My DH has had more than 10x the amount of partners I have had, and I don't care. They were all before me and that is all that matters. As long as I'm the last I don't see a reason for it to ever matter
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  #10  
December 13th, 2011, 05:57 PM
pixiedust012404's Avatar Lovin my baby girl
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Like Lori, as far as sexual partners, DH & I are our only. We've known each other since I was 12 & he was 14 & been together since I was 17 & he was 19. I was 18 & he was 20 when we had sex for the first time. But, both of us have done "other things" per-say with other people, and it does bother me to think about & I know it bothers him to think about me with others, however we know the past is the past and we love each other and only each other now so we don't let it get in the way of our relationships.
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  #11  
December 13th, 2011, 05:59 PM
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I was DHs first and he was my 8th. It is not an issue for us.

As for what your friend said, I do not agree with her.
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  #12  
December 13th, 2011, 06:08 PM
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It depends on what was going on at that point in their life. DH and I have known each other since we were 8. We dated very briefly when we were in high school and then went off to college. We had no contact with one another in college. In college, DH was a bit of a "****". We bumped into each other again after college was over and he had mellowed out a lot. I never thought anything about the number of people he slept with. It never bothered me. That was a different time in his life and now we are a commited couple. We have been together for 14 years and I have never questioned anything about his past.
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  #13  
December 13th, 2011, 06:34 PM
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To me, as long ad each one is fine with it, and not in a relationship with a 3rd or 4th, etc party at the same time, who cares? DH is 11 1/2 years older than I am, so evidentally has had more relationships than I have, but honestly I don't care, we are true to each other, here and now, and that is all that matters to me. I wouldn't do it, if a partner had others at the time I was with him though. But everyone has a past.
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  #14  
December 13th, 2011, 06:41 PM
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I think there would be a limit that I would be comfortable with honestly.
But that's just me, and it'd have to be a LOT of other partners for it to be something I just couldn't get over. Well out of the normal range I'd say.

I've been with more people that DF and it kinda makes me feel like a **** haha
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  #15  
December 13th, 2011, 07:15 PM
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I think as long as you are the only one he is with now then its not a problem. ehhh

I have have been with more than Dh and he is fine with it and I am fine with who he was with before me.


Past is past and you cant hold someones past against them really.
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  #16  
December 13th, 2011, 07:44 PM
UrbanMomma's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I have a past, and children from previous relationships, as does dh. I dont really care to know about each and ever relationship he has had.

I do agree with Bailey, I think there would be a limit that I just wouldn't feel comfortable with him being past. I personally don't want an ex porn star or anything like that. LOL
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  #17  
December 13th, 2011, 07:52 PM
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In my relationship, I am the one with the 'colorful' past. I am only the 2nd girl DH was every with. I know it bothers him to know about details of my past. I have never given a specific number, nor will I. It just doesn't matter. He was my last 'first kiss' and that's all that matters to us both.
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  #18  
December 13th, 2011, 07:58 PM
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Dh and I are very open about this because I have known him since I was 13, he was 15. But we didn't start dating until I was 23. He is my best friends brother and we have both watched each others history unfold. I was in the military and alot more wild than him (not that I have a huge number).
I think the difference between sex and a true relationship would help me get past a higher number. I don't like the thought of him being commited to another woman.
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  #19  
December 13th, 2011, 09:33 PM
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I have known my DH for 20 years (which sucks because I KNOW some of his exes, ew) but anyway, I have no idea how many people he has been with. I am SO ok with that. I did date a guy that had been with a lot of people and that was creepy. ( and by alot I mean triple digits)
I guess I really don't care so much, I would rather not know.
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Last edited by Beeker; December 14th, 2011 at 08:07 PM.
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  #20  
December 14th, 2011, 03:38 AM
ETanny's Avatar Mamma 2 Moo & Pops
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Personally... everyone is entitled to a past and IMO as long as they are faithful during the relationship thats all that matters.
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