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Forum: Stillbirth

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  #1  
April 26th, 2009, 12:44 PM
BellaBellski's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: DC, BC
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Ugggh!! I wish people could just UNDERSTAND. I know it's impossible to understand unless you have been through it, but a little sensitivity wouldn't hurt!!!

I told you all before, our wedding was planned for 1 month after we lost D, so we canceled. We had everything bought/deposits paid, everything. Okay...so fast forward to now, I'm still not married & 15 weeks pregnant again - so not getting married until next year. (Not planning a wedding pregnant again!) I lost my son & my wedding in one shot. The two are definitely connected. My sister wants Mattea to be a flower girl in her wedding, ok fine, I still have Mattea's flower girl dress from our wedding plans....so I tried it on her, and then I started bawling its just too hard to see her in it - it stirs up everything I lost. My sister then asked me yesterday if her flower girl dress still fits, and I told her yes but seeing her in it made me cry so I'm gonna buy a different one...and her reply..... LAUGHTER.....She Laughed!! How is that FUNNY??? UGGGGGGGGGH!!! I really don't like her sometimes. I'm trying to make things as easy as possible so that I can be HAPPY for her and not be reminded of what I lost and start bawling mid-wedding because this day is about HER not me...and she laughs... Ugh... where's the sensitivity?
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  #2  
April 26th, 2009, 01:03 PM
Brittanie's Avatar just me
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Location: Littleton, CO
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She laughed???? Wow, I really dislike your sister too. I'm sorry honey. I think I'd be more than furious at someone who thought my pain was funny.
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  #3  
April 26th, 2009, 01:07 PM
lunarmagic's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: MA
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Ugh, I'm sorry!!! That is just so insensitive! Thta's aweful. I definitely think it's a good idea for you to buy a new dress.
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  #4  
April 26th, 2009, 01:15 PM
claire1979's Avatar mummy to a special angel
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omg wow, seriously i would have told her to find a new flower girl. im so sorry hun
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  #5  
April 26th, 2009, 01:38 PM
rebeccabaltimore and more's Avatar (rebeccabaltimore)
Join Date: Feb 2009
Posts: 1,842
Family members just do not get it sometimes. My sister is super ultra mega awesome, but my dad . . . well he tries. He tried to make me feel better last week (when I had a depressive episode and was nearly suicidal) by telling me about his neighbors who had just lost their 20 year old son to a freak automobile accident. At least Ethan didn't die that way, he says. I wanted to tell him that at least his neighbors had 20 years to have their son - I got 2 hours, and Ethan wasn't even alive for them. Sigh. He means well, he just doesn't understand.

If somebody outright LAUGHED at my, pain, I'd probably punch them. I think you are making a smart move to buy another dress. You might actually be able to enjoy the wedding a little bit. Good luck.
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  #6  
April 26th, 2009, 03:36 PM
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Wow she laughed?? I would have been tempted to say find another flower girl. I am sorry she was so insensitive! I agree with the other ladies and it's a good idea to buy another dress.
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  #7  
April 26th, 2009, 07:58 PM
BellaBellski's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I still can't believe she laughed at me, I haven't talked to her about it yet but I plan to. I just kinda "yeahhh so anyway" when she laughed. Its really offensive.
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Forever loving & Missing ~Damian~ born into heaven August 13th 2008
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  #8  
April 27th, 2009, 12:02 PM
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Join Date: Mar 2009
Posts: 244
wow, that's more than just needing to be a little more sensitive. that's needing to go to therapy for a behavioral problem! I'm sorry but that's crappy and I'd be so hurt by that. There would be no hiding it. You need to let her know that that really hurt you. It's easier said than done, but that was just really tacky. And hard as I try, I can't even fathom why that would be at all funny to anyone anywhere any TIME!

*hugs* Sorry that happened.
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  #9  
April 30th, 2009, 07:29 AM
BakingMommy's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Geez,what a nice sister. I'm peeved off at one of my sisters, too, right now. But if she ever laughed at my pain, or anyone else, I would seriously avoid them.
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