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Trying not to freak out


Forum: Stillbirth

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  #1  
April 21st, 2009, 07:26 AM
lunarmagic's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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My first ultrasound is tomorrow. There will either be a heartbeat or there won't. I'm trying really hard to just be stoic and not think too negatively and not panic yet. It's not working too well, since right now I'm not very busy... have nothing much to do. The one day I WANT to be busy.

Instead of picturing how I'm going to call everyone with good news I'm trying to figure out what would be the best way to let everyone knows that it's all over. How sad is that.

Please send your thoughts and prayers. I need this baby to be okay in there... I need to see that heartbeat. I need to believe this is real.

If it ends then I will survive... I'll get through it, we'll keep trying again. But da**it it's my turn. I need a happy ending.
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  #2  
April 21st, 2009, 07:28 AM
claire1979's Avatar mummy to a special angel
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nat hun im sending heartbeat dust fingers crossed bubs is great!

thoughts and prayers for tomorrow hun
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  #3  
April 21st, 2009, 07:45 AM
lex1078's Avatar Waiting patiently....
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My T&P's are there hovering above you all day today and tomorrow. I'm sending happy thoughts too. I can tell you till I'm blue in the face that there will be a heartbeat and that you shouldn't worry, but it won't help. I know you'll still worry. All I can say is we are here for you no matter what. We love you Nat and have nothing but good wishes and hopes!!!
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  #4  
April 21st, 2009, 08:33 AM
AliciaF's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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If there's not a visible heartbeat it's not over! 6w3d is still pretty early to see a heartbeat. I had a US with Clark at exactly 6w3d and we saw a flicker but not enough to say definitively that it was a heartbeat.

Good luck tomorrow!
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  #5  
April 21st, 2009, 09:02 AM
BakingMommy's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Of course you and your little bunny are in my heart! I really have wonderful feelings about this pregnancy of yours-so I will say don't worry, but I understand that's pretty much impossible.

I can't wait to see those scans (if you have any printed)!!! I know someone who'll have trouble sleeping tonight, lol!!! I agree with Alicia, too. Ultrasounds this early are always tricky. You want them but you read so much about how they can't really tell much. But you'll see a little baby and hopefully that beautiful heartbreat!!!!
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  #6  
April 21st, 2009, 09:10 AM
Brittanie's Avatar just me
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Oh, I've been praying so hard for you! You're right, it's your turn!! I can't wait to hear about a great ultrasound!
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  #7  
April 21st, 2009, 09:20 AM
lunarmagic's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I'm working myself up into quite a state of panic, convincing myself the baby is dead and this constant bleeding is just my body trying to tell me that. This blood is upsetting me SO MUCH. I just want it to STOP.

I don't know how I'm going to get through the day.
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  #8  
April 21st, 2009, 10:19 AM
Brittanie's Avatar just me
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Oh honey, I wish there was something I could do to help....
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  #9  
April 21st, 2009, 02:00 PM
heathernoel's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Nat...I will be praying for you...

I won't say I know everything is fine, because I don't know that. What I do know is that this shooting star is SO loved by people who will probably never meet you in real life, but we love your heart and soul, and are in love with your children already.
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  #10  
April 21st, 2009, 04:45 PM
lunarmagic's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I think what I'm feeling is cramps. But I'm not sure. They feel like early labor pains (which for me were never very strong at all). It makes me so scared, so sad.
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  #11  
April 21st, 2009, 06:01 PM
lunarmagic's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Oh, and now it gets better. This bloated, throbby, full feeling is more on my right side. So some of my friends are freaking saying it could be ectopic. Even though I don't really feel much, just a dull ache. But the bleeding for 2 weeks, the aching on one side... yeah I could see why they're scared. So now I'm worried.

I put a call in to the on-call doctor and will be getting a call back shortly. I'll explain it all to him and he can tell me if he wants me to go to the ER or not.

In some ways I feel like this pregnancy has been a complete ^#@%#@ up right from the beginning. At this point I would not be surprized to find out it's ectopic. It would be my %#@%#@ing luck.

I'm just going to go cry some more and wait for the doctor to call me back.
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  #12  
April 21st, 2009, 06:43 PM
SimplyJenalee's Avatar Super Mommy
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I will keep you in my prayers! I hope u hear from the doc soon it's so hard to play the waiting game. I wish there was something I could do to reassure u it will all be okay. Big hugs from me to you!
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  #13  
April 21st, 2009, 07:13 PM
lunarmagic's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Doctor says it's fine to wait until ultrasound tomorrow. So now I'll try to go sleep.
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  #14  
April 21st, 2009, 07:19 PM
lunarmagic's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Oh, and also, tomorrow I will be at my job that doesn't allow internet access, so no updates on the forum until I get home..... please check my twitter. And feel free to post the updates here for everyonen else to read.
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  #15  
April 21st, 2009, 11:15 PM
claire1979's Avatar mummy to a special angel
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thinking about u today hun x
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  #16  
April 22nd, 2009, 11:53 AM
Ben,Logan&Kaitlin'sMommy's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I got to this late - I am so sorry nat
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  #17  
April 22nd, 2009, 01:47 PM
AliciaF's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I just checked her Twitter page

The baby was ectopic and she is going into surgery. This is so, so unfair.

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  #18  
April 22nd, 2009, 01:52 PM
BakingMommy's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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WHAT?!!!!!!!!!! Oh Nat honey....My heart is just breaking for you and Heather and your husbands and your little babies.
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  #19  
April 22nd, 2009, 01:58 PM
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Natalie, I am so, so, sorry! I just don't understand why such terrible things have to happen to such good people. I had a ruptured ectopic in December, so I have an idea of what you are going through pain wise. My thoughts are with you.
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  #20  
April 22nd, 2009, 02:30 PM
SimplyJenalee's Avatar Super Mommy
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I am so sorry Nat...its just not fair, life isn't fair. I wish there was something I could do for you. I will continue to keep you and your family in my thoughts and prayers. Again...im sooo sorry.
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