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  #1  
January 5th, 2012, 05:28 AM
quietsong's Avatar Just Another Slacker Mom
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How involved are your baby's grandparents so far?
Is this their first grandchild - or how many others do they have?
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  #2  
January 5th, 2012, 06:48 AM
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Well .. We kind of shoved grandparenthood in their faces. When Joe and I met I already had Mehkaelie. She was less than a year old at the time but they did not approve. It took them quite a while to warm up to her and I.

When we got pregnant with Cole, they finally started making some effort to get involved but they still weren't thrilled by anything to do with us. Once Cole was born everything changed and they got a lot more involved trying to visit with me and the kids more and we started doing family dinners and stuff.

This time around it's a whole new tune all together. They love both Mehkaelie and Cole so so much and cannot wait for Haevyn just like us. It took a while, but I'm glad we are where we are with them

ETA: Our kids are the only grandchildren they have and probably will ever have as SIL is adamant about not ever wanting children of her own.
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  #3  
January 5th, 2012, 07:10 AM
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last try then im giving up!!

My mom is super involved she comes to every DR's appointment
My dad is busy with his gold digger. He just paid $10,000 to get her tubal reversed, so they are trying to get her pregnant. (my grandma is totally freaking out lol she hates this woman!!)

DH's mom and stepdad, they don't exactly care. they see us, but don't really ask anything about the baby or the pregnancy. They don't think that the baby is DH's. We were separated for about 7 months and got back together in May when we decided to TTC. so we were only back together for 2.5 months when we found out we were pregnant. For us the separation saved our marriage. For them, they think that I'm trying to pin a pregnancy on DH. apparently they cant add and think that pregnancy lasts 11 months haha but whatever. DH's younger brother and his wife just had a baby, and their mom is always watching the baby. so i think she might also be too busy with that baby to care about another.
DH's dad and stepmom, his DAD is super excited. None of Dh's siblings have managed to have a boy. So this is the first boy of this generation (not counting step kids and step grandkids they don't carry on the name which is apparently important lol) so he asks to see pics and asks how the pregnancy is going. and tells me to get his grandson out quick so they can watch football together. His step-mom doesnt give to craps either way haha. her youngest gets someone pregnant almost yearly, and his most recent accomplishment was just born on the 30th. so she is busy dealing with practically raising his 2 now his 3 kids when he has them for his parental time.
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  #4  
January 5th, 2012, 07:14 AM
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Let's see...with my mom, Noelle is her only grandchild and she's pretty rotten. LOL! My mom doesn't do the material stuff a lot, but she babies Noelle a bit. My mom thinks they have a special bond because they have the same birthday. I'm curious to see how she'll be with Donovan. My kids are her only grandkids so far. My mom had me fairly young...or maybe young by some standards. She'll be 51 this year.

My dad "tries" but he lives in another state...it's just hard for him to be involved. Him and his wife have yet to buy a birthday or Christmas gift for Noelle, which I DO take offense to. No, life is not about things, but yeah...just doesn't seem right to me.

D's mom is very involved as a grandma. In fact, for the first 2.5 years of her life, I think his family single handedly clothed Noelle. Noelle is D's second child and Donovan will be the third, but first boy. I'm curious to see how she'll be with a little boy, considering the bang up job she did with D...ok that's not so nice. She just has to adjust to buying for boys.
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  #5  
January 5th, 2012, 09:08 AM
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In laws aren't involved at all. My parents are here all the time. My mom lives with us right now (bedrest lol) and my dad visits every 2-3 weeks (he'd be here more but I have a younger sibling in highschool still six hours away). When DH was gone for a year (military) I lived with my parents and had my third child there. So basically they are their second set of parents. My kids are their only grandkids and this is #4. I'm SO SO SO lucky to have them.
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  #6  
January 5th, 2012, 09:20 AM
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My inlaws live far away Delaware. This doesn't stop my father inlaw, he does 3 times a year a month at a time. Father inlaw is very involved. Mother inlaw was a school teacher for 47 years so she's not as hands on, but still a big help. I do notice that out of site out of mind. X mas they didnt send anything, but dh sis kids that are there got gifts. I think they'll bring something when they come for the baby's birth.
My mom & step dad babysit my toddler, but are getting to old. Just yesterday they watch lil Lee and I found her asleep not watching him. My dad and dog...I mean step mom hardly visit. I'm very close with my dad, but I hate my step mother. She is the devil!!
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  #7  
January 5th, 2012, 10:12 AM
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My parents are very involved...always have been with my kids (even though we've never lived in the same state)....my mom will be here for 8 weeks after Liam is born.

DH's parents......not involved at all. They've seen the older kids three times and Ethan twice.....the twice is because they came to visit DH and by default....Ethan was here....lol.

This baby will be grandchild #7 for my parents (Lilly is 9, William 8, Ava 4, Ethan 3, Alex 2, Carter 1...and then Liam)

For DH's parents....this is probably.....# 20 for them.....just *another* grandchild to them.....
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  #8  
January 5th, 2012, 10:23 AM
MissLoki's Avatar Super Mommy
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It's the first baby on my side and on SO's side so all the grandparents are pretty excited.

I know they'll be involved but we're trying to make sure they understand that they need to work with us on how much involved they can be. My mom tends to listen to what I say and then go out of her way to do the opposite because she feels it's best for me (it usually isn't). My MIL is a former nurse who mistakes the information she was giving out 30 years ago for accurate and up to do info (it usually isn't either). So we're working hard on getting them to trust us and our gut instincts all the while reassuring them that we'll be happy to ask for help when we need it.

TL;DR, working on boundary issues with grandparents but they'll be great
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  #9  
January 5th, 2012, 10:30 AM
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My parents are SUPER involved and are around my kids MANY times each week. My whole family is extremely close and we spend tons of time together.

We started having issues with hubby's family(WAY long story) when we got married and they never even met Evan until he was a year old and that was only because hubby's brother got into a REALLY bad accident and we took Evan to the hospital with us as soon as they called because we didn't know if his brother was going to make it. They've seen Isabella maybe 7-10 times in her whole life(shes almost 2 1/2).

My kids are the first and only grandkids on both sides.
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  #10  
January 5th, 2012, 11:10 AM
kdrew88's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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My parents have already passed away so baby will only have one set of grandparents (DH's parents). This is their first granchild and they are THRILLED! They've helped us out so much already with buying stuff, chipping in for half of the furniture, helping get our house organized, etc. They live about 10 hrs away but they come down pretty often. His dad will likely retire in the next year or two and I bet they'll move closer to us. MIL is going to stay for a couple of weeks after the baby is born to help out as well.
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  #11  
January 5th, 2012, 12:33 PM
Dee136's Avatar Super Mommy
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kdrew88 View Post
My parents have already passed away so baby will only have one set of grandparents (DH's parents). This is their first granchild and they are THRILLED! They've helped us out so much already with buying stuff, chipping in for half of the furniture, helping get our house organized, etc. They live about 10 hrs away but they come down pretty often. His dad will likely retire in the next year or two and I bet they'll move closer to us. MIL is going to stay for a couple of weeks after the baby is born to help out as well.
I'm really sorry to hear about your parents Kelly but am glad you have such awesome Inlaws who are so excited!!
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  #12  
January 5th, 2012, 01:00 PM
JesSsica's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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My parents are very involved and they only live 5 minutes away. This will be their 7th grandchild. The ages are 22, 14, 12, 11, 9, 18 months, and then this baby. After my son who is 9 they thought they weren't having more grandkids and were pretty bummed about it. Then along came my nephew and now this one so they're over the moon excited because they're huge baby people.

My IL's are older. They are 76 and almost 70. This will be their 7th grandchild too. My dh's brother takes advantage of them and they are practically raising two of the kids. We don't see them often despite them living 10 minutes away because his family doesn't do a ton together but we see them often enough. They're excited about the baby but I don't see us seeing them a whole lot more than we already do and I'm ok with that. Hehe
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  #13  
January 5th, 2012, 01:14 PM
kdrew88's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dee136 View Post
I'm really sorry to hear about your parents Kelly but am glad you have such awesome Inlaws who are so excited!!
Thanks, you are sweet.
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  #14  
January 5th, 2012, 02:59 PM
pixiedust012404's Avatar Lovin my baby girl
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All the grandparents are involved and thrilled! My mom has 4 step-grandchildren through my older sisters (my dad is passed away) but we've never been super close to them. This will be her first bio grandchild so shes going crazy lol.

DH's dad has 5 grandchild, plus this one & my SIL is pregnant too, DH's mom is the same except one of FIL's grandchildren is from his daughter from first marriage. They love their grandchildren and have at least 1 of them once a week.

I'm worried about how mine & MIL's relationship will be for a while after the baby's born. We are in a great place right now, but have had our issues in the past. When SIL got pregnant with my nephew, she had 2 daughters from a previous relationship and her & MIL had lots of issues because MIL has strong opinions on how she thinks children should be raised and SIL wasn't having any of it, and it'll likely be the same with me & MIL once baby is here.
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  #15  
January 5th, 2012, 05:45 PM
-Bailey-'s Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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My parents:
Technically this is their first grandchild [my sister married a man with 2 little boys] and the second will arrive just 3 short months after
They are SO excited, and SO involved already. They're helping with our medical bills [as much as I try to say they don't have to], buying stuff for their house, stuff for us...as well as being involved however else they can.
They only live an hour away, and we might even be moving closer to them anyways, so we'll have any help we need after baby is here too. BUT they know me and how I like to do things, so they won't be pushy or overbearing

DFs dad and stepmom:
This is also their first grandchild, so I'm guessing they are pretty excited. I'm really iffy on them though. They are pretty religious, and I am very NOT religious...One of the first things they said after DF told them is "You're gonna raise this kid right, right?" [meaning, go to church...be baptized]
When they came to visit I went shopping with my sister while DF went out and did stuff with them. He called asking me what size our crib was, cause they were gonna buy us a mattress. Well when he got back, sans mattress, he told me "They didn't want to drive 'all the way' to [where the store is]"...umm it was 15 minutes away from where they were at? So they wrote us a check...
And a LOT of little things like that really make me glad they live all the way across the country...and really make me hope we move to a different state than they are in when we move down south.

DFs mom:
My niece was born on March 1st last year, so this will be her second grandchild. She is really excited though She also lives all the way across the country. But I like her a lot more, she seems more like me! She's visiting around my due date so I can't say much on her until I meet her.
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  #16  
January 5th, 2012, 07:25 PM
Beeker's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Our parents all live far away but everyone is coming to visit at some point.
My mom and stepdad are super thrilled and will be here for 3 weeks when the baby is born. This is the 1st grandchild for my parents.
My dad and stepmom are excited too and are coming after my idiot MIL leaves.

My FIL and his wife are coming in the summer. This is their 3rd grandkid and they are crazy involved with my nieces. They carpool to school with them! I have a BIL that is 6 and my nieces are 4 and 2.

My MIL is a jerk. She has bought all of our nursery furniture and stroller and stuff like that. She is the person who will buy stuff and throw it in your face and brag to everyone how much she did for us. Whatever. She got an inheritance when her parents died so she has lots of money to spend. Her brother told us to take whatever she offers. I am not a huge fan of that b/c I feel like its using her to a point. She is so evil though, I really don't care. This will be the first grandchild she will be allowed to see. My BIL and SIL do not allow her to see their kids. SO the pressure is all on us. It sucks.

It is very overwhelming. Example: She told me I will kill my child b/c I will put him to bed on his back. She also told me when I was getting genetic testing that if I had a "retarded" child that I better abort b/c my DH would never love a child like that. Uh, yeah. She is a real winner. So now we have knock down drag out fights about her even coming to stay with us. I think I will be hiding when she comes...
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  #17  
January 5th, 2012, 09:03 PM
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We have one good parent on each side.

DH's Mom is AMAZING. She even assumed James as her grandson before DH and I were married. She told DH when we were dating, "You better not mess this up, because I am keeping Kathryn and James whether you guys are together forever or not. If you don't marry this one, you're crazy." She's so thoughtful and reliable that it kinda makes up for my mom who is too tired from trying to be a mom when we were kids to care about us or our kids now that we are grown. Even remembering to call on birthdays is hard for her. (She's an alcoholic.)

DH's dad was a POS when he was a kid and nothing's changed. If there is a quality about a person that is negative, he's got it on his resume. I'll spare you, but to give you an idea, we've been together 3 1/2 years, even married for one and I've still never met the man. Everyone tells me that's lucky b/c he'd just make me uncomfortable with his old-man sexual advances. ICK! My Dad, however, is great. He tries too hard sometimes, wanting to make up for the shortcomings of my mom, mostly. (They're divorced.) And he's not great with kids, really. But he is indefatigable in his efforts and would literally drop everything and race to me if I called--day or night. What he lacks in skill, he makes up for in love. He wouldn't have a clue how to do diaper or bathe or make formula, but he would try his heart out to figure it out.

What a great question! It's so interesting to see what kind of infrastructure everyone is working with.

Kelly, I'm so sorry that your parents are passed. You're so young; that had to be hard. I'm glad you have great inlaws, though. My MIL being awesome has been such therapy for me in coping with my mother's shortcomings. Good in-laws are such a Godsend.
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  #18  
January 5th, 2012, 10:41 PM
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It is a joke as to who is more excited. Me or Mom

Now that I can get excited that is up for debate!

DH's father has like 9 other grandbabies on that side, but there is a tradition of him always buying the first "go home" outfit for the baby, so I'm making sure everybody buying stuff knows that. This is the first grandbaby since DH's Mother passed away, which is why we are considering using her name as a middle name.

My dad?? I have no idea. It's the first grandbaby on my side, except for my step-sis' 3 boys. He did a full flip out when we told him, but he calmed afterwards. Seems his health issues have been kept from me lately cause of all the stress I'm under so next week I'll have a good talk with him while I'm in town.

Then there's mom she is squeeling more than I am!
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  #19  
January 6th, 2012, 03:46 AM
Taz38's Avatar Proud Mommy
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My parents are over the moon - everytime they go to the store they pick up something for the baby. This will be their 3rd granddaughter, but the 1st that they're truly around. My brother adopted his wife's daughter who is now 16 and they have a little girl who will be 3 in April. My folks and my SIL are always at odds and it's not the best relationship, plus they live 4 hours from my parents. They rarely see the little grandbaby when they do she doesn't want anything to do with them. SOOOOO they are excited because we have a great relationship and I only live 30 mins away.

My hubby's mom and ex-hubby/current boyfriend (long story--same man) are happy. They live right up the road, but we hardly ever talk to them much less see them. MIL is "supposed" to be keeping Princess at our house when I go back to work, so I'm hoping she is serious and will be an active part in her life - this is her first grandchild.

My hubby's stepdad/DAD is thrilled. His oldest son gave up custody of his 2 kids a long time ago before he got his life squared away so he didn't get to be the grandpa. He raised my hubby and continued to do so even after him and the mother got divorced 20 years ago. He's really excited, but in somewhat poor health so we're hoping being around her will perk him up a little bit.

M hubby's spermdonor/father & stepmother weren't really involved with my hubby as he was growing up. They live in WI and hubby lived here in SC. As he grew up he became resentful of his father so they don't speak. I've tried to at least keep him in the loop on the progression of Princess. He seems to be excited and I have a feeling he'll come here for her birth. This will be their 2nd granddaughter - number 1 was born in July.

sorry for the book--it gets complicated around here......lol
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