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Forum: Stillbirth

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  #1  
April 22nd, 2009, 10:16 AM
heathernoel's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Location: Maitland, Florida
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Our baby has anencepholy. I don't know what to say. We will see the ob tomorrow and plan our delivery.

I thought having one angel hurt. Oh God.


So the dr. saw the defect right away. We are beyond devastated, obviously. We went ahead and did an amnio, and the fluid around our l/o, who was very shy, is already bloodied.

Like Rebecca, I have a choice to make. Do I continue carrying the baby, who the dr., who is pro-life, told us has no ability to feel. Or do I deliver now, sparing the rest of my family of more weeks of mental and emotional hell?

I don't know. All I know is that every kick is the sweetest betrayal I have ever felt.

I cannot physically speak. I will continue to update you all because typing seems easier.

We are on our way to church, and to go buy an urn.
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Last edited by heathernoel; April 22nd, 2009 at 10:41 AM. Reason: more details
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  #2  
April 22nd, 2009, 10:25 AM
lunarmagic's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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OMFG. Heather.... I am just speechless. My heart is just breaking...
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  #3  
April 22nd, 2009, 10:26 AM
Ben,Logan&Kaitlin'sMommy's Avatar Super Moderator
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I am so sorry hun.......

I am at a loss of words and don't really know what to say
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εϊз Some People Dream of Angels But I Held One In My Arms εϊз
Rebecca Lee Stillborn 10-30-03
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  #4  
April 22nd, 2009, 10:26 AM
plan4fate's Avatar I may bend, but not break
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OMG Heather! I'm so sorry.. I'm a loss for words. I will be saying a special prayer for your family tonight.
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  #5  
April 22nd, 2009, 10:28 AM
grlpisces's Avatar Dynamite w/ a laser beam
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Oh Heather

There just aren't any words to offer.
I am so, so sorry to hear this.
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  #6  
April 22nd, 2009, 10:28 AM
littlebeansmommy's Avatar Super Mommy
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I am so sorry Heather
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  #7  
April 22nd, 2009, 10:29 AM
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I am so sorry Heather, i have no words just so sorry.
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  #8  
April 22nd, 2009, 10:31 AM
rebeccabaltimore and more's Avatar (rebeccabaltimore)
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Oh, I'm so sorry. You may find A Heartbreaking Choice helpful - that site helped me a lot with Ethan. They have a pretty good message board too at www.aheartbreakingchoice.yuku.com.

I will keep you in my prayers.


Edit: I induced delivery at 18 weeks. If you have any questions about what that's like, please let me know.
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Last edited by rebeccabaltimore and more; April 22nd, 2009 at 10:34 AM.
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  #9  
April 22nd, 2009, 10:35 AM
claire1979's Avatar mummy to a special angel
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oh heather words fail me right now but please know we are here for u

oh god i really need to cry right now
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  #10  
April 22nd, 2009, 10:35 AM
lex1078's Avatar Waiting patiently....
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I'm so so sorry. My T&P's to you and your family. My heart hurts for you.
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  #11  
April 22nd, 2009, 10:40 AM
rebeccabaltimore and more's Avatar (rebeccabaltimore)
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I just got off the phone with my sister. If you have any questions about anencephaly that the doctors didn't answer, you can ask her. Let me know and I will forward the questions to her, or give you her email address.

I'm going to go cry now.
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  #12  
April 22nd, 2009, 10:42 AM
Brittanie's Avatar just me
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Oh Heather this is so unfair. I'm in tears. How can life be so incredibly unfair???

I'll be praying for you as you make those decisions that need to be made.
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  #13  
April 22nd, 2009, 10:52 AM
rebeccabaltimore and more's Avatar (rebeccabaltimore)
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Here is a blog by a woman who chose not to induce delivery and carried to full term - the baby is really sick but she's 2 months old: The story of Faith Hope.

Here are some books designed to help couples make this kind of decision:

Amazon.com: A Time to Decide a Time to Heal: For Parents Making Difficult Decisions About Babies They Love: Molly A. Minnick, Kathleen J. Delp, Mary C. Ciotti: Books
Amazon.com: Precious Lives Painful Choices: A Prenatal Decision-Making Guide: Sherokee Ilse: Books
Amazon.com: Waiting With Gabriel: A Story of Cherishing a Baby's Brief Life: Amy Kuebelbeck: Books

I hope these are helpful. Since they say he can't feel pain, I guess you have some time to decide.
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  #14  
April 22nd, 2009, 11:16 AM
BellaBellski's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I am so very sorry for your loss, I wish words were enough to ease your pain
Sending you lots of
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  #15  
April 22nd, 2009, 11:27 AM
Mom 2 Avery's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I am so terribly sorry to hear about your l/o. My prayers and tears are with you and your family. God bless!!!!

More hugs than usual!!!
Dawna
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  #16  
April 22nd, 2009, 11:46 AM
Ben,Logan&Kaitlin'sMommy's Avatar Super Moderator
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I am still at a loss of words
I can't believe you have to do this twice

how are your daughters doing?
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εϊз Some People Dream of Angels But I Held One In My Arms εϊз
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  #17  
April 22nd, 2009, 12:56 PM
Fluffy Baby's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I am so sorry. I am so sad for you. I will not be able to give you support you need, I will not have a computer. I will try to get on and see how you are and what you decide.
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  #18  
April 22nd, 2009, 02:12 PM
BakingMommy's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I don't know what to say. But God will and He will see you through this. I'll be praying for you and your husband.
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  #19  
April 22nd, 2009, 02:18 PM
AliciaF's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Oh honey. I am so sorry. There are not words to express it.
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  #20  
April 22nd, 2009, 02:23 PM
heathernoel's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I need my girls! My stillbirth girls will understand.

Rebecca, you have been more of a support than you will ever know. I am so sorry I never appreciated the tough choice you had to make. But now that I can appreciate it...I want to just hug you.

We will induce. I can't stand another kick...but I live for them. I miss my angel already. The baby moved all over the screen today...we saw some tush, his/her little hands, feet, heard the slowing heartbeat. But I can't let the baby die a slow death. The amnio fluid was red. Not clear. Red.
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