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It almost feels like watching a tsunami


Forum: Stillbirth

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  #1  
April 26th, 2009, 09:50 PM
Brittanie's Avatar just me
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Littleton, CO
Posts: 43,573
It feels like I'm standing on a beach watching the water come, and there's nothing I can do and I can't get away. And I'm not sure I'm going to survive.

Cora's birthday is this Saturday.


Why does this hurt so much more than last year? I've been watching it come for a month now. I just.....ugh.
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  #2  
April 27th, 2009, 12:25 AM
claire1979's Avatar mummy to a special angel
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: huddersfield, england
Posts: 33,629
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brittanie everyone thinks we should be over it everytime angelversarys come but in fact the more i have the worse it feels im further away from her from when i was holding her from when i saw her im so so scared the further away ill some how forget your so right it sucks and im so depressed that my life is gonna suck and i cant get away from that!
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  #3  
April 27th, 2009, 06:56 AM
lunarmagic's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: MA
Posts: 4,037
I think every year it's going to be its own event... they always said grief isn't linear, but I never really understood that until I got further out from the loss. Now it's like you say... some milestones are easier to handle, some hurt a lot... and it doesn't seem very predictable.

I hope the week is gentle on you.
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  #4  
April 27th, 2009, 04:42 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 2,095
Big . Your water analogy is appropriate. Grief ebbs and flows, and it seems you are at a high tide right now. Perhaps having a new baby has made this harder than last year. Maybe it is bringing what should have been into a sharper focus. We are here for you, so vent and cry as much as you need to.
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  #5  
April 27th, 2009, 07:04 PM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Indiana
Posts: 9,769
Oh Brittanie I'm so sorry. I'm with you though. I don't understand why the 2s are affecting me worse then the 1. We're nearing the 2 years here and I'm just broken.

Happy Birthday in Heaven Dear Cora. I'll light a candle for you on your bday
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  #6  
April 27th, 2009, 07:53 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: Canada
Posts: 1,304
I don't know why it gets harder. I found the angelversary harder after having a live child, like Laurie said it brought it into sharper focus of what should have been. And each year I feel like I am losing a bit of my memories of my son and that is so very hard. to you. I will be thinking about you and beautiful Cora Saturday.
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  #7  
April 28th, 2009, 08:24 PM
liz bevan's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Edmonton, AB
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I am sorry that you r having a hard time.
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Thank you so much for the awesome siggie Claire
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