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Calming fear?


Forum: Stillbirth

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  #1  
April 23rd, 2009, 06:10 PM
Hart's Avatar Veteran
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Washington
Posts: 222
I have no idea how to calm my fears at all.

In april 2008, there was flakes in my daughter's amino fluid, but they assumed it was due to the bleeding I had earlier in the pregnancy which the ER called "harmless". They never thought anything could be wrong since I was young and had a previous healthy full-term pregnancy. I had another follow up ultrasound four weeks later that showed my baby had died sometime that day. I knew something was wrong when I didn't feel her move at all that day. She died due to a placental abruption worst of all they believed that it had slowly tore away from my uterus so I was bleeding out into my uterus for weeks. It kills me to this day because she was 23 weeks and maybe if we had known earlier I could've been in the hospital on bedrest and given steroids. She probably wouldn't have made it, but I would've at least had a chance to say goodbye knowing I did all I could.

I'm now pregnant with boy/girl twins. Last week we saw the same "flakes" in my daughter's amino. I am flashing back to my daughter's pregnancy now I'm scared I'll lose her. The only bleeding I've had was at 6 weeks, but I'm nervous that the worst has happened again we will go to our next u/s to find her dead I obesssively check her hb. We are slowly approaching the day my daughter passed (May 15th). I don't want to spend this entire pregnancy scared, but I feel like it's what's going to happen. I hope this is not the beginning of a nightmare.
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  #2  
April 23rd, 2009, 06:15 PM
lunarmagic's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Oh my goodness, that is scary. Do you have an OB that you trust, that will help hold your hand? I'd be freaking out, as well. I hope they can help figure this out and reassure you somehow. Are they going to be doing more frequent scans? Did they give you any indication as to why there were flakes?
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  #3  
April 23rd, 2009, 06:38 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lunarmagic View Post
Oh my goodness, that is scary. Do you have an OB that you trust, that will help hold your hand? I'd be freaking out, as well. I hope they can help figure this out and reassure you somehow. Are they going to be doing more frequent scans? Did they give you any indication as to why there were flakes?
Right now I have my husband and my midwife (acting as my doula she saw me during my daughter's pregnancy) they are holding my hands through this. I'm seeing a high risk maternal fetal specialist because of my previous stillbirth and I'm having twins so I am getting regular ultrasounds and appointments every 2 weeks. He did ask me if I had any bleeding I said not since 6 weeks. He didn't see anything wrong with her placenta and said sometimes the flakes are just old blood, shredding of vernix or skin, etc etc. They can't really be 100% sure what it is, but her bowel wasn't bright (this can indicate a genetic condition or a fetus that's swallowing blood) which my daughter did have. All they can do is watch and I understand they can't say everything will be all right...it still hurts all the same though.
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  #4  
April 23rd, 2009, 07:05 PM
lunarmagic's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I'm really glad you have people holding your hand, and that you are being monitored closely. It does sound like everything will be okay.... especially them saying the placenta looked fine. I think that's very good.

I'll be thinking about you.
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  #5  
April 23rd, 2009, 07:52 PM
AliciaF's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I lost my son in July due to a placental abruption. I understand your fears. I'll pray that it really does turn out to be nothing this time.
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  #6  
April 23rd, 2009, 11:20 PM
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oh wow hun thats so scary i so glad u got regular scans and continue to do so and its a good sign that the placenta looks fine im sory about the loss of your daughter hun x
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  #7  
April 24th, 2009, 12:05 AM
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I hope and pray everything is alright. Good to hear that you're getting regular checks though and that they said the placenta looks fine.

I'm sorry to hear of the loss of your daughter last year.

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  #8  
April 24th, 2009, 07:09 AM
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oh the torture you must be feeling daily. I am so sorry. I will be praying that your twins make it here safe and sound and you have them in your arms in a few months.

*hugs*

I've gone through a twin pregnancy, let me know if you want to talk.
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  #9  
April 24th, 2009, 09:05 AM
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I am sorry about your daughter. I bet you are scared, so hard not to be! I am so glad you are getting regular visits and ultrasounds and that the placenta looks good. I know the fear will not go away until you get to hold your babies in your arms.
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