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vent...I am getting super crazy frustrated with DH right now. I know that his parents would for sure set up a time and duration if he would just freaking ask them to nail it down. I already feel like I am a crap daughter in law because it is very important for me that I CAN NOT have more than 1 set of visitors at a time and MIL was planning on being here a week after Dorian is born. NO. My parents are here first. It takes crazy bureaucracy for my mom to get time off. She has gotten her company to guarantee her a week off with 12 hours notice for her to take it off. I go into the hospital, she puts her notice in and leaves 12 hours or less later depending on when I go in. My MIL can pretty much take off time at a whim and they are fine with that since they know it is for a pregnant child. We also have 1 other set of grandparents that want to come and visit that are active in our church so I want them and my parents there at the same time to do an ordinance that his parents can't do. So we have 6 people 1 ordinance and me not wanting all 6 people here at the same time because I would go bat crap crazy with the hormone drop off, breast feeding start up, and lack of sleep that comes with a newborn.
The in laws don't speak English and I don't speak their language. If we didn't have that barrier, I would totally do the asking! I do with the host-inlaws (DH was an exchange student they were the host family that pretty much adopted him) and they are connected to me through marriage. The worst thing is every one lives around 12 hours drive away from us so this visit is very important to all of them. It is VERY important for me as well! I want all of them in my kids lives. They are all good people. I just can't have them all here together. I think that with DH's Sunday conversation this week it will be resolved, but today is just super frustrating.
Oh boy do I sympathize. It's a pain in the butt coordinating our moms with each of our kids births. With the first we scheduled my MIL for two weeks after my EDD and my mom for the week after that. I wanted my mom first but she was still working at the time and she couldn't get that week off.
This time around I'd like my mom here first but she's playing stupid about being able to drive herself so she says her husband will just have to drive her. I DO NOT want him here when I'm newly postpartum. I like him ok but it's an awkward, emotional time for me especially with breastfeeding! She said he could just turn around and drive home, but I'd feel awful with that plan - even though it's only a 6 hour drive back to their house.
No matter what I definitely DO NOT want both of our moms here at the same time. NO WAY. Set a date for your in-laws and tell your DH to handle it. Don't give him the option if he's not going to be more proactive. Sometimes we have to be pushy, if only for our own sanity. Hugs!
I feel your pain. As you know we are moving to Las Vegas basically 6 wks before I am due and my mom and either Grandma or sister will be there when ds is born BUT my mil and sil and her husband and kids want to be there. I am very private when it comes to something's and this is one of them. I just don't see why they can't wait 2-4 wks depending on when he comes for us to come home for Easter to meet him
I'm sorry. That has to be so frustrating. We have a similar situation as Alyson is due when it is my brother and sisters spring break. They all want to come to florida but I just can't have that many people.
I'm lucky that all my family lives 30 min or less away. I do hope some people wait to visit until we get home this time though, I'd like a little more time to relax in the hospital this time around. We had all of our siblings, parents, grandparents, and some friends come last time. I really appreciate it, it can just be a bit overwhelming and exhausting. This is our second so hopefully people will be more willing to wait. I wouldn't tell anyone not to come, and expect our parents to, but hopefully not too many and especially all at once.
Thank you Vicki... For the adorable siggy!
Totally get where you're coming from. I panicked when it was my mom, dad and one of my sisters last time.
I'd say a discussion your DH needs to have with them. Just have him be frank and explain your feelings. Does he have any sisters at all so they would be more likely to empathize with your views? That helped (a bit) when my DH had the discussion with his mom as to why she was not coming to the hospital (ie she wanted to be there while I was PUSHING last time and I was having none of it lol).
GL, and I hope it gets sorted out for you the way that is best for you.
DH is an only child. His parents are great at not pushing boundaries. Example: DD was their first and only grandchild. We lived in a duplex where they lived on one side and we lived on the other. They literally NEVER knocked on our door randomly. Ever. I know that they will do anything that supports my wishes, it is the 12 hour distance that is the hard part this time. We brought DD over at least weekly. We brought her over for a few minutes the night we got home from the hospital. (They stayed for maybe 20 minutes in the hospital and didn't visit at all during DD's 4 day stay in the NICU.) DH is the frustrating person right now, not my in-laws.
I have no idea who is coming, when. Both grandmas want to come, I told them to book plane tickets whenever was most convenient, and we'd make it work. The plan is for me to be sleeping or feeding baby, and them to be doing laundry, changing diapers, or cooking/grocery shopping. Whatever the timing is (overlapping or not), it will work out. Someone can sleep on a couch if it comes to it. Not my problem at that point!