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My grandma is dying


Forum: Stillbirth

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  #1  
April 20th, 2009, 09:05 AM
BakingMommy's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: Pennsylvania
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My dad's mom is dying. They live in Missouri, which is where I was born, but my parents moved to PA in 1987. She's 79, I think. I talked to her back at Christmas time and told them about Roald. She mentioned how tiny he must have been when I told her he was 1 pound, 11 inches. My grandpa recently had heart surgery that was successful and is doing better, he is 84. The hospital let him take grandma home. She's on a large amount of painkillers and sedatives, but they're letting her die at home. She is not coherent and I think she's sort of acting like she has Alzheimer's because my dad talked to her but she didn't know who he was.

She's been going downhill since 2003 when her daughter, my aunt, died suddenly. Then her grandson, my cousin, died a few months later when he had an asthma attack in his sleep and asphyxiated to death. My dad must be feeling pretty crappy; he's lost his sister, nephew, grandson (Roald) and now his mom.

I actually feel kind of jealous; she's going to get to meet Roald before me. She has a grandson who died a few days after birth back in the '70s who was my aunt Zelda's son (the aunt who died). I just feel so sad now. With all of the crap going on with the cemetery where Roald is buried and now this. Plus the angelversary of my best friend's stillborn daughter is coming up on May 13. I feel like I was a bad granddaughter even though it wasn't my fault we live in another state.
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  #2  
April 20th, 2009, 10:02 AM
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just want to offer you hugs and peaceful thoughts.

How hard this must be on you. I am so sorry, for your whole family but especially you and your dad.

I know what you mean about feeling jealous. It sounds weird to say but I imagine I'd feel the same.
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  #3  
April 20th, 2009, 10:36 AM
claire1979's Avatar mummy to a special angel
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awww bonnie im so sorry hun thoughts and prayers to u and ur dad.

i can totally understand the being jelous hun tell her to give him a kiss for u.....
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  #4  
April 20th, 2009, 11:53 AM
grlpisces's Avatar Dynamite w/ a laser beam
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Bonnie -

((HUGS))

My grandmother, who was 80, passed away just yesterday morning. She lived in CT (where the rest of my family lives) for a number of years, having moved there from MA. She and my aunt came to TX in September to visit us, and the entire trip, she kept saying "I can die happy; I saw my Julia!"

I am saddened by the news of my grandmother's passing, and I am saddened to hear about your grandmother as well. I will keep her in my thoughts and prayers. And please don't feel guilt about living in another state; you are NOT a bad granddaughter! I am not attending my beloved grandmother's funeral (please don't judge me; I have my terrifying reasons), and I don't for a moment feel like a bad granddaughter. I have the good memories of my feisty grandmother and this is how I plan on honoring her.

I'm sorry to have hi-jacked this thread; please know that I have your grandma in my thoughts
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  #5  
April 20th, 2009, 12:17 PM
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I'm sorry Bonnie. My thoughts are with you and your family.
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  #6  
April 20th, 2009, 12:34 PM
lex1078's Avatar Waiting patiently....
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Bonnie, my thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.
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  #7  
April 20th, 2009, 01:44 PM
Brittanie's Avatar just me
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Location: Littleton, CO
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Oh honey. It's always hard to lose someone. Don't feel guilty about not going to the funeral. Sometimes it just isn't possible. I wish you could go though, because they always help, I think. They're for those who stay behind, not those who are passing on.

Anyway, for you and your family.
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  #8  
April 20th, 2009, 06:01 PM
SimplyJenalee's Avatar Super Mommy
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I am so sorry. It is so hard to lose someone you love as we all know. Your family will be in my thoughts and prayers!
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  #9  
April 20th, 2009, 08:23 PM
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I'm so sorry Bonnie.

and so sorry to you as well, Barb.

to you both.
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  #10  
April 21st, 2009, 04:52 AM
BakingMommy's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Thanks, everybody.

I've actually agreed to go to the funeral. I know I want to go and I know I'll hate myself if I don't, so when she dies Bill and my oldest sister are going to take turns driving straight through the 20-hour drive there.

Now, I agreed to this but am already dreading it. I only seem to be vomiting in the mornings now, though I did vomit the other afternoon, but I feel sick constantly. I'm going to call the OB office again and explain that I'm going to be traveling so that they can hopefully hook me up with something more powerful than Emetrol (sugar syrup) and acupressure wrist bands, lol. I just know I'm going to feel so sick in that car, but I really want to go to her funeral.

Barb, I'm so sorry to hear about your grandma.
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  #11  
April 21st, 2009, 07:23 AM
lunarmagic's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Location: MA
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Oh I am so sorry. It's aweful to lose anyone close to you. I am glad she's getting to be at home with her husband, even if she seems confused... at least she has some dignity and is at home. I'm glad you get to go to the funeral.... I'm sure it won't be easy, but I think it will be good for you to go.

Big hugs.
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  #12  
April 21st, 2009, 07:06 PM
..Penelope..'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Bonnie, I'm so sorry. You and your family will be in my T&P. I hope that the car ride down isn't too bad for you. *HUGS*
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