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Inspired by Heather...


Forum: Stillbirth

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  #1  
April 17th, 2009, 07:06 PM
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Join Date: Apr 2009
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I wanted to start a post, as I have been inspired by Heather's incredibly compassionate heart. I am new here and don't know anyone. I am sure that some of you who have been on here for a while know more than me but I wanted to see if others would be willing to share their stories. I can't think of a better way to ackowledge our little angels and there is healing in the telling of one's story.

My name is Elizabeth (34) and DH is Dave (37) and this is our story...

My name is Elizabeth and my DH is Dave. We got married in June of 2007. After our "honeymoon" period we decided to start trying for a baby and discovered 4 weeks later that we were pregnant. There is not a word that I can think of to describe how absolutely over the moon we were.

At the time, I was working as an ultrasound tech and my husband was with a software designing company. DH was traveling every week (Sun - Thurs) to AR and ultimately decided to become an independant contractor...which meant indefinate travel. We decided that (because he was looking at doing this for at least 2 years) we would move to AR so that he would not miss out on the joys of pregnancy...plus I missed him.

I was 14 weeks along when we moved. Being an ultrasound tech has it's advantages and we were able to find out before we left that we were having a little boy. As far as the pregnancy was concerned it was very easy, mainly no morning sickness. I was tired but that is to be expected. There were absolutely no complications. I found a Dr. in AR who I liked...every thing was going great. At 24 weeks I went in for the glucouse test...tested high and had to go back but the second test was well within the normal limits. The heartbeat was strong and there was no reason for concern. I had just started to feel the baby move...little flutters here and there. My DH would ask me every day, "did you feel the baby move?" and one day I had to tell him..No.

I had thought that he was just in an odd position and that I would surely feel him when I went to bed. We had one of those fetal moniter/heartbeat devices..and we tried that night to find the heartbeat but could not. The next morning I called the Dr. office (they were closed on Fridays) and had to wait for the on-call Dr to get back with me. I explained what was going on and he told me to drink a coke and lay on my left side for 45 minutes...if I didn't feel anything I was to come in and he would take a quick look with the ultrasound machine to make sure everything was ok. There was no movement, so we went in.

I was sure that everything was fine but it wasn't. The Dr. was not able to find a heartbeat. He put the transducer down and held our hands and prayed with us...I will never forget his kindness. We had to go to the hospital to L&D. It wasn't until then that it really hit my husband...when he realized that I had to deliver.

We got there and they ordered a second ultrasound to confirm what we already knew and that night they started the medication to induce labor. Between the pills and potossin I finally gave birth to my little boy at 12:49 am Monday morning. The cord had wrapped around his neck 4 times. I was 26 weeks along the day I delivered him.

There is a peace in knowing how it happened but like I had posted before we still struggle with the "why". We named him Declan Roger and he was so perfect. DH's parents and sister were able to make the 12 hour drive down and my mother was able to fly in and they were all able to hold him and say goodbye.

We made the decision to move back home and have Declan buried here in the same plot as DH's grandmother who had passed away earlier in the year. I know that she will take care of him until I can one day hold him again in my arms. Because we were bringing him back we had to have our little boy cremated which was the most gut wrenching decision I have ever had to make. I know that he is in heaven looking down on us and it makes me smile to think that he will never know pain or fear but I miss him so badly. We will be blessed again, this I am sure of, but patience is such a hard lesson to learn and I will admit, some days I am a horrible student.

We have been TTC since January and are on to the next cycle. I pray that this will be the one for us but I also pray for understanding if it is not. My heart aches to hear the stories that are on here...to know that so many others have had to go through this and yet I am comforted by such a supportive group of strong women who truly understand what it is like. I hope to get to know you all better and I hope that I am able to comfort those who are struggling. I pray for each and everyone of you that you will get that BFP soon but I want you to know if you don't I am here and always willing to listen.
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  #2  
April 18th, 2009, 02:22 AM
claire1979's Avatar mummy to a special angel
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welcome elizabeth and thank you for sharing your story with us x
your story was very much the same as mine i couldnt feel her moving one day so i went to the antenatal appointment to see if we could find a heartbeat and then to the hospital to confirm what we already knew too i delivered jessica 2 days later and she also had the cord wrapped tightly around her neck 3 times.
im so very sorry for your loss of Declan Roger.
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  #3  
April 18th, 2009, 06:18 AM
Jaidynsmum's Avatar Dreams do come true....
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Thank you for sharing Declan's story with us.
My story is different from many of the stories of this board. I found out at 17 weeks that my baby would not survive. She had anencephaly, which meant her brain and skull had not developed properly. I wanted to carry on with my pregnancy and received wonderful support from my family, friends and medical staff.
Ceilidh Marie was born still on the 3rd September 1994 at 42 weeks.
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  #4  
April 18th, 2009, 07:06 AM
grlpisces's Avatar Dynamite w/ a laser beam
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Thank you for sharing your story, Elizabeth. My heart goes out to you on the loss of your precious angel Declan.

My story is different, but with the same tragic ending. I was pregnant with twins after many years of infertility, and I had no idea how to monitor fetal kicks with twins (heck, neither my OB nor perinatologist told me how to monitor fetal kicks). It just so happened that at 32 weeks gestation, during a routine sonogram with the perinatologist, he announced that he could not detect Noah's heartbeat. I delivered Julia the next day via C-section, 8 weeks early. She spent the next 4 weeks in NICU but God bless, my daughter is thriving today.

This place is my haven. I don't know what I'd do without the support of the women on this board.
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  #5  
April 18th, 2009, 08:09 AM
AliciaF's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Welcome

My story is a little different too. I was pregnant with my 3rd last year and when I was almost 6 weeks I was diagnosed with a subchorionic hemorrhage. It was a pretty severe bleed and continually worsened over my pregnancy. By 16 weeks I was experiencing bouts of PTL and at 19w6d my placenta abrupted, I went into PTL and my son Clark was born still on July 10, 2008.
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  #6  
April 18th, 2009, 08:30 AM
lex1078's Avatar Waiting patiently....
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A sad welcome Elizabeth. I'm sorry you have to join this board. Thank you for sharing your story with us.

Again, my story is different also. I lost twin girls last November due to velamentous cord insertion and Absent End Diastolic Blood Flow. I was 23 weeks pregnant when I went into labor and my girls were just too tiny survive. They were not born still, but just shortly after birth they passed away. Their lungs weren't fully developed yet.

We also had the girls cremated. One reason being that I wanted them home with me. I can be with them whenever I want. Another reason being, DH and I don't have a burial place for us yet so I didn't want them to be just anywhere. Third reason is when I'm gone, I will have them buried right with me.

DH and I are TTC again and we do hope to get our BFP soon. TTC is just another frustrating journey to add to our lives. I'm being as hopeful as possible.
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  #7  
April 18th, 2009, 09:44 AM
Brittanie's Avatar just me
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I'm so sorry that you belong here, but you are more than welcome. I really hope that you feel the support I did when I got here.

I lost my Cora at 38 weeks on May 2, 2006. I woke up one morning and couldn't get her to move, and went in to my Dr's office. We confirmed that afternoon (May 1) via ultrasound there was no heartbeat, and I was induced the next morning. She, too, had the cord wrapped around her neck.

We also went the route of cremation. We were living in a small town where DH was going to school, and we knew we'd be leaving in just a couple years (we moved this last January). Neither of our parents were, at the time, planning on staying where they are past retirement. They've both since changed their minds

Anyway, for you.
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  #8  
April 18th, 2009, 10:04 AM
Fluffy Baby's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Hello again.

I lost Dominic at 42w. He was born still 2 days later on October 19, 2007. Not a day goes by that I dont think about him. <3

**hugs** to you.

The hurt will never go away, but time will ease your pain. <3
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  #9  
April 18th, 2009, 10:48 AM
heathernoel's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Hey Elizabeth

My name is Heather, and I am the proud mommy to three girls here on earth, Marshall is my angel, and I am pregnant with what I think is another girl (so it's prob. a boy!)

We lost Marshall at 19 weeks, and delivered him on March 30, 2008. We don't know why he passed away. All we have is conjecture...I couldn't put him through an autopsy.

He is cremated, and sits at home where he overlooks our family. He is a part of our every day lives, and will forever be our perfect son!
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  #10  
April 18th, 2009, 11:16 AM
littlebeansmommy's Avatar Super Mommy
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I lost my little boy at 27 weeks 5 days. I had complained to the OB two weeks prior that he just wasn't moving as much as he had been. I had a VERY active little guy from about 16 weeks on. The OB did an u/s and said that everything was a-ok because they documented movement on the u/s (forced by the tech I say), and he had a good heartbeat. He sent me home to do kick counts which my DS always just barely passed. The Friday before my next appointment he didn't move all day and my OB was on-call so she told me to come into the hopsital to be checked and that's where we learned he was gone. I delivered him at 28wks. I'm like Heather, we don't know why, everything was perfect with him and I too, couldn't put him through and autopsy.

Tomorrow is supposed to be my due date. Today we went and took some blue flowers over to the cemetary and planted them on his grave. I will get to see him again in the future in heaven, but it doesn't help the hurt of today here on earth.
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  #11  
April 19th, 2009, 11:05 AM
BakingMommy's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Our son was born when I was 25 weeks. His cord was extremely thin and got bent or twisted, cutting off blood and oxygen to him. But reading your story, it is similar to ours, except for that I was very sick during my pregnancy.

Typing out the whole story is really beneficial. I have a really long detailed version of our story on our memorial website and when it was completed it just felt so good.

I'm sorry you have to be here, though.
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  #12  
April 19th, 2009, 01:17 PM
lunarmagic's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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A very sad welcome, Elizabeth. Thank you for sharing your story. So tragic.

We lost our little boy when I was just over 35 weeks pregnant. He hadn't been as active that week, but I didn't think much of it, he was getting big. At a routine appointment they said they couldnt' find his heartbeat. We later found out his inner sac had ruptured, creating strands of tissue floating in the amniotic fluid...one of which wrapped very tightly around his umbilical cord. It was a very freak thing to happen.
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