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Forum: Stillbirth

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  #1  
April 4th, 2008, 12:50 PM
heathernoel's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Maitland, Florida
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It will be held April 19th, the day before Mom's birthday So, now we are going to keep with the deacon for whom Marshall is named, then decide what to do.

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  #2  
April 4th, 2008, 02:21 PM
Fluffy Baby's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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**hugs** Your braver than I was. I was angry. I am also not really religious, so I didn't want anybody with a bible around him later. I had him baptized for DHs familys sake.

Stay strong! **hugs**
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  #3  
April 4th, 2008, 02:35 PM
heathernoel's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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*hugs*

I am not angry with God...myself, the dr., yes...God, no.

There has been such an outpouring from the community (the Church community) to grieve with us, and the church is offering their services to us.
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  #4  
April 4th, 2008, 04:40 PM
Brittanie's Avatar just me
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Quote:
*hugs*

I am not angry with God...myself, the dr., yes...God, no.

There has been such an outpouring from the community (the Church community) to grieve with us, and the church is offering their services to us.[/b]

I have to admit I was angry with God. Not for long, but it was there. When the Dr. told me, I told God that I knew He could give me my daughter back, and demanded that He do so.

He said that it wasn't His will for her that she stay.


I was really angry about that.

And I was angry because my concept of the character of God faltered for a while. How could a God that was loving and just take away my baby, when I wanted her and loved her and did my best to take care of her already, and let those who neglect or hard their babies have them?

It took me a while but I reconciled it.


Anger is a natural part of grief. But the important part is not to STAY angry. Heather, it's not your fault. Don't stay angry with yourself.
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  #5  
April 4th, 2008, 04:56 PM
heathernoel's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I don't think I have it in me to be very angry...I did the angry part when I grieved for Mom, and it got me nowhere but 30 pounds heavier.

I blamed myself for Mom's death...not the cancer itself, but at the very end, maybe I did something to cause the pneumonia that eventually got her. I can't do that with Marshall...or maybe it's just too new to get angry yet.

I am in the seclusion stage...I can get on the computer and spill it, or I can spill it with JOe, but I am shutting people out...

Too many people have said, in a well meaning way, of course, that maybe it's God's mercy. I really hate that, and while they don't mean harm by it, I am afraid of what I am going to say/do to the next person that says it. I don't want to be bold, but soon, I am going to have to start telling my friends HOW they can help, and I hate to be that way.

I want to be left alone to feel what I need to feel and think what I need to think, and in a way it's not fair, because they need to help me as a way of helping me heal.

I am still having moments where I realize that "OMG I lost a child. Joe and I have broken and shattered hearts because Marshall was too special for Earth".
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  #6  
April 4th, 2008, 06:41 PM
Ben,Logan&Kaitlin'sMommy's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I have said to you before that the pain gets easier it doesn't go away - you will forever remember your son in your heart and you will have things that remind you of your son.

For me - Butterflies are a sign of Rebecca - and my three year old that was born 18 months after Rebecca died will tell you a butterfly means sissy

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  #7  
April 4th, 2008, 11:08 PM
lunarmagic's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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*hugs* I'm just now starting to feel like I want to be around people a little bit - in small doses. The need to shut yourself off I think is a self-preservation thing..... you have to just deal with your own emotions first before trying to negotiate others' and even just to find the energy to be social in the least.
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