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Baptism Stress


Forum: April 2014 Playroom

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  • 1 Post By geogeek

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  #1  
March 24th, 2014, 11:02 AM
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Location: Boston
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How many of you are having your baby baptized / christened? If so, when are you doing it?

I'm getting majorly stressed out about this. DH and I met a college and were married by our college priest, so I thought it'd be nice to see if he could baptize our little guy. DH thought it was a great idea. However, our college is in a major city about 4-5 hours away with traffic. I assumed we would do it over the summer once we got the hang of things.

My mother and DH's mother are on our backs to set a date. My mother informs me that all of her kids were baptized 2-3 weeks after birth. I cannot imagine driving 4-5 hours with a baby that young!! To further complicate things, my mother is still undergoing radiation and won't give me a straight answer about her medical appointments (and thus ability to travel). Both my mother and SIL each gave us their family baptismal outfits and want us to wear theirs AND we have both families competing to be the godmother (yep, only fighting over godmother status). DH and I are not agreeing on either of these aspects either.

So part of me also wants to delay since we have to figure out the clothing and godmother situation without angering segments of the family.

Meanwhile, we're still house hunting every weekend, still not set up for baby, and I'm having serious leg/pelvic pain from probably overdoing it on the weekends. Ugh. I just want to hide my head in the sand on this one.
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  #2  
March 24th, 2014, 11:17 AM
geogeek's Avatar Marsi's Mommy
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I am sorry that they are making it so stressful for you. In my church it is a blessing and we are doing it April 13. I made his outfit and we don't have godparents thank goodness. I hope you get things settled. I think it is great that you want the same person to baptize him. I wish families would play nice and let the parents make decisions.
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Last edited by geogeek; March 24th, 2014 at 12:29 PM.
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  #3  
March 24th, 2014, 11:25 AM
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I waited with DD until she was 5 months old. I was scared of germs and people holding her. It turned out great, she was old enough that I wasn't paranoid anymore about multiple family and friends holding her. I plan to do the same with this LO it's gonna be in August. As far as decisions go, because it seems you have a lot! I would have the baby wear both outfits maybe one for the ceremony then change for the gathering after. If your family is dead set on having it sooner rather than later you could always ask the pastor to come to you, you might just have to pay travel and any other expenses.Don't let it stress you, well at least try not to! You and DH need to sit down and plan it and remember Godparents are great but if it's not in your will it doesn't really matter. You should think if you die who is the best person to raise the baby and why.Tell family after baby comes, house situation is settled, and your feeling good you'll make the decisions. Good luck and be firm!!
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  #4  
March 24th, 2014, 11:49 AM
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We are having our baby baptized at the end of June. My biggest stress is finding god parents. None of my siblings are Christian (well, they were raised Christian but they aren't practicing) and the women in my bible study are all waaaaay older than me and not interested. Our pastor said if it was a problem, we could just have one sponsor. But I honestly don't have a single Christian friend to fulfill the role. I'm sorry they're being so needy about it! I would not want to travel with a baby that young, either! I hate it when family interferes and makes things so complicated.
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  #5  
March 24th, 2014, 12:31 PM
Leah1216's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Sorry your family is adding more stress to everything. I would try and incorporate both outfits if possible. Can you have two godmothers? I have two godfathers and one godmother.


We have not set a christening date. It will be in July or August. My oldest was 5 months old when we did hers. And my youngest was almost 4 months when we did hers. We have talked about god parents but, can't decide on any. We have close family friends as godparents to both our girls. DH doesn't really have any other really close guy friends and his brother passed away a few years ago. I was thinking of asking my brother but, he is young and wouldn't really get what an honor it is. I would like to ask one of my sisters but, I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings.
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  #6  
March 24th, 2014, 03:01 PM
MaggieLizer's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Location: Loo-uh-vull, KY
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It sucks that they are both being difficult about this. You would think one side would be able to just respect your wishes and decisions about what is best for your family rather than putting their own interests first.


We started going to an Episcopal church in the fall and want to have her baptized there, but we need to meet with the priest to figure out when. I think they only do them on certain dates or whenever the bishop is available. One of the dates is Pentecost, which is early June, which would be perfect, except that's when my family will be at the beach at a reunion that we won't be able to go to. I'm not sure when the next possible time would be. I think we want to do it while she is still pretty small. I was baptized at 1 month 1 day and DH was baptized around 3 months, I think.
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  #7  
March 24th, 2014, 03:41 PM
Jessimaaka's Avatar Pink in a house of Blue
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Location: Ontario, Canada
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DS was baptized at 9 weeks old. We plan to do the same this time. The godparents will be my sister and brother. DS's are my other sister and other brother. MIL put up a stink last time because we didn't chose SIL....DH was never baptized, SIL did not baptize her kids (so we aren't their godparents), they are not practicing, etc. My family goes every week. We will be godparents to their kids when they have them. Hopefully smoother this time! Love the ideas others have presented (traveling to you, a ceremony and celebration outfit, etc.). I hope you sort everything out
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  #8  
March 24th, 2014, 04:07 PM
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I'm sorry you're family is being like that. Never makes it easier Maybe whichever person is selected as the godmother, either yours or DH's, then the other side of the family's baptismal outfit can be worn. They should just be happy that you are trying to make it work. Hang in there mama
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  #9  
March 24th, 2014, 05:57 PM
MrsPalumbo's Avatar Super Mommy
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We've been having the Baptism debate since before DW was pg. DW is non denominational. I am a Baptized Lutheran. We're not exactly what you would call a super religious family, but I was raised in the church and him being Baptized is VERY important to me. It's just how I was raised. I was Baptized at 3mo but I was really late Baptizing DD (she was 16mo). DW wants to have Max dedicated. I'm adamantly against this and I can't pin point as to why. The only thing we DO agree on is the Godparents. We're disagreeing enough on our own about this, let alone having other ppl put their two cents in. Honestly, it's YOUR baby. I know it's hard, but putting your foot down is the best thing. Sure, some people may be snarky and upset with decisions you and DH make but at the end of the day, the only people you NEED to make happy are yourselves. The ladies have given you great suggestions already. You have enough stress to worry about, tune all of the negativity out all out and do whatever YOU want. GL Mama
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