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brittanie everyone thinks we should be over it everytime angelversarys come but in fact the more i have the worse it feels im further away from her from when i was holding her from when i saw her im so so scared the further away ill some how forget your so right it sucks and im so depressed that my life is gonna suck and i cant get away from that!
I think every year it's going to be its own event... they always said grief isn't linear, but I never really understood that until I got further out from the loss. Now it's like you say... some milestones are easier to handle, some hurt a lot... and it doesn't seem very predictable.
Big . Your water analogy is appropriate. Grief ebbs and flows, and it seems you are at a high tide right now. Perhaps having a new baby has made this harder than last year. Maybe it is bringing what should have been into a sharper focus. We are here for you, so vent and cry as much as you need to.
I don't know why it gets harder. I found the angelversary harder after having a live child, like Laurie said it brought it into sharper focus of what should have been. And each year I feel like I am losing a bit of my memories of my son and that is so very hard. to you. I will be thinking about you and beautiful Cora Saturday.
Owen, Avery, Samantha and forever missing Jake born still 08/01/99.