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The In-laws


Forum: April 2014 Playroom

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  #1  
October 11th, 2013, 03:00 PM
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How well do you get along with yours?
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  #2  
October 11th, 2013, 03:05 PM
mommy2b43's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Not at all. We haven't seen mine in over a year. My husband and I had some issues and a lot of them stem back from his mother and I'm pretty angry at her. I'm not sucking it up and dealing with her back handed, passive aggressive nastiness. She was obsessed with my first pregnancy but then didn't even want to hold our second baby. She's constantly comparing my second to dh's niece who was born at the same time. Not surprising since she does that about everything but it doesn't help the relationship we have with his brother either...

Oh and we just finally told them we were pregnant- and his mother couldn't care less. I'm sure a lot of that has to do with us not seeing them but I told eh what needs to happen first and he refuses to do it so...oh well?
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  #3  
October 11th, 2013, 03:16 PM
mzshell13's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: May 2009
Location: DC Suburbs
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We have an OK relationship. I can only take them in small doses because they're loud and opinionated. My MIL is a stuck up snob and is always concerned about appearances. And she and my aunt in law are super competitive and she always tries to get my kids to "show off" in front of her. Luckily for me, my kids have strong personalities so they won't do it, but it drives me crazy. They love their grandkids and help out when I ask so I can't complain too much.
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  #4  
October 11th, 2013, 03:29 PM
Boos Moo's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Well both of my parents are passed on, so DH doesn't have in laws. He hasn't talked to his mom in I think a year now. It's between them, but I wasn't to fond of her anyway so I just let it be. DH's dad and mom got divorced when he was 2 so he doesn't have a close relationship with him. We see him maybe once a year (they live a few states away). The visits are always ok though, just not very often.
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  #5  
October 11th, 2013, 03:53 PM
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I liked and got along with mine until DD (our first) was born. Then they slowly started getting more and more annoying to where I can barely stand them now! My brother-in-law, I can't stand at all. He is such an idiot, ha ha. DH's dad talks like a friggin toddler, even to my dogs. He does it so much that when transitions to talking to an adult he still does it for the first part of the conversation . My MIL is very condescending. She also HATES the fact that I won't allow her to turn DD into an ubber-girly girly-girl. She only had boys and I guess she pictured princess pink tea parties in froofy dresses everyday when we had a girl, but I don't let DD into that world and MIL hates it. I also parent the complete opposite of how she did and she just does not get it or care to try and get it.

They haven't been to our house since DS was born (they live 1000 miles away), Jan 2012, and that was a rough visit! IDK when they'll be back, probably after baby is born, but I'm not letting them come until baby is at least a month old, which I'm sure will go over well .
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  #6  
October 11th, 2013, 04:31 PM
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Mine are toxic and insane. I avoid them at all costs.
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  #7  
October 11th, 2013, 05:19 PM
Luvgreen19's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Chicago Suburbs
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mine are fine. They are divorced but still good friends so we do all the Holidays together which eliminates all the scheduling conflicts. It's nice. My MIL is a total tomboy so she gets along great with my 3 year old DS, but I'd love to have someone to go shopping with or something sometimes. (My mom passed away in college).
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  #8  
October 11th, 2013, 05:22 PM
kemper2.0's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I get along with mine splendidly. I love them just as much as my parents! They are truly wonderful people and fantastic grandparents. I truly feel like I've hit the jackpot- which isn't to say we haven't butted heads in the past 7 years, but we always quickly resolve our differences!
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  #9  
October 11th, 2013, 06:35 PM
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I could not ask for better in laws. I met DH when we were in college together in Maryland. I was from California, he was from Baltimore, so his family quickly became my "east coast family". They moved to Ohio last year, so it's rare that we see them now, and I miss having them close by (they used to only be about 2 hours away).

I have a feeling this baby could make things difficult though. MIL is SO EXCITED that she's kind of forgot I'm anything more than a baby maker lately. I'm going to have to have an awkward conversation with her asking her to tone down baby talk and remember that I have a life/interests/career/feelings outside of this pregnancy, and maybe we could talk about those once in a while?
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  #10  
October 11th, 2013, 07:11 PM
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Location: British Columbia, Canada
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I love mine! They're awesome, SO blessed and thankful to have great inlaws. Some people who know them are surprised when I tell them how well we get along, since MIL can be quite outspoken in certain circumstances, and people sometimes get offended by her but she is SO careful with her daughters in law, because there are lots of family issues in her own family, and we don't see any of DH's uncles at all because of their wives. (her SIL's) She does everything she can to keep healthy relationships with all of us and avoid having that happen in our family. Of course, none of us are particularly crazy and we try too

We spend a lot more time with DH's family than my own, just because we are part of the same community and live closer. Of course I love my parents, but I find I get along better with my MIL, maybe I wouldn't if I'd grown up with her, but I didn't and I find her opinions and wisdom refreshing. Our family choices in parenting and values etc. are much closer to the in laws, my mom and I are SO different in some ways. Also, I just love all 5 of my SIL's we get along super great, see each other multiple times a week, they are probably my best friends, and a couple were even before DH and I dated, so I love that they are in my life permanently now
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  #11  
October 11th, 2013, 07:59 PM
LuvsGavinNJamie's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Location: Illinois, USA
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I heard a lot of my thoughts on my in-laws expressed by others who said they got along with theirs. In recent years I get along better with my MIL than I do with my mom because she is not so nosey and doesn't come to my house with the attitude that nothing I do (housework) is good enough. My father in law is nonconfrontational. He really just goes on with his life but he will give attention to his grandkids when we're visiting. I could think of worse.

My mom, as I said, comes to my house with that attitude that my housework isn't good enough. Last time she was here I had kept my house really clean (for me) for 3 weeks in a row. I kicked my own butt with constantly picking up messes and toys and vacuuming and folding every basket of laundry as soon as I brought it up from the basement and keeping laundry going. Not just clean because she was coming. What does she say? "You know what you could try? Try focusing on just one room and keeping it clean and then add more as you go." And she and my sister makes comments that she is afraid someone will report my house to the health department. Ok, thanks mom. So, the major part of this story is that I'm bipolar and usually on the side of depression. and DH doesn't stand up for me or recognize they are off base. What do you think happened then? That's right, I didn't feel like doing anything because it felt like nothing would be good enough for anyone else, so why bother? Gets me steamed just thinking about it now! Anyway, DH doesn't like going to visit my family much but it's also because they are all several hours away and he is tired from work. We do get along when we go but we're always so relieved to come back HOME.
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  #12  
October 11th, 2013, 08:12 PM
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We're very fortunate. I like his parents and he likes mine. We all get along well. Baby isn't here yet though, but I forsee if anything, his mom being over helpful and caring. It could definitely be worse!
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  #13  
October 12th, 2013, 02:28 AM
MaggieLizer's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Location: Loo-uh-vull, KY
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I love FH's family and they love me and are very supportive of us even though I haven't been around too long yet. I haven't met his mother and two of his sisters who live in TX though.
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  #14  
October 12th, 2013, 05:17 AM
ChiChica's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Chicago
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My mother-in-law is great. She reminds me a lot of my mom, in that neither of them is nosy or pushy. We get along great. DH has 5 siblings. We all generally get along well and we hang out socially.

One of his sisters, however, has caused some problems. She became OBSESSED with us having a baby. I have no idea why, since DH is the youngest and we've only been married a little over 2 years at this point. But for about a year she badgered me about getting pregnant every time I saw her. By the time we started fertility treatment, it had become pretty intolerable. It all came to a head at another sister's baby shower. I had just finished another unsuccessful treatment round and I was heartbroken. Pushy sister announced to the whole shower that I was depriving her of another niece or nephew because I'd decided that I didn't want to have kids yet (which I'd of course never said). As if I'd already have a baby if I just wanted it badly enough. She then cornered me and demanded to know when I would have a baby. I deflected the question. DH was out of town, and I literally cried all night long (and I'm not a crier). He came home and found raw, puffy me surrounded by used kleenex and immediately called her to tell her that the topic is completely off limits. She respected that, but seeing her with her other nieces and nephews makes me expect that we will have major boundary problems with her once the baby arrives. We'll see . . .
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  #15  
October 12th, 2013, 06:57 AM
Blue Eyes 409's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Location: Nashville TN
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When mine is single or before her husband died we got along great. Now my mother in law calls my husband .....out of town to ask if she can have Paige for the night because she tells him I ALWAYS say no. Well I have to admit when you call last minute and ask and I already have plans yes I say no! Why can't she ask me when would be good for me so maybe sine I am with kids 24/7 that I might be able to go out with a friend and have some adult time but I forgot its all about her.

When she is not dating this loser she is with now we get along great but she is too busy spending all her money on him to make him happy so he won't leave her again. I hope he enjoys the houseboat and camper she bought just for him.
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  #16  
October 12th, 2013, 12:11 PM
SarahSmile's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Location: Ohio
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Mine live in another country..and dont speak English. So, we get along fabulously!! hahaha
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  #17  
October 15th, 2013, 09:38 AM
Gray_baby's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Lindsay - your SIL sounds awful! I'm sorry you had to deal with that. I hope your DH can lay down boundaries with her that will keep you sane.

My MIL is ok but she makes me kind of crazy. She is one of those people who acts like she's so busy and important (even though we know she's not) and doesn't have time for her family. Yet, she lays guilt trips on my DH if he doesn't call her often enough (since he's in the Army we always live several states away). She was super excited when I got pregnant the first time (and she favors my DD1 to this day) but I'm pretty sure she was disappointed that DD2 was a girl and lost interest in my second pregnancy after that announcement. So far this time she's "positive" we're having a boy and it makes me crazy. She rarely visits and when she does it's always short trips, yet she gets upset when the girls don't know who she is . . . umm, you're a stranger to them!
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  #18  
October 15th, 2013, 09:45 AM
Tamara22's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Sacramento, California
Posts: 7,032
Both of DH's parents are raging alcoholics. We've been raising DH's 16 year old sister since we've gotten married, since his mother is not capable. I could rant about MIL for days, but I'll simply state that I have a strong dislike towards her and her childish, selish actions. FIL is more tolerable than MIL, but not by much. Love my grandmother in law (on FIL's side) though <3

Editied to add, we are also currently supporting my BIL, his girlfriend and their 3 year old son. Hoping that changes soon though. We took them in, originally giving them 2 months to find a job and get on their feet. It's been probably about 6 months at this point, and we'll have to be giving them an eviction notice soon since we just got guardianship back of SIL and they are taking up our spare room.
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Last edited by Tamara22; October 15th, 2013 at 09:51 AM.
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  #19  
October 15th, 2013, 10:08 AM
katiep726's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Location: Louisville, KY
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I have a pretty good relationship with mine. We get along well even though they get on my last nerves, she means well for the most part. We do have some issues because she obviously and strongly favors my SILs two kids more than ours and her other two grandkids. That sil had a baby at 18 and just doesn't have her life together and so mil babies her and it drives dh crazy. Bothers me too because when we ask for her help with carter it's almost a bother but yet she watches her other grandkids on a regular basis. Even when she does bother to ask to see carter she'll have one of the other kids with her. It wasn't always like that tho because she offered to watch him 2-3 days a week when I first went back to work so he wouldn't have to go to daycare so young.

Also she likes to tell us, especially me, what to do when it comes to having kids and bein pregnant. Like what I should and shouldn't eat. Sometimes I ask for her advice but otherwise I'm good. This really bothers me but dh is good about telling her to chill.
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  #20  
October 15th, 2013, 10:58 AM
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Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: Saskatoon, SK CANADA
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I have fantastic in-laws! They are the most loving and amazing people I have ever met. And they met my parents earlier in the year and it was like they had all been friends forever. I'm truly blessed to have amazing parents and in-laws.... life is going to be grand once this little one arrives!
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